A Serendipitous Meeting
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 " Serendipitous Chapter 1 B"Traditional in a modern world..
31 total reviews
Comment from Begin Again
You're off to another good start, Baarbara... You've teased the reader with embezzlement, running away, and a father who must be controlling.... Interesting!
This might have been intentional but I noticed you repeated two thoughts within a few lines of the story..... and I also didn't know if the first sentence read as you wanted. You probably know better than I, but I thought I'd mention it.
I'm wondering is if she can
how to handle it."
one would go on vacation without luggage."
Enjoyed the post...
Smiles, Carol
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reply by the author on 09-Feb-2025
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You're off to another good start, Baarbara... You've teased the reader with embezzlement, running away, and a father who must be controlling.... Interesting!
This might have been intentional but I noticed you repeated two thoughts within a few lines of the story..... and I also didn't know if the first sentence read as you wanted. You probably know better than I, but I thought I'd mention it.
I'm wondering is if she can
how to handle it."
one would go on vacation without luggage."
Enjoyed the post...
Smiles, Carol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2025
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Thank you for understanding.
