A Walk In My Shoes
Be careful! What goes around, comes around.36 total reviews
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
What goes around does indeed come around! The story is well told even if it does stretch the imagination tothe limit.
Knocking a man down and leaving him to possibly die, is a little too much even for an ambitious executive.
The change of persona is also not explained. Of course she now has to experience all of the things the old homeless man endured, but unless she is able to change back, it will have served no purpose.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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What goes around does indeed come around! The story is well told even if it does stretch the imagination tothe limit.
Knocking a man down and leaving him to possibly die, is a little too much even for an ambitious executive.
The change of persona is also not explained. Of course she now has to experience all of the things the old homeless man endured, but unless she is able to change back, it will have served no purpose.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your great review and stars. I believe that people are capable of anything, but perhaps I am jaded. I live in New York and unfortunately, I hear of such things on the news practically everyday. I agree it does stretch the imagination, but I think the lesson is effective. If she can change back, where is the punishment?
Sandollar
Comment from patmedium
May I say that this particular tale is written in such a way that it just hauls your reader in, dragging me along, willy-nilly to the finishing line? I have read this, helter-skelter. Felt guilty, went back to read it again, more slowly, giving it the proper amount of attention.
On the third time around I can safely say that I find no faults and have NO criticisms.
The images you paint on the blank canvas of my mind's eye are vivid and uncomfortable.
The emotions you have placed in here are strong and almost palpable.
WHAT a stunning read this is! If this doesn't win, I shall be shocked and disappointed.
Pat.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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May I say that this particular tale is written in such a way that it just hauls your reader in, dragging me along, willy-nilly to the finishing line? I have read this, helter-skelter. Felt guilty, went back to read it again, more slowly, giving it the proper amount of attention.
On the third time around I can safely say that I find no faults and have NO criticisms.
The images you paint on the blank canvas of my mind's eye are vivid and uncomfortable.
The emotions you have placed in here are strong and almost palpable.
WHAT a stunning read this is! If this doesn't win, I shall be shocked and disappointed.
Pat.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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I thank you so much for taking the time to read it through three times. It means a lot coming from you as I am familiar with your work. I cannot tell you how happy I am you enjoyed this. Thank you for you good wishes for the contest.
Sandollar
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I am a speed reader... that's how I can review so many. HOWEVER, when I find one which is outstandingly good, I try to slow down for many reasons... there might be typos/a grammer mistake/whatever. If I can help an author with a suggestion, I want to make sure it's a sensible suggestion. I had to read yours 3 times to get straight in my head that it didn't need help! I was so FULL of glee at such a clever tale. Pat.
With THIS one I wanted to keep on galloping and almost swallowing it whole.
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NOW I know why I thought I had missed you, somehow. You're an anon! I went for a search and found my comments on quite a few.
Interestingly, only two lines into the nun's story, I remembered the whole tale... shows how strong a writer you really are!
Comment from Alpha Female
Excellent, I love the instant Karma. Perfect flow and you painted her personality as totally deserving of the fate which befell her. I would love to read more of your work.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Excellent, I love the instant Karma. Perfect flow and you painted her personality as totally deserving of the fate which befell her. I would love to read more of your work.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review and stars. I am a fan of instant Karma and also of there being consequences for actions good or bad. I am pleased to know you would like to read more of my work. Please feel free to look in my portfolio.
Sandollar
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I will look at your portfolio and will be watching for more of your writing.
Comment from minopavlic
Brilliantly put together with the makings of a powerful story on its own merits, which could lead itself in all kinds of directions.
Nice entry.
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Brilliantly put together with the makings of a powerful story on its own merits, which could lead itself in all kinds of directions.
Nice entry.
no_obstacle
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for the wonderful review and five star rating. I am so happy you enjoyed the read. It was fun to write.
Sandollar
Comment from wierdgrace
I truly love the way you used the character you did in this story, well done, no errors and no revisions, good luck in this contest, and it has so much emotions with it, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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I truly love the way you used the character you did in this story, well done, no errors and no revisions, good luck in this contest, and it has so much emotions with it, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks for the positive review and five star rating. I had a good time writing it and I'm happy you enjoyed. Thanks also for the good wishes in the contest.
Sandollar
Comment from highlander104
Good contender for this contest. A touch of supernatural giving the "what goes around comes around" philosophy. "This could be you someday, Kira."
Your descriptions and easy flow of this story are excellent. Didn't find any spags. Good luck in the contest.
Jean K.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Good contender for this contest. A touch of supernatural giving the "what goes around comes around" philosophy. "This could be you someday, Kira."
Your descriptions and easy flow of this story are excellent. Didn't find any spags. Good luck in the contest.
Jean K.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks you so much for this six star rating. I am so honored you enjoyed it. Had fun writing it. Thanks also for your good wishes in the contest.
Sandollar
Comment from adewpearl
Guilt has quite a power over the mind - it is so sad that people disregard the poor and homeless as if they are stray dogs to be run over and not cared about, just a nuisance in one's busy day. You get into this woman's mind well, from the way she conducts her life and business to the way she regards this "inferior" man to the guilt that consumes her in the end. A provocative and haunting story, a good interpretation of the contest picture. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Guilt has quite a power over the mind - it is so sad that people disregard the poor and homeless as if they are stray dogs to be run over and not cared about, just a nuisance in one's busy day. You get into this woman's mind well, from the way she conducts her life and business to the way she regards this "inferior" man to the guilt that consumes her in the end. A provocative and haunting story, a good interpretation of the contest picture. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much for the great review and stars. I wanted to take a different tack with this. I'm so happy you enjoyed it.
Sandollar
Comment from Roberta Joan Jensen
What a great story! If only people really could experience something like that when they do a wrong, what a different world we'd have. Of course my idea is that they'd come back to their real world, but changed by their experience.
Roberta
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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What a great story! If only people really could experience something like that when they do a wrong, what a different world we'd have. Of course my idea is that they'd come back to their real world, but changed by their experience.
Roberta
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thanks so much for the wonderful review and five-star rating. I agree. There'd be a lot less wrongdoing in the world if people really experienced consequences like this for their actions.
Thanks again.
Sandollar
Comment from mtngalofnc
hi Sandollar,
What a contest entry. Very imaginative.
I saw no spag and the story has a smooth flow.
I found myself wanting to read more to find out what happened to your character.
Best wishes with the contest and thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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hi Sandollar,
What a contest entry. Very imaginative.
I saw no spag and the story has a smooth flow.
I found myself wanting to read more to find out what happened to your character.
Best wishes with the contest and thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you very much for the great review and stars. I'm very glad you enjoyed the read. Thanks also for the good wishes in the contest.
Sandollar
Comment from hotstuff
Wow, what a twist to your story. I have to admit I was confused at first that Kira had switched places and was suddenly the old man but realise that your message is that 'unless we do walk in other's shoes we can never fully understand how they feel.'
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Wow, what a twist to your story. I have to admit I was confused at first that Kira had switched places and was suddenly the old man but realise that your message is that 'unless we do walk in other's shoes we can never fully understand how they feel.'
Comment Written 17-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your wonderful review and five-star rating. I'm happy you enjoyed this. I had fun writing it. How much wrong would be done in this world if the consequences of our actions were something like this?
Thanks again,
Sandollar
