Satire Script posted October 9, 2022 | Chapters: | -1- 2... |
A Musical in One Act
A chapter in the book New York's Best: the NYDOE
NYCDoHD Spells Jobs
by Jay Squires
Pre-play request: On this first of multiple scenes, I'm begging that you would suspend your disbelief as never before, and pretend that this play was already accepted for production and that YOU are the director who has, for the first time, gotten the script in his/ her hands. As the director, you must set up the stage with all the accouterments of production. You must know exactly where the Desks, the Gallery, and the gigantic Window through which the storm can be seen ... are. So much depends on visualizing it first, before you make your calls to secure the props. As the Director, Dear Reader, may I ask you to take a few extra minutes to thoroughly lock the Setting in your mind? If you feel any enjoyment in reading the scene, that will be largely the reason. Thank you— JS
ACT I, Scene 1 CAST OF CHARACTERS MR. KINCADE: Manager of the NYCDoHD, a man in his late 40s. Dressed to the nines. One wonders if there is a hidden depth that he'd long ago sacrificed for the priorities of the day. SETTING: The office of the New York City Department of Human Development (the NYCDoHD). A desk, Down Center, facing right; a straight-back chair in front of it, facing left. Center Stage, Right to Left, twin rows, five each, of similar “manned” desks, being always in “near-total” shadow. Two of the desks in the center of the nearest row are occupied by Marshall and Betty. Upstage, Center to Right, a bleacher-like gallery, nearly full of extras. On the wall above the gallery is an oversized electrical device blinking the next number to be called. The office entrance/Exit door, Upstage Left. Just inside the door is a Take-a-Number Machine. A large picture window adjacent to the Exit, Upstage Right to Left (about half of it eclipsed by the gallery), shows continually blustery weather outside and occasionally silhouetted people walk past it on the sidewalk, trudging by, bent into the squall. PLACE/TIME: New York City Department of Human Development, January 1930, the beginning of the Great Depression. AT RISE: The metallic sound of a key turning. The entrance/exit opens to the WHOOOSH and bluster of weather. MR. KINCADE enters, closing and locking the door behind him. He shakes the snow from his hat, removes his overcoat, and gives it a shake. Then, as though just discovering he is being watched, he stares, overcoat and hat in hand, at his employees. CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: BETTY: MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: [The CHORUS erupts in laughter, then, seeing that MR. KINCADE is serious, they stop short and look sheepishly at him.] MARSHALL: MR. KINCADE: MARSHALL: BETTY: CHORUS: [At this moment, a man can be seen through the window, rapping on the door, pointing at his watch, then hugging himself in the cold. Others around him are behaving the same] MR. KINCADE: [There is another rap on the window. The same man is pointing to his watch. MR. KINCADE unlatches the door and opens it to the horrendous sound of the weather as 20 or so people file past him, picking a paper number and making their way, grumbling, to the gallery. MR. KINCADE follows them with his eyes. Then he looks back wearily at his fellow workers.] MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR. KINCADE: CHORUS: MR KINCADE: CHORUS: [The stage goes to darkness, except for the device on the wall that blinks “121”] END OF SCENE ONE
While this is calling itself a musical, I am no composer or lyricist. If this ever did go to production, I imagine the necessary people would mysteriously come out of the woodwork to erase that deficit. I must confess, though, that as I wrote the singing parts (particularly at the end of the scene), Frank Sinatra and Liza Minnelli were vying for the top spot in my brain as when they sang, "I want to be a part of it ... New York, New Yooooork." I think it would be Liza because I would want that kind of energy where the words come out so fast they are accompanied by spittle, and I can't picture that happening with Frank. (When you're in the business, you get to call 'em by their first names.) Oh, then, in some cockamamie way, "Seventy-Six Trombones" from "Music Man" kept trying to squeeze in the earlier "listing of things". Damn! My brain is crowded!
Pays
one point
and 2 member cents. Also, I want to alert those reviewers who are opposed to the use of UPPERCASE (as I ordinarily am), I want to assure you I'm doing it with my eyes wide open, knowing it is a poor substitute for a musical "intensifier" of a note but at the same time, the quieter italics just won't cut it. If you have a minute (actually 4 minutes and twenty-some seconds, take a listen to Lisa Minnelli's STUNNING (albeit visually "grainy") rendition of "New York, New York"; I think you'll see why her version is worming around my brain -- and hopefully yours, hee-hee for the rest of the day. |
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