Reviews from

This Time - That Time 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "It's Time For Plan B!"
Third book in the time travel trilogy

30 total reviews 
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent
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Ohhh, I do believe I know what is going to befall the most pompous of all Venormous Asps!! I hope I am right! How cool to have Sir Winston Churchill in your book, Sandra!!! Wow! xo

 Comment Written 29-Jun-2019


reply by the author on 30-Jun-2019
    I had to bring Churchill into the story, being the man in overall charge of the war and the Admiralty I had to have Charles meet him to discuss the plans. One has to do these things, doesn't one? LOL xxxx
reply by Rachelle Allen on 30-Jun-2019
    Absolutely!! You would have been downright REMISS had you not! xo
Comment from l.raven
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Sandra, so why shouldn't Mildred have a husband and children...maybe because she's dead...I'm telling you...all she can look forward to is a bunch of little Casper's... I know I read this...just not sure why I didn't review it...

I hope the powers give her a way to be with Tommy...either he has to bite the bullet...or she has to come back reincarnated...woe is me....

this is one of your best chapters my sweet friend...even though we both know I love them all...and what an ending...Winston Churchill...the girls can do some real damage here...just hand him a note...love this one sweet girl...the next one should be very interesting...love you much sweet angel...always in my thoughts...Linda xxoo

I am so sorry I didn't review this one you...things are crazy for me...John ended back up in the hospital...pneumonia...and they have been giving this poor man such a run around with his new legs...next 4 weeks...over and over...and I am trying to get ready to go to Florida...and I lost so much weight...19 pounds...fast...and I didn't have 19 pounds to lose...nothing is fitting...and I refuse to go buy all new clothes...I have so many of them...and yes I do sew...but I don't have the energy...I got so weak from the hospital stay...be I guess I could take in a few pairs of pants...and buy a belt...LOL...but I will say the last couple days I have felt better...my physical therapy lady is working on different things with me...I told her I lost my bum bum (butt)...and I want it back...or some of it...LOL...she just laughed...said she would tell me how to tighten it up...LOL...so I haven't review much at all...I got John back home now...so I finally have an evening I can sit...I haven't forgotten you Sandra...you and Ian are always in my thoughts...much love to you always my sweet friend...Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 16-May-2019


reply by the author on 17-May-2019
    Goodness me, Linda! You go careful, you are not allowed to be ill any more, and you've got to go to Florida! You've lost 19 pounds??? I can give you some back if you want, I'm sure they were delivered to my body just recently!!! Definitely went on my butt, so at least you know where to find it!! lol. Not funny really. You have to look after yourself, my friend, you are always so caring to others, you sometimes forget yourself. Noah doesn't want a stick-insect for a nanna, he needs someone with a bit of meat on to cuddle up to.
    I'm sorry to hear about John, it's a bummer. It's just the same here. Ian went back for his new feet because the last ones, and the ones before, and the ones before the ones before, didnt' fit, they were too small. Yesterday, he went back AGAIN, and they are too big!
    Fortunately, he still has a little bit of his sense of humour left. He needs it, too.

    Thank you for the lovely review, my sweet friend. The answers to your questions about Mildred are coming up soon. I'm sending a big warm, healing hug, kingsize so you can share it with John. Love you always, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
reply by l.raven on 17-May-2019
    LOL you, I want to gain some back...just a few pounds...but right where I want them...LOL...I am doing better...and know matter what...I keep on trucking...just a touch slower...LOL...John sounded better yesterday...after the tornato warning was over...he goes in the closet with his dog...and I stand on the road looking for them...LOL...

    I am so sorry for Ian...John is going through the same thing...I feel so sorry for them both...but I'm glad Ian still has a sense of humor...God Bless them both...xxoo

    and you are so very welcome beautiful lady...always ...love bunches...and loads of hugs...xxoo
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-A very good chapter, Sandra,
that develops the plot well.
-There is the concern about Mildred,
and how saddened she is about the
possible outcome of continuing
her friendship with Tommy:
"I just dunno who I am anymore."
-Ver. shows her love and compassion
by giving Mildred some good advice.
-Time will tell how that works out.
-The second half of the chapter
shows the plotting of Ver. and
Gladys in Charles's office.
-They continue to find ways to
discredit him, especially in front of
superiors, evidenced by the drawing
on King George's picture.
-The ending is excellent, and we
wait to see what the outcome
of this situation will be!



