An Unexpected Nap
A short story about a Hollywood hopeful with skills26 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
Hi Nolan,
This was a great short fiction story. It was very believable as something that might happen to a person. I'm guessing you found the picture first and then let your imagination run. I loved it!!
Take care,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Hi Nolan,
This was a great short fiction story. It was very believable as something that might happen to a person. I'm guessing you found the picture first and then let your imagination run. I loved it!!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Yes, thank you for your great comments. I appreciate you.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this fictional story with us. It could very real. I could see it happening. I enjoyed reading and you did an excellent job writing it.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Thank you for sharing this fictional story with us. It could very real. I could see it happening. I enjoyed reading and you did an excellent job writing it.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Thank you Barbara. Coming from a great writer of fiction, this is a very encouraging review.
Comment from F. William Lester
Well, Darren was rewarded for his work and his heroism, and the robber was rewarded for his work and stupidity. A just outcome. Forgive me, but the quote, "Break yourself fool!", escapes me. I understand the intent, but the exact meaning of the words is obscured. Thanks for sharing this and have a wonderful Wednesday. Frank
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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Well, Darren was rewarded for his work and his heroism, and the robber was rewarded for his work and stupidity. A just outcome. Forgive me, but the quote, "Break yourself fool!", escapes me. I understand the intent, but the exact meaning of the words is obscured. Thanks for sharing this and have a wonderful Wednesday. Frank
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2025
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The term is very common among some people. It is common among many African Americans, especially black comedians, who imitate certain black robbers.
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Thank you. I appreciate the explanation and will add it to my file of new words and phrases. Happy spring. Have a wonderful day. Frank
Comment from Kirsten Shonle
This is great. It was nice that Darrens skills helped stop the neighborhood thief. I liked the growl. You foreshowed the conclusion of this story very well. IT is a very short story but had all the components needed for a story to come alive.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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This is great. It was nice that Darrens skills helped stop the neighborhood thief. I liked the growl. You foreshowed the conclusion of this story very well. IT is a very short story but had all the components needed for a story to come alive.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thank you so much. I did consider making it longer, but felt the need to practice writing short compact fiction first.
Comment from Pam (respa)
Thanks for sharing the image, notes, and story, nomi. You did a good job describing the events that took place. A very good opening sets the scene, and introduces Darren with his various skill sets. Then he lets us know that the neighborhood is changing, and people are being accosted.
I like how Darren is able to keep his cool and use the skills he has mastered when encountering the robber. After he had helped with this crime, he was able to use his skills in Hollywood. A very good conclusion that shows the impact that Darren's actions had made. Very well done.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thanks for sharing the image, notes, and story, nomi. You did a good job describing the events that took place. A very good opening sets the scene, and introduces Darren with his various skill sets. Then he lets us know that the neighborhood is changing, and people are being accosted.
I like how Darren is able to keep his cool and use the skills he has mastered when encountering the robber. After he had helped with this crime, he was able to use his skills in Hollywood. A very good conclusion that shows the impact that Darren's actions had made. Very well done.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Than you so much. There is great value in being able to maintain your composure and the ability to use what you have to combat evil.
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You are very welcome, and I agree with you about maintaining composure and using what you have to combat evil.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Well done. Well written.
I'm glad that it worked out for your character. But why did he disappear?Modesty is good, but the police become suspicious of what they can't control.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Well done. Well written.
I'm glad that it worked out for your character. But why did he disappear?Modesty is good, but the police become suspicious of what they can't control.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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I guess he was just shy. Thank you for your review comments.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fun story about a crime that turned the tables here. Criminals will disguise their identity but these days with DNA and cameras on every street corner, the criminal is often discovered and punished. I enjoyed your inventive story here, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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A fun story about a crime that turned the tables here. Criminals will disguise their identity but these days with DNA and cameras on every street corner, the criminal is often discovered and punished. I enjoyed your inventive story here, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thank you Dolly. It is always a pleasure to hear from you and to read your output and your input.
Comment from Wendy G
A clever and novel way to defend himself, and trick the robber and cause him to be captured and punished. It is sad that the robber tried to impersonate the speech of a black person in order to distract people from truly identifying him, but also for tarnishing the reputation of good black people. Prejudice and racism, either by the robber or his victims always upset me. Well told story.
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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A clever and novel way to defend himself, and trick the robber and cause him to be captured and punished. It is sad that the robber tried to impersonate the speech of a black person in order to distract people from truly identifying him, but also for tarnishing the reputation of good black people. Prejudice and racism, either by the robber or his victims always upset me. Well told story.
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thank you Wendy. Criminals sometimes, ofttimes sink to low levels to avoid detection and capture.
Comment from lyenochka
Hooray for Darren! I'm always happy to read about such quiet heroes who can use their skills to protect the community. As for that robber, shame on him to try to impersonate a Black person as too many police officers tend to presume guilt of a Black person without any evidence!
Well told flash fiction. I wish it were in one of the contests. Virtual six!
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Hooray for Darren! I'm always happy to read about such quiet heroes who can use their skills to protect the community. As for that robber, shame on him to try to impersonate a Black person as too many police officers tend to presume guilt of a Black person without any evidence!
Well told flash fiction. I wish it were in one of the contests. Virtual six!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2025
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Thank you my dear friend. Approval from you is like a warm hug and a kiss on the cheek. Highly valued and appreciated.
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💖💖
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This has such a fun energy to it! Darren is a great character! The way he outsmarts the robber is so clever and so enjoyable to read. The ending ties everything together nicely. I love how Darren finds success and the robber left haunted by his mistake. Well done!
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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This has such a fun energy to it! Darren is a great character! The way he outsmarts the robber is so clever and so enjoyable to read. The ending ties everything together nicely. I love how Darren finds success and the robber left haunted by his mistake. Well done!
Comment Written 18-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 18-Mar-2025
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Thank you. It was a fun write.
