| General Fiction posted February 19, 2025 | Chapters: |
3 4 -5- 6... 
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I woke up this morning feelin'...
A chapter in the book No - Say It Ain't So!
No! Say It Ain't So! Ch 5
by Wayne Fowler
In the last chapter Trump held a cabinet meeting where he stopped the Secretaries from dramatic changes. Tom figured out that Trump’s life was in danger. Trump reacted negatively to the commercial jet and Army helicopter collision. Trump delivered a rousing speech at the U.N., expressing sound support for the U.N. charter mission, as well as support for NATO.
Chapter Five
“Tom!” I was at my wit’s end. “What if I released the Epstein files?”
“Are you certain you’re… he’s on them?”
I hated the way he said that, but I understood. “He has to be. Look at the flight records, at the photos with Trump and the little girls. And before you ask, I don’t care who else gets sucked into it. If they visited those little girls…”
“I’d say, given the makeup of the House, you would probably get impeached. Maybe 50/50. But I don’t see 67 Senators voting to convict, especially not without a blue dress.”
I knew that Tom was referring to hard evidence of the nature of Monika Lewinski’s blue dress with DNA on it.
“Then how about if I took a gun and shot Steve Bannon dead?”
“Impeached, not convicted. I can hear some Senators now. ‘We have precedent. Presidents are subject to the courts after they are out of office.’ And another is going to blather on about Presidential immunity.” Tom held up his hand, stopping my ridiculous argument for commonsense saying that murder is not a President’s normal duty.
“Now if you hurt an innocent? Like you took your gun and shot Bishop Budde? Or you had some little girl, or boy… Never mind. Forget I said that.”
Tom stopped his pacing. We were in my sleeping quarters at the White House where we could talk unobserved. “But before you did anything to be impeached for, or resigned from office, God forbid, have you figured out how to replace the Vice President?”
My shoulders involuntarily dropped, giving Tom his answer.
“But speaking of resigning, what if I taped a resignation to go along with my written resignation that you could find in the event wonderfine wasn’t fine anymore – we’d switched back? Wouldn’t that screw the pooch?”
Tom grinned, then chuckled. “Trump would be carrying on about being in someone else’s body. And denying what the video of himself said. Hilarious.”
“Amendment 25.”
“And your Vice President,” Tom said.
“Has he done anything impeachment-worthy?” I asked.
“You mean since the inauguration?”
“Or before, if it’s a felony.”
We both thought a moment.
“You could assign him a task, make him in charge of some project or other where him being him, he couldn’t help but soil himself.”
“Hmmm. Like investigating Justice Clarence Thomas?”
“Convince him that only a GOP investigation would unearth the truth and not be political?”
“Knowing that he would politicize it and engage in a cover-up.” I smiled.
“Or assign him to investigate the Mexican cartels. Tell him to interview the leaders, that you wanted to negotiate a truce. He could get down there and get himself killed.”
I frowned at that one. “And maybe some Secret Service agents, as well.”
“Then poison his panties. He’s the one most benefitted by your demise.”
“Tom, I only look like a felon. I’m liking the Supreme Court option. We could assign him investigation and reports on all nine – a restore confidence in the Court program. Tell him that the FBI can’t be trusted. That one side or the other wouldn’t believe them. That he was the only person who could carry the banner and that it would secure his future.”
“Kavanaugh’s finances, Alito’s alliances, Robert’s allegiances concerning his wife’s Federal Court attorney work… Oh, and you have all those names of women who complained of Kavanaugh’s behavior.”
I smiled. “All nine, full reports,” I repeated. “And a short timeline, like four weeks.”
Tom was nodding his head. “And even if that doesn’t get him impeached, it sure won’t hurt the cause. Either a couple Justices resign, thinking you'll replace in kind, or there’s better justification for the next President to expand the court to thirteen.”
“With Democratic Senate votes, I could put a couple in who would be considered truly centrist, with bipartisan support.”
Tom nodded.
+++
The Vice President wasn’t exactly delighted, but he would like investigating the cartels less. But he was happy to be off the bench so to speak.
Next, we were off to Brussells. I had to make nice. Not as easy as it would have been for Joe Biden. I couldn’t get a firm commitment from a single head of state. A few disinvited me from landing Air Force One. I called President Zelenskyy and had a perfect phone call. No, seriously, I did. I thought about asking Alexander Vindman if he would like to sit in on the call.
The beauty of being in the skin of someone who you don’t care what happens to him is that it swells four gonads. It’s a wonder I could walk around after my phone call to Putin. See, I didn’t care what he had on Trump. I, Philip Jansen could not be embarrassed by nude photos with a Russian hooker, or disclosure of an act of espionage.
“Hello, President Putin?”
Quickly after niceties, I got to the point. “I will fly to Kyiv on Thursday between nine and ten in the morning, Kyiv time.”
I didn’t pay the least attention to what he said in return, something about it being a war zone and not responsible for my safety. It was funny that he called his special military operation a war.
“Mr. President,” I said. “Air Force One will take me to Kyiv from Warsaw. Before I enter Ukraine airspace, every NATO jet will be in the air. You will see it on your satellite cameras. None will behave offensively unless provoked. I fully expect you to respond with your aircraft. But know that air is not our only tool.” I waited for the response just to be polite.
There were hints of why I should not do it and the expected bluster of retaliation. He even managed to get the word nuclear in there, though it wasn’t coherent. I, as naïve as an ordinary American could be, knew that doing anything nuclear against the President of the United States of America was far different from a tactical nuclear strike against a military unit in Ukraine, a non-NATO country. I also had a pretty good idea that Putin would not want to spend the money it would take to put a matching number of jets in the air over Belarus. And that presupposed President Lukashenko would tolerate the event taking place over his country.
In any event, I would wager Putin couldn’t get half our number in the air, and keep them there long enough to make an impression. I’ll bet also that NATO generals would welcome the information learned from Putin’s attempt. No, he would do nothing. I would give Zelenskyy welcome assurances, tour something or other, and leave. No muss, no fuss.
And if Trump returned to his body before I got it done, well, what could he do but embarrass himself? I already spoiled his love affair with Putin. For whatever he might do to repair that, he might get impeached… again. And impeaching Trump as himself was far different from impeaching me, replaced by his Vice President.
All I had to do was to stay alive.
photo from FanArtReview: FamousHouse!20 by nikman
Phil Jansen: woke up one day as Donald Trump
Donald Trump: woke up one day as Phil
Tom McQuin: White House butler
Betty Goodman: White House Chief of Staff
Dr. Schweitz: White House doctor
Hakeem Jeffries: as himself, House minority leader
Kirsten: Trump press secretary
Monika Lewinski: young lady involved with Bill Clinton's impeachment
Alexander Vindman: an Army Colonel who testified at length in Trump's first impeachment
Steve Bannon: major, outspoken trump supporter
25th Amendment: Constitutional amendment detailing removal of the President
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Phil Jansen: woke up one day as Donald Trump
Donald Trump: woke up one day as Phil
Tom McQuin: White House butler
Betty Goodman: White House Chief of Staff
Dr. Schweitz: White House doctor
Hakeem Jeffries: as himself, House minority leader
Kirsten: Trump press secretary
Monika Lewinski: young lady involved with Bill Clinton's impeachment
Alexander Vindman: an Army Colonel who testified at length in Trump's first impeachment
Steve Bannon: major, outspoken trump supporter
25th Amendment: Constitutional amendment detailing removal of the President
Artwork by nikman at FanArtReview.com
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