 Comment Written 08-May-2019


reply by the author on 08-May-2019
    Thank you so very much, Pam, for this fabulous review. It is time to sort out the V Asp, which is what the whole story has been leading up to. (I took the scenic route! lol) I'm so pleased you liked this part, and thank you so much for the golden array of beautiful stars! You are such a lovely friend. Biggest hugs, :)) Sandra xx
reply by Pam (respa) on 08-May-2019
    You are very welcome and deserving, Sandra. I guess it's time to take the more direct route🙂
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hello Sandra,
Another interesting chapter in the never ending tangle of time travel.
Is there a way? Hmmm...

I don't see how Mildred can stay in the past,
without disrupting all of the future.
But one of my problem solving techniques is to always consider the opposite. So, how about Tommy traveling to the future?
He'd have a lot of adjusting to do, and he'd have to get used to living with a Zombie, but it could be a great story. lol

Now, back to this story.
I was wondering when Winston would appear.
Leave it to Sandra to have him show up just when King George
is adorned with new spectacles.
Charles will be fuming.
Winston will probably tell himself he needs to cut back on the whiskey or have another one.

This chapter is as smooth a scotch, to quote the First Lord of the Admiralty.
Well done.
Robert

 Comment Written 08-May-2019


reply by the author on 08-May-2019
    You come up with some brilliant ideas, Robert, in fact, I think I'll use that for another story. Tommy would be sent to the future, but, of course, he will have aged, so he'll be about 104 when he gets there, and Mildred will have been on her 29th life, and come back again as a 21 year old. Naturally, if they get married, Mildred will want children, but they will also be born old, so yes, I can see a great story in there somewhere!! LOL.
    Thank you so much for the 6 stars, and this brilliant review. Hmm, Scotch, can I call it whisky? I hope so because that's what Churchill is drinking in the next part. Or at least, trying to!! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rama devi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

* There was none of the bright cheerfulness they'd shared with each other before they went for their stroll.

A bit wordy. Maybe try:

The bright cheerfulness they'd shared before had disappeared before thier stroll.

(it is also an apt place for a simile):

The bright cheerfulness they'd shared before had disappeared before thier stroll, as if the sun hid behind dense clouds.

* on closer inspection I could see his eyes were shadowed with concern.

COULD SEE is weak voicing for a verb. Try NOTICED

*His arm was curled in a gentle manner around Mildred's waist with his hand resting on her hip.

why is WAS there? That is passive. Simple HIS ARM CURLED would be better.

* The story was quite different when I studied Mildred's expression.

Also wordy. Maybe try:

Mildred's expression revealed a different story.

If yu want STUDIED in there, then

Upon scrutiny, Mildred's expression revealed a different story.

* It was obvious she had sensed my eyes penetrating her façade(,) because she turned away.



*He turned to face Mildred, and(,) putting his fingers under her chin, (he) tilted it up so he could look into her eyes. "You promise me you'll go and rest for a while?"


*
"Don't you start worrying about that," he told her with an affectionate smile.

HE TOLD HER is not needed. A simple action tag suffices, as the reader already know from context whom he is talking to.

Example:

"Don't you start worrying about that." He threw her an affectionate smile.

* "Look after her for me(,) will you, Aunt? She can be quite stubborn when she wants to be."

* It was obvious by her discreet nod that she wanted to talk, so I followed her up to her room.

Maybe trim and tighten to:

Her discreet nod told me she wanted to talk, so I followed her up to her room.


I noticed much of the dialog lacks contractions. I suggest inserting them in most cases. Here is one example:

"Look, if there is any way this can happen, we'll find it.



"Look, if there's any way this can happen, we'll find it.



