An Unexpected Nap
A short story about a Hollywood hopeful with skills26 total reviews
Comment from jacquelyn popp
This story is a brilliant, fast-paced adventure full of unexpected twists and unforgettable moments! Darren Gold is an unforgettable character, a man who ventured from Omaha, Nebraska, to California with little more than hope and his extraordinary set of skills. His martial arts prowess, along with his uncanny ability to imitate voices and sounds (especially his infamous dog growl), make him a standout protagonist. The scene where Darren faces off against the masked robber is pure magic!
The tension in the moment is palpable, and Darren's quick thinking and confidence in his abilities are truly inspiring. His move to counter the robber's threat with a growl that sends chills down the spine of his attacker is both genius and humorous. It's a unique twist that not only saves the day but also shows how Darren's unconventional skills make him a hero in his own right. The revelation that the robber, Alan Trask, is a white man trying to disguise his identity adds an intriguing layer of mystery and depth to the story.
The transition of Darren from an unknown neighborhood hero to a successful Hollywood stunt double, voice actor, and extra is inspiring. His journey shows that sometimes, unexpected skills can open doors in the most surprising of ways. What's more, the fact that even the robber, Alan, is haunted by the growls and punch that knocked him out adds a touch of poetic justice to the narrative.
The blend of action, humor, and unexpected heroism in this story creates a compelling read from start to finish. The pacing is perfect, and Darren's growth as a character is both heartwarming and inspiring. If you're looking for a story that combines action, humor, and a dash of mystery, this one is a must-read!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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This story is a brilliant, fast-paced adventure full of unexpected twists and unforgettable moments! Darren Gold is an unforgettable character, a man who ventured from Omaha, Nebraska, to California with little more than hope and his extraordinary set of skills. His martial arts prowess, along with his uncanny ability to imitate voices and sounds (especially his infamous dog growl), make him a standout protagonist. The scene where Darren faces off against the masked robber is pure magic!
The tension in the moment is palpable, and Darren's quick thinking and confidence in his abilities are truly inspiring. His move to counter the robber's threat with a growl that sends chills down the spine of his attacker is both genius and humorous. It's a unique twist that not only saves the day but also shows how Darren's unconventional skills make him a hero in his own right. The revelation that the robber, Alan Trask, is a white man trying to disguise his identity adds an intriguing layer of mystery and depth to the story.
The transition of Darren from an unknown neighborhood hero to a successful Hollywood stunt double, voice actor, and extra is inspiring. His journey shows that sometimes, unexpected skills can open doors in the most surprising of ways. What's more, the fact that even the robber, Alan, is haunted by the growls and punch that knocked him out adds a touch of poetic justice to the narrative.
The blend of action, humor, and unexpected heroism in this story creates a compelling read from start to finish. The pacing is perfect, and Darren's growth as a character is both heartwarming and inspiring. If you're looking for a story that combines action, humor, and a dash of mystery, this one is a must-read!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Wow! I am completely overwhelmed by your generous and inspiring response to my little story. Now I will have to look for more stories lie this but with different scenarios of course.
Comment from Angel Debbie
Excellent friend! Served this guy right to pull a stunt like that on someone. I hope he never was in your neck of the woods, and you saw all this happening. Fictional or not it can really happen this way. This world has some very weird people in it. Take Care great write!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Excellent friend! Served this guy right to pull a stunt like that on someone. I hope he never was in your neck of the woods, and you saw all this happening. Fictional or not it can really happen this way. This world has some very weird people in it. Take Care great write!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Thank you Debbie, you are truly an angel to me at least.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Haha! A well-structured story! You hook us in at the start - and, especially the picture in which the robber looks to be in a particularly precarious position. Then, as the story unfolds, we read that Darren finds his own fame in Hollywood by a quite unexpected route. I like the ending with the robber being haunted by dog growls and a punch that laid him out on the ground. A perfect resolution for both men: the saviour and the villain. Well done, Nomi! Warm wishes Debbie
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Haha! A well-structured story! You hook us in at the start - and, especially the picture in which the robber looks to be in a particularly precarious position. Then, as the story unfolds, we read that Darren finds his own fame in Hollywood by a quite unexpected route. I like the ending with the robber being haunted by dog growls and a punch that laid him out on the ground. A perfect resolution for both men: the saviour and the villain. Well done, Nomi! Warm wishes Debbie
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Thank you Debbie. Any praise from you is very well received and treasured.
Comment from Gayla putnam
After the first line, I was hooked on your story. I immediately liked Darren and was drawn into his character. Your descriptions made me feel like I knew him. You threw in some good twists and some humor. gayla
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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After the first line, I was hooked on your story. I immediately liked Darren and was drawn into his character. Your descriptions made me feel like I knew him. You threw in some good twists and some humor. gayla
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Thank you, that was my whole intent. I only sought to entertain.
Comment from Harambe iz ur Daddy
** rating revised up after edits by author **
Hi author,
Darren was an excellent martial artist, he often said that he could be a blonde blue eyed stunt double for Bruce Lee. <= run-on sentence -- split into two
blonde blue eyed stunt double <= write as blue-eyed (these two words function as a compound adjective, since they require each other)
The police received a shock when they took off the robber's mask, they were surprised to find a white man. <= run-on sentence -- cleanest edit: The police received a shock when they took off the robber's mask, and discovered a white man.
The robber, Alan Trask <= add a comma here
Correct these issues and message me back, and I'll add a star. Thanks for the read!
🦍
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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** rating revised up after edits by author **
Hi author,
Darren was an excellent martial artist, he often said that he could be a blonde blue eyed stunt double for Bruce Lee. <= run-on sentence -- split into two
blonde blue eyed stunt double <= write as blue-eyed (these two words function as a compound adjective, since they require each other)
The police received a shock when they took off the robber's mask, they were surprised to find a white man. <= run-on sentence -- cleanest edit: The police received a shock when they took off the robber's mask, and discovered a white man.
The robber, Alan Trask <= add a comma here
Correct these issues and message me back, and I'll add a star. Thanks for the read!
🦍
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Thank you. It has been a while since I wrote something other than poetry and obviously my skills have slipped a bit. I appreciate your excellent edit.
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No problem Nomi! You're an excellent writer and these are are easy mistakes to make. I've adjusted the rating up a star. 🦍
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No problem Nomi! You're an excellent writer and these are are easy mistakes to make. I've adjusted the rating up a star. 🦍
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Thank you.
Comment from royowen
All I can say is, serve the horrid man right. It's so good when one hears of good overcoming evil, and somebody enhanced the racist theory that all that are evil are black, we are all evil, save for the grace of God, beautifully written Nomi, blessings Roy
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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All I can say is, serve the horrid man right. It's so good when one hears of good overcoming evil, and somebody enhanced the racist theory that all that are evil are black, we are all evil, save for the grace of God, beautifully written Nomi, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Thank you Brother Roy. I appreciate you.
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Bless you
