The Other Side
Story in a Poem38 total reviews
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Love this full flowing, un-abridged poem. The word choices and far too clever rhymes made me laugh out loud. As always, the rhyme scheme and the meter are perfect. The story, funny futility at its most absurd, is delightful. Bravo once again, to my favorite poet. - Wendy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
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Love this full flowing, un-abridged poem. The word choices and far too clever rhymes made me laugh out loud. As always, the rhyme scheme and the meter are perfect. The story, funny futility at its most absurd, is delightful. Bravo once again, to my favorite poet. - Wendy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2019
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Wendy, thanks so much for the lovely review and the six shiny stars. You must be REALLY behind if you are just getting to this poem now.
The premise for the story is actually true. We did live across a river and we did have to walk a plank to get to our house, and there were occasional accidents in doing so. The rest of the yarn may be, shall we say, slightly exaggerated.
If you want another laugh, check out the review for this that came in just before yours - a fine example of having no clue!
Steve
Comment from nuzhatshireen
Powerful writing on hunger subject. I see daily that Afghani children search for food in garbage. They are the victim of the war in their country. Recently many Syrian children lost their lives when fleeing from their country. Maybe the poet has taken the theme of the poem from there.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Powerful writing on hunger subject. I see daily that Afghani children search for food in garbage. They are the victim of the war in their country. Recently many Syrian children lost their lives when fleeing from their country. Maybe the poet has taken the theme of the poem from there.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2019
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Thanks for the review. I am afraid you have read more into the poem than intended - really it was just a piece of fun, intended for a laugh.
However, I do have immense sympathy for the plight of the poverty-stricken and to refugees wherever they may be. Recent events in Syria have driven many thousands mor to desperation.
Steve
Comment from Jo.G
Loved this poem, it rhymed so well. I loved the humour, even though a tad sad in toward the end. I loved that one could laugh at oneself. I loved the simple solution to the problem. Well done.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Loved this poem, it rhymed so well. I loved the humour, even though a tad sad in toward the end. I loved that one could laugh at oneself. I loved the simple solution to the problem. Well done.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2019
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2019
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Jo, thanks for the lovely review and a big welcome to FanStory - I hope you like it here.
Feel free to pop into my portfolio and rummage around when and if you have the time. You might have to fossick a bit, but you will find plenty of other poems in this style.
Steve
Comment from Patty Palmer
I loved this! She was quite the saucy girl who seemed to have her two cents in everything. I was surprised how in the end she surmised to the waves and drowned. Yep they should used the neighbor's bridge!
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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I loved this! She was quite the saucy girl who seemed to have her two cents in everything. I was surprised how in the end she surmised to the waves and drowned. Yep they should used the neighbor's bridge!
Comment Written 24-May-2019
reply by the author on 25-May-2019
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Thanks, Patricia. We really did have to 'walk the plank' to get to our house when I was young. I may have exaggerated the rest of it just a little!
Steve
Comment from Lil' Mormon Boy
Super, Duper, 'twas all well done.
Love the story, the rhyme, the metre.
Too bad she met her fate that way,
Must be the plan of old St. Peter.
To die upon the jagged rocks,
With her head beneath the brook
Like so many of the countless foe;
Having good sense, is all it took.
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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Super, Duper, 'twas all well done.
Love the story, the rhyme, the metre.
Too bad she met her fate that way,
Must be the plan of old St. Peter.
To die upon the jagged rocks,
With her head beneath the brook
Like so many of the countless foe;
Having good sense, is all it took.
Comment Written 21-May-2019
reply by the author on 21-May-2019
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Thanks for the fun review!
No writing posted under your name - what gives?
Steve
Comment from Pearl Edwards
What a great tale you've told Steve of this swift foaming river that swallows up all who are brave enough to try crossing this spindly bridge. Great finish with the hindsight from heaven.
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2019
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What a great tale you've told Steve of this swift foaming river that swallows up all who are brave enough to try crossing this spindly bridge. Great finish with the hindsight from heaven.
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 19-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Valda. And some of it is true! Well, the first two lines...
Steve
Comment from WildWithWords
A really REALLY cool and fun ditty with a great fun ending.
As soon as Tom, Dick and Harry got involved I knew someone's tongue was firmly planted in his cheek. And so it came to pass.
Bill (WildWithWords)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2019
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A really REALLY cool and fun ditty with a great fun ending.
As soon as Tom, Dick and Harry got involved I knew someone's tongue was firmly planted in his cheek. And so it came to pass.
Bill (WildWithWords)
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2019
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Thank you, WWW
Destined for immortality those three! Oh, no, that can't be right - I killed them. Lost count of the drownings in this one, but it was all in the sake of fun.
Steve
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a great story within a well written poem and I enjoyed the ride, the rhymes, the rhythm and the sentiments, I wish you luck with the contest, this is a winner for me, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2019
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This is a great story within a well written poem and I enjoyed the ride, the rhymes, the rhythm and the sentiments, I wish you luck with the contest, this is a winner for me, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2019
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Thanks, Dolly. This was one of those poems that just pour out of the pen - practically wrote itself.
Steve
Comment from coffeeandink
It foes, bring thoughts of a sailors poem, i have read cowboy literature, and this is that of a sailor, the words are those of a navigator. I enjoyed you poem, from tossed upon a rock to we should of used the sidewalk. A beautiful poem. With humor actoss a storm. Well written.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2019
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It foes, bring thoughts of a sailors poem, i have read cowboy literature, and this is that of a sailor, the words are those of a navigator. I enjoyed you poem, from tossed upon a rock to we should of used the sidewalk. A beautiful poem. With humor actoss a storm. Well written.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2019
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Thanks for reviewing.
Steve
Comment from phill doran
Hello Steve
The six is for "hafter".
This is a really well executed piece: it has great pace - a real 'ripping yarn', if not a gripping one too.
The style is clever and easy on the reader and I was drawn in to the beat within a few lines. I can only assume Norm charges.
I am really impressed with this - light, but actually you hide a great technical achievement behind that light surface. You have had/will have a big response with the payout(!) but it will win regardless - or should. This would be a pleasure to read for 2c...
I wish you well
cheers
phill
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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Hello Steve
The six is for "hafter".
This is a really well executed piece: it has great pace - a real 'ripping yarn', if not a gripping one too.
The style is clever and easy on the reader and I was drawn in to the beat within a few lines. I can only assume Norm charges.
I am really impressed with this - light, but actually you hide a great technical achievement behind that light surface. You have had/will have a big response with the payout(!) but it will win regardless - or should. This would be a pleasure to read for 2c...
I wish you well
cheers
phill
Comment Written 15-Jan-2019
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2019
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You mean I coulda just tole people they hafter give me a six?!
Yes, I liked the 'beat' as well - it's filched from a poem by Tennyson - not known for his frivolous and lighthearted stuff.
Anyway, thanks very much for the fine review and the six stars. As for the win, I'll wait and see. I've just picked up a win for my first offering of the year, so it might be tempting fate to ask lightning to strike twice.
Steve