As daybreak comes
A Looping Acrostic27 total reviews
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your poem is beautifully written. Each line flows naturally into the next.
The ending is so chilling yet poetic. This is such a moving and deeply felt read! So well done with wonderful word choices.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Your poem is beautifully written. Each line flows naturally into the next.
The ending is so chilling yet poetic. This is such a moving and deeply felt read! So well done with wonderful word choices.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your very encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I must give credit where credit is earned, and I understand the looping acrostic poet in form, but I wouldn't buy a published book of them as there are other forms I would purchase first.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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I must give credit where credit is earned, and I understand the looping acrostic poet in form, but I wouldn't buy a published book of them as there are other forms I would purchase first.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Tom, it is fun trying different stuff, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Wendy G
Hi Kahpot, this is excellent. It's hard enough to do a smoothly flowing and meaningful acrostic, but to combine it with a Loop poem as well, I know that would not be easy. Very well crafted. Quick fix: Adorn with prde (pride) for coming years ...
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Hi Kahpot, this is excellent. It's hard enough to do a smoothly flowing and meaningful acrostic, but to combine it with a Loop poem as well, I know that would not be easy. Very well crafted. Quick fix: Adorn with prde (pride) for coming years ...
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Wendy, for you encouraging comments, and help, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I have to say that this is an impressive piece. Where's an emotionality that is very present and raw. To combine the acrostic and loop here as well without it feeling gimmicky or wrangled is no mean feat. Kudos n that
Kept on tether 'till mind was caged - I think you can lose the apostrophe here as till isn't a contraction. The contraction would only have 1 'L'.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Hi there,
I have to say that this is an impressive piece. Where's an emotionality that is very present and raw. To combine the acrostic and loop here as well without it feeling gimmicky or wrangled is no mean feat. Kudos n that
Kept on tether 'till mind was caged - I think you can lose the apostrophe here as till isn't a contraction. The contraction would only have 1 'L'.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and help, I love learning on this site, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you again for your compassionate poem that makes us focus on the plight of so many victims of wars and the need for them to get the much needed aid.
I enjoyed your signature acrostic looping form which you do so well!
Typos:
As daybreak comes she wares fresh scars (wears)
Restrained by walls bouncing echo's (echoes)
Echo's of hope praying for aid (echoes)
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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you again for your compassionate poem that makes us focus on the plight of so many victims of wars and the need for them to get the much needed aid.
I enjoyed your signature acrostic looping form which you do so well!
Typos:
As daybreak comes she wares fresh scars (wears)
Restrained by walls bouncing echo's (echoes)
Echo's of hope praying for aid (echoes)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Bugger, I thought I had this one, thank you so very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You will get it. Remember that plurals don't have apostrophes - only contractions (it's = it is) and possessives (Carol's pen). Plurals also have various endings other than 's' and 'es' depending on which language the word came from.
Comment from themarfbard_michael
I feel I have to give the six Stars because of the creativity, I enjoyed the flow and how you used the word in the sentence to start the next sentence following the acrostic style
I never endeavored something acrostic clever as this nor come across one like this over written congratulations on it I hope it's in a contest
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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I feel I have to give the six Stars because of the creativity, I enjoyed the flow and how you used the word in the sentence to start the next sentence following the acrostic style
I never endeavored something acrostic clever as this nor come across one like this over written congratulations on it I hope it's in a contest
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you so very much for your wonderful six stars and comments, no, no contest, I find mixing forms helps me understand a bit more about meter and syllable counts, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You’re starting off very well, my friend with rhythm and you definitely have a creative spark, so I’m excited to see what you come through writing in the future
Comment from Lana Marie
I like how you maneuvered this poem and used the last word of your lines for the first word in the next sentence. The story flowed from the beginning to end with a sad under-tone.
Thank you for sharing a non-rhyming writing. Lol
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reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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I like how you maneuvered this poem and used the last word of your lines for the first word in the next sentence. The story flowed from the beginning to end with a sad under-tone.
Thank you for sharing a non-rhyming writing. Lol
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
