No - Say It Ain't So!
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "NO! Say It Ain't So! Ch 25"I woke up one morning feeling...
6 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Tom and Phil are hatching up some cunning ways to get the worst of the deadwood out of office. I should think Trump might have a heart attack when he discovers what he has supposedly done.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Tom and Phil are hatching up some cunning ways to get the worst of the deadwood out of office. I should think Trump might have a heart attack when he discovers what he has supposedly done.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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smiley face here
They have to be careful of that (Trump heart attack). It wouldn't do to have him croak prematurely.
Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from Faith Williams
Things are moving along now. I'm surprised no one has called in a psychiatrist, but I guess being Trump has its privileges. I'm sure he wouldn't stand for the insinuation.
Suggestions to consider:
These sentences have that word, looked. I suggest switching them out for stronger verbs.
I nodded and looked at Tom hard.
She looked at me
She looked at Tom
"Feathers were getting riled." Did you want this sentence to say riled, or did you mean ruffled?
I know you're trying to hurry the story along, but this passage sticks out to me. Betty's hackles are already raised, and this section might have her really think someone else is in Trump's body. (Unless, of course, that is what you're going for.) I just don't see him reading any of it or starting to read it and say something about 'mumbo jumbo' and demanding she tell him what it means in English.
"Before she could continue, I asked her for a copy of the charges. I had them in eighteen minutes. With her watching me, I underlined several lines on different pages. I didn't care that she thought it peculiar that I could read quickly."
I imagine members of the GOP must be rather nervous now. I can't wait to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Things are moving along now. I'm surprised no one has called in a psychiatrist, but I guess being Trump has its privileges. I'm sure he wouldn't stand for the insinuation.
Suggestions to consider:
These sentences have that word, looked. I suggest switching them out for stronger verbs.
I nodded and looked at Tom hard.
She looked at me
She looked at Tom
"Feathers were getting riled." Did you want this sentence to say riled, or did you mean ruffled?
I know you're trying to hurry the story along, but this passage sticks out to me. Betty's hackles are already raised, and this section might have her really think someone else is in Trump's body. (Unless, of course, that is what you're going for.) I just don't see him reading any of it or starting to read it and say something about 'mumbo jumbo' and demanding she tell him what it means in English.
"Before she could continue, I asked her for a copy of the charges. I had them in eighteen minutes. With her watching me, I underlined several lines on different pages. I didn't care that she thought it peculiar that I could read quickly."
I imagine members of the GOP must be rather nervous now. I can't wait to see what happens next.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your great review.
riled feathers - guess I mixed a metaphor. (smiley face here)
I always appreciate your review.
Comment from jim vecchio
Whew! Phil sure had a busy day! Reminds me of the time I worked for the CIA and compiled a file on a notorious double agent, then morphed into the agent as I handed the packet to my superiors and ended up convicting myself. The food sure was awful those eight weeks till I morphed back again.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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Whew! Phil sure had a busy day! Reminds me of the time I worked for the CIA and compiled a file on a notorious double agent, then morphed into the agent as I handed the packet to my superiors and ended up convicting myself. The food sure was awful those eight weeks till I morphed back again.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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But did you die? The food couldn't have been 'that' bad.
Thanks for reading. (smiley face here)
Comment from Wendy G
I commend you on showing what the real Trump is like (although he's probably done a lot more damage to international relations and national well-being than we can even imagine), and poor Phil has to not only emulate Trump, but reduce the collateral damage! Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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I commend you on showing what the real Trump is like (although he's probably done a lot more damage to international relations and national well-being than we can even imagine), and poor Phil has to not only emulate Trump, but reduce the collateral damage! Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 16-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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Thank you. I'm trying, doing my best. (to live in my little world where a little sanity abides)
The confessions of people denouncing their Trump votes are painful. All they had to do was pay attention.
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So there is a turning away from him by those who voted him in?
Yes, they could have read the clear signs. What he's doing is not surprising in some ways, as it's consistent with his character, but the speed of it is unsettling.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This chapter was so enjoyable. I loved how you kept the tension high. The pacing made it feel like I was right there in the room - hearing every word. This felt like a behind the scenes look at something huge happening in real time. Really gripping writing! I enjoyed every bit of it!
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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This chapter was so enjoyable. I loved how you kept the tension high. The pacing made it feel like I was right there in the room - hearing every word. This felt like a behind the scenes look at something huge happening in real time. Really gripping writing! I enjoyed every bit of it!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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Thank you very much.
I just typed and then deleted political stuff. Writing this was pure escapism.
Comment from lyenochka
Woohoo!! Now that's progress! I like how Phil keeps saying that it has to be done TODAY because he never knows if he will be Trump tomorrow or not. Wish he really had that power.
Now I'm wondering how Phil will undo the Alien Enemies Act. I keep hoping that the people affected most by this enactment will be Trump's own people and Musk's employees. Who knows? Are we at "war" with Slovenia? Maybe Melania's parents are not safe?
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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Woohoo!! Now that's progress! I like how Phil keeps saying that it has to be done TODAY because he never knows if he will be Trump tomorrow or not. Wish he really had that power.
Now I'm wondering how Phil will undo the Alien Enemies Act. I keep hoping that the people affected most by this enactment will be Trump's own people and Musk's employees. Who knows? Are we at "war" with Slovenia? Maybe Melania's parents are not safe?
Comment Written 15-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2025
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Thank you. I would say that my project is simple fantasy, but these days, reality is more like fantasy (to the opposite extreme) than is my story.
The issue is whether I can get my solution posted before too many people are hurt.
Project 2025 people seem to be Nazi/Orban/Erdogan/Putin types.
My grandson married a birther citizen. Both her parents live in Mexico. She is at risk.
Thank you for your support.
