Stranger Danger
The neighbors you know and the neighbors you don't know.50 total reviews
Comment from Day Z Chayn
Seems the only ghosts who would have been afraid of you and your storytelling ought to be the members of your local KKK chapter (why else would they wear bed sheets. Freaking cowards is who the members of the Powers Family were, just like the 'Grand Wizard.' The same thing happened to my sister when some snot-nosed neighbor kids scorched some outside potted plants of hers with a barbeque grill igniter/starter thing. Race was not a motivation here, but stupidity along with spite were.
Ever grateful,
Shane
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2016
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Seems the only ghosts who would have been afraid of you and your storytelling ought to be the members of your local KKK chapter (why else would they wear bed sheets. Freaking cowards is who the members of the Powers Family were, just like the 'Grand Wizard.' The same thing happened to my sister when some snot-nosed neighbor kids scorched some outside potted plants of hers with a barbeque grill igniter/starter thing. Race was not a motivation here, but stupidity along with spite were.
Ever grateful,
Shane
Comment Written 29-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2016
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Oh, thank you, Shane, for your review of my storytelling. I was taken aback that on the scariest night of the year, the real frights were not the costumed witches and warlocks, but my very own neighbors under the cloak of darkness. That wasn't the last time they attempted to set our property on fire. They became too scared to return to our backyard to set the back porch on fire, so they set a bush on fire by the sidewalk. I was watering the lawn at the time. When I saw the bush smoke and then burst into flames, I aimed the hose at it. These two Powers kids darted from behind the burning bush and ran up the block home. I am glad I endured to tell my story. Thank you for your review.
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a very sad story about discriminiation that shouldn't be but still is. It is horrible that a neighbor would burn down another neighbor's house. But it is hopeful that the neighbors you didn't know helped you save most of your house.
The Powers do seem like the most likely suspects. The police could of found fingerprints on the matches to prove that. It is sad though that his has to be the most remembered Halloween.
This well deserved its placing in the contest. Congrats.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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This is a very sad story about discriminiation that shouldn't be but still is. It is horrible that a neighbor would burn down another neighbor's house. But it is hopeful that the neighbors you didn't know helped you save most of your house.
The Powers do seem like the most likely suspects. The police could of found fingerprints on the matches to prove that. It is sad though that his has to be the most remembered Halloween.
This well deserved its placing in the contest. Congrats.
Keep writing
dragonpoet
Comment Written 15-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2016
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Thank you, dragonpoet, for your generous review. Coming on the heels of another story's rejection by a literary journal, your review cheered me and encouraged me to go forward and keep submitting my work.
Yes, what is shocking in this story is not that it happened to me forty years ago, but that it is still happening to others today. I am working on cutting this story down to five minutes for me to perform at storytelling contests.
Thank you also for congratulating me on my second place finish for story of the month. It is much appreciated.
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You are so very welcome. And you are right that it utterlly sad that any kind of discrimation happens still. But that that something so violent does makes it worse.
Joan
Comment from robyn corum
Andre,
I am incensed. And even more so because I am from the South and feel like you might be painting all Southerners with the same hateful brush. Which I could totally understand after your brushes with THESE individuals, but most of us are not like these clowns. I have to believe that, anyway.
I am mortified that children -- CHILDREN! -- would do such things. What a traumatizing event in one's life. Bless your soul for rising above. A great essay!
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Andre,
I am incensed. And even more so because I am from the South and feel like you might be painting all Southerners with the same hateful brush. Which I could totally understand after your brushes with THESE individuals, but most of us are not like these clowns. I have to believe that, anyway.
I am mortified that children -- CHILDREN! -- would do such things. What a traumatizing event in one's life. Bless your soul for rising above. A great essay!
Comment Written 20-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
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Yes, Robyn, children would do such things. Not included in this essay is the incident in which I was watering the front lawn and I suddenly saw a bush near the sidewalk burst into flames. When I aimed the water hose at it, two Powers boys fled down the sidewalk. I agree. The vast array of Southerners are not like THESE individuals. Fear and hatred are found everywhere.
Thank you for your review.
Comment from zatanna
I was drawn in by the title and sub title. the start was very good and then when your character lied about only going to friends houses reminded me how I would lie to my mother so she wouldn't shout at me. Just agree...just agree haha. Very powerful message about hatred too. sadly this is only getting worse and your story is set a long time ago, yet still today abuse, bullying patronising, racism is still rife. Black people, muslims etc.
The end was a oh no moment. The Powers did it!! I reckon it wasnt reported they knew would've believed them. Nasty people manipulate and make you out to be the bad person. Excellent writing.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2016
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I was drawn in by the title and sub title. the start was very good and then when your character lied about only going to friends houses reminded me how I would lie to my mother so she wouldn't shout at me. Just agree...just agree haha. Very powerful message about hatred too. sadly this is only getting worse and your story is set a long time ago, yet still today abuse, bullying patronising, racism is still rife. Black people, muslims etc.
