As daybreak comes
A Looping Acrostic27 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This acrostic loop poem, AS DAYBREAK COMES, has the proper vertical formatting and seems to portray the young woman who still dreams of a freedom which is not her present state.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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This acrostic loop poem, AS DAYBREAK COMES, has the proper vertical formatting and seems to portray the young woman who still dreams of a freedom which is not her present state.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Bill, I enjoy trying this form, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from CM Pickard
First off, I can tell you've practiced this. I think you've picked the right words to start and end each line to complete the loop while maintaining the acrostic format. That alone is an excellent effort. I did get a bit stuck on one line (Open and free past memories) as it seemed to conflict with the rest of the stanza - on first read at least. A second read out loud made it clearer so maybe it was just me. Great effort.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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First off, I can tell you've practiced this. I think you've picked the right words to start and end each line to complete the loop while maintaining the acrostic format. That alone is an excellent effort. I did get a bit stuck on one line (Open and free past memories) as it seemed to conflict with the rest of the stanza - on first read at least. A second read out loud made it clearer so maybe it was just me. Great effort.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2025
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Thank you so very much, I was stuck on that line, tossed up between
open and free-open to free, and a few other options, might have got a bit lazy by then, an excellent review, many thanks****kahpot
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Kym
This is a well done mixture of acrostic and loop. Its smooth meter tells a sad story that shows the abuse damages the mind and the body. It lowers self-esteem and hope. This sometimes leads to suicide.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Enjoy the rest of the day and week.
Joan
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Hi Kym
This is a well done mixture of acrostic and loop. Its smooth meter tells a sad story that shows the abuse damages the mind and the body. It lowers self-esteem and hope. This sometimes leads to suicide.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Enjoy the rest of the day and week.
Joan
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Joan, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are most kindly welcome, Kym.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You have mastered that so well, Kahpot. An acrostic on it's own is hard enough, but to merge it with the loop form, has to be even harder. I must try one of those. This one of yours is so sad and it happens far too often. I hate to think of children not being allowed to be children but are dragged into something that should never be. Well done. A wonderul poem that highlights the plight of too many children. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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You have mastered that so well, Kahpot. An acrostic on it's own is hard enough, but to merge it with the loop form, has to be even harder. I must try one of those. This one of yours is so sad and it happens far too often. I hate to think of children not being allowed to be children but are dragged into something that should never be. Well done. A wonderul poem that highlights the plight of too many children. Sandra xx
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Sandra, yes, it does happen far too often, and you should try, I think it is a fun and challenging form, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from royowen
Oh yes, there are some kids that are not allowed to live a normal life because of the misfortune Of bring born in an inconvenient time and place, abuse can carry many forms, and it's a true travesty, beautifully written Kahpot, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Oh yes, there are some kids that are not allowed to live a normal life because of the misfortune Of bring born in an inconvenient time and place, abuse can carry many forms, and it's a true travesty, beautifully written Kahpot, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Roy, for your most understanding and encouraging comments, and shiny six star, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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Good job
Comment from mermaids
There are feelings and emotions in your words. Excellent acrostic and loop form that adds to the strength of your theme. "Caged in dreams she cannot open" is a powerful line that shows the impact of abuse. Your words give a voice to the victims of abuse.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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There are feelings and emotions in your words. Excellent acrostic and loop form that adds to the strength of your theme. "Caged in dreams she cannot open" is a powerful line that shows the impact of abuse. Your words give a voice to the victims of abuse.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Well done! You address an important issue within an acrostic loop poetry style that is hard to do. I tip off my hat to you. The artwork is stunning and shows a young woman lying down with scars on her body. Each word you start with is important and leads to the next meaningful word which speaks about the abuse that happens too often in this country and the world in general.
This is well-written and shouts out to the community of women who are abused way too much.
Jesse
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Well done! You address an important issue within an acrostic loop poetry style that is hard to do. I tip off my hat to you. The artwork is stunning and shows a young woman lying down with scars on her body. Each word you start with is important and leads to the next meaningful word which speaks about the abuse that happens too often in this country and the world in general.
This is well-written and shouts out to the community of women who are abused way too much.
Jesse
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Jesse, for these most encouraging comments, and wonderful stars, yes, it is an important subject that badly needs to be looked at, I hope you are well, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from June Sargent
A timely reminder that this kind of abuse has far reaching consequences. It can start at a young age and leave scars that fester and really heal. Let's not close our eyes to it.
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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A timely reminder that this kind of abuse has far reaching consequences. It can start at a young age and leave scars that fester and really heal. Let's not close our eyes to it.
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Kahpot,
You are quite talented to do an acrostic and a loop poem at the same time. This poem is quite sad and you are right to much of this abuse goes on.
Well done
Cecilia
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Kahpot,
You are quite talented to do an acrostic and a loop poem at the same time. This poem is quite sad and you are right to much of this abuse goes on.
Well done
Cecilia
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Cecilia, for your encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You're welcome
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
An acrostic and loop all rolled into one here. Your inventive poem is clever and well constructed in this story of domestic abuse, a skilful post, love Dolly x x x x
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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An acrostic and loop all rolled into one here. Your inventive poem is clever and well constructed in this story of domestic abuse, a skilful post, love Dolly x x x x
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 11-Feb-2025
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Thank you, Dolly, for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