The feedback for the rest of the story is all similar to the above. Since I am ill with a cold and my energy is waning, I'll just sum up:

*
watch out for passive voicing
*
try to find stronger verbs
*
trim and tighten wordy passages


Otherwise, the characterization, plot, descriptive detail and pacing are all excellent! Pacing would be superb if you trim and tighten.


What fun making mischief with the portrait-art. He he he

And what a fantastic closing! Wheeeee~!

Five stars in advance...
Love,
rd

 Comment Written 08-May-2019


reply by the author on 08-May-2019
    I'm so sorry to hear you aren't feeling well, Rama, I hope you recover soon. Colds can hang around when you don't look after yourself, so keep well wrapped up and don't forget to eat.

    It's late here, but I just wanted to thank you now for this really helpful review, I'll go over it properly in the morning as you have put in some very helpful remarks and I want to do them justice. Thank you again, my friend. Good night and God bless. Sandra xx
reply by rama devi on 08-May-2019
    😀😀😀 Thank you, dear!!!! Will do.

    Good night and God bless. rd
    xxoo
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Poor Mildred, what will happen. I don't know if I would want to stay in that time period without microwaves, or TV's, I have to watch, "Spring Championship Baker" and all the other baking competitions. I can't cook so I live vicariously thru others. =} Now it will get interesting with Mr. Churchill on the scene. Well done as always dear. Rox

 Comment Written 08-May-2019


reply by the author on 08-May-2019
    Thank you, Rox. Mildred never did like the modern contraption thingies, as she puts it, so she'd be fine. I used to cook a lot, especially for my late husband. Then it was just for my boys, and when they grew up I remarried and, guess what? No, wrong!! Graham is the chef here, I haven't cooked anything for 29 years! (apart from cakes, he can't make cakes! lol. He just loved to cook. Lot's happening in the next part. Thanks again, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from sandragee
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Whenever she had a problem, the always resilient Mildred has come up with a solution for it. But her relationship with Tommy has left her confused about her life. She can't say 'yes' to Tommy because she says, "I's not normal."
"Look, if there is anyway this can happen, we'll find it," Veronica tells her friend. These two ladies are relentless. If there is a way out of this situation, I have no doubt that Veronica and Mildred will find it.
Another excellent chapter about the time-travellers.

 Comment Written 08-May-2019


reply by the author on 08-May-2019
    Thank you so very much for another one of your wonderful reviews, Sandra. You are always so encouraging and I do so appreciate you. :)) Sending a big hug. Sandra xxxx
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Winston Churchill! I can't wait to see what's going to happen next. My heart goes out to Mildred. This is a good write.


"I'm not going to lie to you. Mildred. (a comma needed after you, not a period)

 Comment Written 07-May-2019


reply by the author on 08-May-2019
    Thank you so much for the lovely six stars, my friend. Churchill and Charles will 'enjoy' their meeting in Charles' office!! Big hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from wordsfromsue
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I love this chapter!!

Fun, light in parts, worrisome in others, and the silly shenanigans of Gladys and Veronica were a nice touch. :-)

Wow, I love the last line! How in shock Veronica and Gladys must have been at the sight of Churchill.

 Comment Written 07-May-2019


reply by the author on 07-May-2019
    What a lovely review, thank you so much, Sue. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part, knowing you belong to a book club and discuss different aspects of each book, I'm doubly over the moon with your comments. AND, thank you for the cherry on the top with all the gold stars!! Sending a big hug, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment from SLMorrical
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A wonderful chapter to the story. I wonder why can't Mildred have a relationship with Tommy? Veronica has her husband and children, so why not. Plan B may have to be Plan C. The first thing I thought of was OH NO Winston Churchill. This flows well, and it is a wonderful flow from the last chapter. Well done.

 Comment Written 07-May-2019


reply by the author on 07-May-2019
    Mildred is a time traveller, and she comes from 1996, they are in 1915 at the moment so it would be up to the powers-that-be whether they could sanction such a relationship. But, Veronica is not going to let her friend give up on the idea. At the moment they have to stop the Vice Admiral making changes with the location of the famous sea battle at Jutland, and changing everyone's future. Lots of fun coming up. :)) Thank you so much for this fabulous review, Sandra, I'm really pleased you enjoyed it. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx