Songs
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Fire Before Smoke"Song lyrics with music attached
8 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Very well-written song lyrics. In your second verse you mention smoke before fire. I am not sure ifvit is a mistake or is it suppose to be like that. The rest of the poem is all about the fire before the smoke. (Just wondering).
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Very well-written song lyrics. In your second verse you mention smoke before fire. I am not sure ifvit is a mistake or is it suppose to be like that. The rest of the poem is all about the fire before the smoke. (Just wondering).
Comment Written 02-Sep-2017
Comment from sandielee
Opps... spelling error in first sentence. I figure it should be me and not my. Not sure if the comma is necessary as well. It's kinda dark and I think there is probably a following for this. Too dark and deep for my pleasure though I do like the line, "I don't require, I don't inquire." I wish you good luck.
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Opps... spelling error in first sentence. I figure it should be me and not my. Not sure if the comma is necessary as well. It's kinda dark and I think there is probably a following for this. Too dark and deep for my pleasure though I do like the line, "I don't require, I don't inquire." I wish you good luck.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
Comment from rjuselius
lol.this is an interesting set of lyrics dear anonymous! i think they are very clever and you definitely succeed in making them entertaining. bravo my friend.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
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lol.this is an interesting set of lyrics dear anonymous! i think they are very clever and you definitely succeed in making them entertaining. bravo my friend.
thank you for sharing!
good luck!
blessings and a big squeeze!
rebekka x
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
Comment from nbonner
Smoke should definitely come before the fire hence you get burned out way to fast. I don't think I know this song but you're version is well written. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest
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Smoke should definitely come before the fire hence you get burned out way to fast. I don't think I know this song but you're version is well written. Thank you for sharing and best wishes in the contest
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
Comment from PoemsOfDD
This is an interesting entry for the Lyrics make the Song contest. I have to be honest - these lyrics got me thinking lots of things... two people wanting to get hot and heavy - someone with either a cold and is 'wheezing' (last line of the SPOKEN part) which made me giggle or has the person inhaled too much smoke from the 'smoke before the fire smoke before the fire - a wannabe arsonist who still needs lessons on getting a good burn on. I was confused but entertained at the same time. It didn't help that I was going 'country n western' and throwing in a rap..lol. I had fun so thanks for the read and good luck. ~DD
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This is an interesting entry for the Lyrics make the Song contest. I have to be honest - these lyrics got me thinking lots of things... two people wanting to get hot and heavy - someone with either a cold and is 'wheezing' (last line of the SPOKEN part) which made me giggle or has the person inhaled too much smoke from the 'smoke before the fire smoke before the fire - a wannabe arsonist who still needs lessons on getting a good burn on. I was confused but entertained at the same time. It didn't help that I was going 'country n western' and throwing in a rap..lol. I had fun so thanks for the read and good luck. ~DD
Comment Written 01-Sep-2017
Comment from nordicgirl
Yes, just looking at the lyrics, it would be hard to imagine tis as a song. BUT, I happen to know you do this all the time. Too bad you can`t add the music. You will after. Yes? Still, interesting lyrics. I see a definite pattern. Looks like a song to me and in your hands, I am sure it rocks. NG
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Yes, just looking at the lyrics, it would be hard to imagine tis as a song. BUT, I happen to know you do this all the time. Too bad you can`t add the music. You will after. Yes? Still, interesting lyrics. I see a definite pattern. Looks like a song to me and in your hands, I am sure it rocks. NG
Comment Written 31-Aug-2017
Comment from royowen
A nicely written lyrical piece. I was wondering when your author notes said the lyrics fitted the music, which music? Some of the lyrics need to fit repetitively, such as verse, chorus, bridge etc, to make it recognisable as a song. But well done, the verse is well written, and you have some repetition in these fine lyrics to distinguish it. Well done, I'm trying to be helpful, not discourage, good luck, blessings, Roy
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A nicely written lyrical piece. I was wondering when your author notes said the lyrics fitted the music, which music? Some of the lyrics need to fit repetitively, such as verse, chorus, bridge etc, to make it recognisable as a song. But well done, the verse is well written, and you have some repetition in these fine lyrics to distinguish it. Well done, I'm trying to be helpful, not discourage, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 31-Aug-2017
Comment from Nancylister
I liked the imagery, but the message was a little vague. This read like a memory of a past love or experience, not sure. There was one spell error that takes your mind off the poem just long enough to do harm. I applaud every writer doing this. This is such a personal journey, for all of us. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was ten. I waited almost twenty years before starting. That's smoke before fire.
nls
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I liked the imagery, but the message was a little vague. This read like a memory of a past love or experience, not sure. There was one spell error that takes your mind off the poem just long enough to do harm. I applaud every writer doing this. This is such a personal journey, for all of us. I knew I wanted to be a writer when I was ten. I waited almost twenty years before starting. That's smoke before fire.
nls
Comment Written 31-Aug-2017