Migration
Moving from fixed form to free verse (see note)31 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem tells us that sometimes we forget the beauty of creation and the faith and hope we were given to live within it. We need to be thankful and look towards the end and know we were part of the beauty and love.
Congrats on placing in the poem of the month contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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This poem tells us that sometimes we forget the beauty of creation and the faith and hope we were given to live within it. We need to be thankful and look towards the end and know we were part of the beauty and love.
Congrats on placing in the poem of the month contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 07-May-2017
reply by the author on 07-May-2017
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Very many thanks for taking the time to read and review this one, Joan. Appreciated! Tony
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No problem, Tony.
Joan
Comment from Pearl Edwards
The three of them are all lovely reads Tony, and I really like the beginning lines of the Blank Verse, but for me I think the Free Verse wins out. I think the emotions flow more readily in free verse. Great read,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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The three of them are all lovely reads Tony, and I really like the beginning lines of the Blank Verse, but for me I think the Free Verse wins out. I think the emotions flow more readily in free verse. Great read,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 05-May-2017
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read all three and to respond. Appreciated! Tony
Comment from jlsavell
Tony,
Well, this is a wonderful surprise! 3 incredible verses in one post. Your ability to weave the same poetic sentiment in different form is truly a tour de force. Your exceptional skill and talent shies brightly in the halls of Fanstory. Beautiful. Bravo..
your fan
jimi
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Tony,
Well, this is a wonderful surprise! 3 incredible verses in one post. Your ability to weave the same poetic sentiment in different form is truly a tour de force. Your exceptional skill and talent shies brightly in the halls of Fanstory. Beautiful. Bravo..
your fan
jimi
Comment Written 04-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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What a lovely thing to say, Jimi. Thank you so much. Thanks, too, for the six star award. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Spitfire
I think the free verse works best. You clearly know where to stop and start a thought for maximum effect. The three part division makes the comparison clearer for me.
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
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I think the free verse works best. You clearly know where to stop and start a thought for maximum effect. The three part division makes the comparison clearer for me.
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 03-May-2017
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Thanks, Shari, both for the review and the six stars. The free verse arose from the other versions. They made good building blocks for it, to give it more structure and poetic intent. I appreciate your comments. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Appropriate image and ambitious
author notes, Tony.
-A very well penned poem with
each verse having excellent imagery
and progression of thoughts about migration.
-I like these lines
"Though the body's withered,
the spirit it contains
seems animate"
-Thanks for sharing your poem.
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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-Appropriate image and ambitious
author notes, Tony.
-A very well penned poem with
each verse having excellent imagery
and progression of thoughts about migration.
-I like these lines
"Though the body's withered,
the spirit it contains
seems animate"
-Thanks for sharing your poem.
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Once again, very many thanks for your kind words and six stars. Always appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
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You are very welcome and deserving, Tony.
An excellent poem.
Comment from rspoet
Hello Tony,
You poem is an excellent demonstration of the power and beauty of free verse.
Ironic, since so many on FS only like rhymed poetry and some only "happy" rhymed poetry.
The difference here is that in free verse, the imagery is empowered
and the poem has its own internal rhythm,
as if the poet is casually speaking to or with us.
To my ear, this releases the poem and lets it soar, or flutter on butterfly wings.
The constraints of meter and rhyme, which sometimes introduce artificiality, are not present.
Each form has its own strengths relating to topic and the intent of the poet.
I love the transition you have from the butterfly migration to the spiritual migration.
I think you made the correct choice in posting the free verse.
Well done
RS
Below is a link to some Mary Oliver poems in case you haven't read her work.
http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/maryoliver.html
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hello Tony,
You poem is an excellent demonstration of the power and beauty of free verse.
Ironic, since so many on FS only like rhymed poetry and some only "happy" rhymed poetry.
The difference here is that in free verse, the imagery is empowered
and the poem has its own internal rhythm,
as if the poet is casually speaking to or with us.
To my ear, this releases the poem and lets it soar, or flutter on butterfly wings.
The constraints of meter and rhyme, which sometimes introduce artificiality, are not present.
Each form has its own strengths relating to topic and the intent of the poet.
I love the transition you have from the butterfly migration to the spiritual migration.
I think you made the correct choice in posting the free verse.
Well done
RS
Below is a link to some Mary Oliver poems in case you haven't read her work.
http://peacefulrivers.homestead.com/maryoliver.html
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you so much for this review, RS, and for the six-star award. These always mean a lot to me coming from you. It's been interesting discussing free verse with Jim and reading up a bit more about it. I rather agree, that as the rhythms and rhymes are used to support the meaning rather than just to comply with the form, free verse can give them wings. Thanks, too, for the link to Mary Oliver's poems. I'm not sure if it was you or someone else on FS that introduced me to her poetry last year. I have several books of it now, either in hard copy or on Kindle. She really is a marvellous poet. Reading her work has not only given me great pleasure, but also taught me a good deal.