The end was a oh no moment. The Powers did it!! I reckon it wasnt reported they knew would've believed them. Nasty people manipulate and make you out to be the bad person. Excellent writing.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2016
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Yes, zatanna, I find reading and remembering this story disheartening. Although the event happened forty years ago, people are still burning the homes of Blacks and shooting Muslims in our streets. This devastates me. My old news is current news. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your appealing to our sense of smell with the "aroma of dry leaves" and our sense of sound with the repeats of "Pound". Your "bandits" and "chicks" similes along with the lesson at the conclusion are very effective. I hope writing again about this tragic event brought you some solace and helped fill the "black hole". Warm regards- Joan
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
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I admired your appealing to our sense of smell with the "aroma of dry leaves" and our sense of sound with the repeats of "Pound". Your "bandits" and "chicks" similes along with the lesson at the conclusion are very effective. I hope writing again about this tragic event brought you some solace and helped fill the "black hole". Warm regards- Joan
Comment Written 11-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
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Yes, Joan, writing about this tragic event brought me some solace and helped fill the "black hole." The incident has haunted me for over forty years and I made several attempts to write about it. Only when I acknowledged the good neighbors instead of dwelling on the misguided did I find peace. I am glad you admired my appealing story. Thank you for your review.
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Thank you again for reminding us to focus on the positive. Smiles- Joan
Comment from innerworlds
As I've said before, Sis Cat, your stories are so vivid that I'm seeing the images in the words come to life as if in a movie.
This story is filled with so many concepts that are appropriate for both our society today and the ignorance, indifference, and prejudice that was woven into the pleasant fabric of the "good ol' days" of my youth.
Coming from a poor neighborhood was only a minor issue in being accepted as an equal. I didn't have any black kids at my elementary school and had no prejudice against anyone except the kids who made fun of others. My first real awareness that blacks were not included in white social circles came in college, when a very talented violinist in my orchestra asked if I would be interested in dating him. I was. But my mother, who was from Missouri through and through, said I could forget college if I followed through with it. Telling him I couldn't go out with him was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do. And even though there was no prejudice on my part, he knew the routine from a lifetime of rejection.
Your Halloween story spoke of a time when I could roam the neighborhoods without parental supervision, collecting homemade popcorn balls and other non-purchased treats without fear of being poisoned or injured. It spoke of a time when having a gun to carry around wasn't the norm.
But, although some of the prejudice and indifference is very slowly beginning to change, it is still an ugly, ignorant part of our culture.
How you came through those times with such a strong sense of self worth is a miracle in itself. I'm so glad you are reminding all of us that the struggle for equality is still in its primitive stages. Hopefully, the current issues between police and those who suffer from other's ignorance will inch toward better understanding. Thanks for posting this eloquent and touching truth.
And I loved the last line, which recognized that not all people are ignorant and hurtful. Well written.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
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As I've said before, Sis Cat, your stories are so vivid that I'm seeing the images in the words come to life as if in a movie.
This story is filled with so many concepts that are appropriate for both our society today and the ignorance, indifference, and prejudice that was woven into the pleasant fabric of the "good ol' days" of my youth.
Coming from a poor neighborhood was only a minor issue in being accepted as an equal. I didn't have any black kids at my elementary school and had no prejudice against anyone except the kids who made fun of others. My first real awareness that blacks were not included in white social circles came in college, when a very talented violinist in my orchestra asked if I would be interested in dating him. I was. But my mother, who was from Missouri through and through, said I could forget college if I followed through with it. Telling him I couldn't go out with him was one of the most painful things I've ever had to do. And even though there was no prejudice on my part, he knew the routine from a lifetime of rejection.
Your Halloween story spoke of a time when I could roam the neighborhoods without parental supervision, collecting homemade popcorn balls and other non-purchased treats without fear of being poisoned or injured. It spoke of a time when having a gun to carry around wasn't the norm.
But, although some of the prejudice and indifference is very slowly beginning to change, it is still an ugly, ignorant part of our culture.
How you came through those times with such a strong sense of self worth is a miracle in itself. I'm so glad you are reminding all of us that the struggle for equality is still in its primitive stages. Hopefully, the current issues between police and those who suffer from other's ignorance will inch toward better understanding. Thanks for posting this eloquent and touching truth.
And I loved the last line, which recognized that not all people are ignorant and hurtful. Well written.
Comment Written 10-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
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Yes, Innerworlds, I love that last line, too. It makes the story which I have struggled to write for thirty years. Only by acknowledging that there are good people not chained by prejudice that my story gelled together. By desiring to thank and acknowledge them I am able to move forward. It would have been too easy to rant about the people who set fire to my home.