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Tony:
I read all three styles with much interest. It isn't often that we get a threefer! :) Since you've specifically asked that we compare the three I will rank them in order of my favorites:
1. The poem in the style of George Herbert
2. Free verse
3. Blank verse
So, this is my favorite:
Wings stilled in death upon the hard cold stone,
but for a gentle breeze
that gives them second life, to tease and turn
the mind to memories
of sage and thyme, and days of summer sighs
when swarms of butterflies,
spiralled to the skies. A kaleidoscope
of fragments, shards of light,
confused the eye with wordless joy and hope,
bedazzled by this sight
of heaven. Thus Christ Jesus rose again
defying grief and pain.
Again the tomb is open and winds impel
subtle resurrection,
reminding us, beyond the tolling bell,
of divine connection,
as spirits will from worldliness migrate,
to gain a higher state.
I bolded my favorite lines, I hope it worked!
Between the other two, the blank verse is so rigid of a form that it didn't allow you to illustrate the free floating butterflies like the free verse did. I enjoyed the first stanza of the free verse poem the most.
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to compare. That speaks volumes to your thought process. It is a wonderful glimpse into your poetic mind. I appreciate you sharing that process with us.
Kim
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Hi Tony:
I read all three styles with much interest. It isn't often that we get a threefer! :) Since you've specifically asked that we compare the three I will rank them in order of my favorites:
1. The poem in the style of George Herbert
2. Free verse
3. Blank verse
So, this is my favorite:
Wings stilled in death upon the hard cold stone,
but for a gentle breeze
that gives them second life, to tease and turn
the mind to memories
of sage and thyme, and days of summer sighs
when swarms of butterflies,
spiralled to the skies. A kaleidoscope
of fragments, shards of light,
confused the eye with wordless joy and hope,
bedazzled by this sight
of heaven. Thus Christ Jesus rose again
defying grief and pain.
Again the tomb is open and winds impel
subtle resurrection,
reminding us, beyond the tolling bell,
of divine connection,
as spirits will from worldliness migrate,
to gain a higher state.
I bolded my favorite lines, I hope it worked!
Between the other two, the blank verse is so rigid of a form that it didn't allow you to illustrate the free floating butterflies like the free verse did. I enjoyed the first stanza of the free verse poem the most.
Thank you for giving us the opportunity to compare. That speaks volumes to your thought process. It is a wonderful glimpse into your poetic mind. I appreciate you sharing that process with us.
Kim
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Very many thanks for your detailed review, Kim. You are the first person to have preferred the short George Herbert inspired poem! I rather liked that one, too! It was the starting point from which the other two arose. In the end, I was quite pleased with the free verse version, but there is much to be said for the discipline of working within a set form.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
Very nice poem you've penned.
Great artwork: The image shown of the beautiful butterfly fits the poem perfectly. The background color blends in well with the image.
The author's notes are even more interesting. They are appreciated. Thank you. I especially like the Blank Verse version.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Very nice poem you've penned.
Great artwork: The image shown of the beautiful butterfly fits the poem perfectly. The background color blends in well with the image.
The author's notes are even more interesting. They are appreciated. Thank you. I especially like the Blank Verse version.
Thanks for sharing.
Good luck with your future writing.
-Nicole-
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Very many thanks, Nikki, for your kind review. Much appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from estory
I loved this. the free verse just rolled and rolled, it was very musically arranged language, and you had some nice melodies in this. The opening stanza had some brilliant images to start this off with a bang. Ghosts of wings, on sage and thyme, swarms of butterflies, in a kalaidascope of color, rising up to the skies. This image of the butterfly is perfect, for the metamorphosis of soul that we make from body to spirit in the poem. We are transformed, through Christ, and come up to heaven like butterflies, beautiful, free, complete and perfect. Beautiful poem estory
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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I loved this. the free verse just rolled and rolled, it was very musically arranged language, and you had some nice melodies in this. The opening stanza had some brilliant images to start this off with a bang. Ghosts of wings, on sage and thyme, swarms of butterflies, in a kalaidascope of color, rising up to the skies. This image of the butterfly is perfect, for the metamorphosis of soul that we make from body to spirit in the poem. We are transformed, through Christ, and come up to heaven like butterflies, beautiful, free, complete and perfect. Beautiful poem estory
Comment Written 02-May-2017
reply by the author on 04-May-2017
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Thank you for your perceptive summary of my poem and for the accolade of six stars. Much appreiated. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Hansel1
A calm of sorts spawns over me during this read. Does religion hold the focal point to most of your work? I have only viewed one other of yours, but there existed an underlying theme of religion there as well. Nothing bad mind you, just engaging in small talk with a fellow artist :)
As the last, I enjoyed this piece as well. The diction found within your poetry is appreciated, as is the tone. Thank you once again for the good read - Cheers!
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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A calm of sorts spawns over me during this read. Does religion hold the focal point to most of your work? I have only viewed one other of yours, but there existed an underlying theme of religion there as well. Nothing bad mind you, just engaging in small talk with a fellow artist :)
As the last, I enjoyed this piece as well. The diction found within your poetry is appreciated, as is the tone. Thank you once again for the good read - Cheers!
Comment Written 01-May-2017
reply by the author on 01-May-2017
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Thank you for another fine review, Hansel. No, I generally steer clear of religious themes, particularly where organised religion is concerned. However, I often have an underlying theme based on my philosophy of life, which draws on the basic tenets of several world religions.