I am humbled that my story impacted reviewers such as you. Even though the incident happened decades ago, my retelling has a message for us today.
Thank you for your generous, six star review which will probably be the last one my story receives before the certificate expires and I perform it at storytelling events and submit it to magazines.
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Having seen your storytelling online, this should send a particulary powerful message. Let me know which magazines publish your work and I'll purchase a copy of each. Wishing you the success you truly deserve.
Comment from humpwhistle
Outstanding storytelling, Sis Cat. Written to be told--orally,
but near-perfect on the page, too. Minor nits that don't effect
the telling at all.
What I admire the most is your ability reveal the thoughtful kid who experienced
this deeply cruel, inhumane injustice, as well as the man who can now talk about it in all its vulgarity with philosophy instead of vitriol.
This is fine work. I hope you continue to tell it to rousing approval.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
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Outstanding storytelling, Sis Cat. Written to be told--orally,
but near-perfect on the page, too. Minor nits that don't effect
the telling at all.
What I admire the most is your ability reveal the thoughtful kid who experienced
this deeply cruel, inhumane injustice, as well as the man who can now talk about it in all its vulgarity with philosophy instead of vitriol.
This is fine work. I hope you continue to tell it to rousing approval.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 10-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2016
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Thank you, Lee, for your generous, six star review. I look forward to this certificate ending so I could turn my full attention to telling and submitting my story. I love your line that I "can now talk about it in all its vulgarity with philosophy instead of vitriol." It took me over forty years to reach this point. I tried repeatedly in the 1980's and 1990's to write about the arson incident, but I lacked the skills and the language to describe this horror. I ended up writing fantasy, science fiction, and horror inspired by the event.
I have performed so many stories in the past four years that I can now look at a horrible incident in my past and know how to approach and shape it. I now have the storytelling skills and the language to write the unthinkable.
If you see any minor nits, please point them out so I could correct them, if you may.
Thank you again for your generous review. You inspire me.
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Yes, you do have the skills to 'shape' a story, and the 'language' to keep the shape. I'm impressed with your reverence for language. Language is the whetstone that keeps a story sharp.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, :)
I would've loved to be in the audience at the Freight & Salvage, or maybe not ... what happened? You refined your future storytelling events so it must have been something huge.
I like this ---> Like bandits with pillowcases, ... I pictured children treated like bandits because they are African American and the thought it's insane.
This one stands out for me --> the black hole that remained in my childhood. I think that when children suffer traumatic experiences they leave a hole that is hard to fill. Sometimes those holes are never filled or healed.
''Spooks'' it will be interesting to read your story when it's done. Words have great power and when used like a weapon they can harm as much as a gun.
Good job!
gypsy
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Hello, :)
I would've loved to be in the audience at the Freight & Salvage, or maybe not ... what happened? You refined your future storytelling events so it must have been something huge.
I like this ---> Like bandits with pillowcases, ... I pictured children treated like bandits because they are African American and the thought it's insane.
This one stands out for me --> the black hole that remained in my childhood. I think that when children suffer traumatic experiences they leave a hole that is hard to fill. Sometimes those holes are never filled or healed.
''Spooks'' it will be interesting to read your story when it's done. Words have great power and when used like a weapon they can harm as much as a gun.
Good job!
gypsy
Comment Written 09-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Yes, Gypsy. I am anxious for this story certificate to end so I can turn my whole attention to rehearsing and performing it under five minutes. Shortly before I posted, I uncovered a 1992 diary entry describing me interviewing my family for the story "Spooks" about the fire, but I have not uncovered my notes or the story yet. I am happy with this current version and am glad it resonated with you. I found healing in acknowledging the good neighbors who helped us. Thank you for your review and encouragement.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Sis Cat: I thought I would stop by your San Fran site for awhile. I like your story about being cool and brave trick or treating with the young ems. You got tricked by a neighbor who wanted what? They were mean to a family, how awful. I kept thinking about your candy under the pillow. You didn't take it with you. Good story telling with intensity. flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Sis Cat: I thought I would stop by your San Fran site for awhile. I like your story about being cool and brave trick or treating with the young ems. You got tricked by a neighbor who wanted what? They were mean to a family, how awful. I kept thinking about your candy under the pillow. You didn't take it with you. Good story telling with intensity. flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 09-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Thank you, flylikeaneagle, I am glad you enjoyed my "Good story telling with intensity."
Comment from Mary Wakeford
It is very difficult for people not of color to understand the depth an incident of this nature must have on the victims, in this case you and your family. I can apologize for the ignorance and injustice that is present in some, but I can't even begin to fathom what must create monsters like these people.
You have a beautiful tone to your writing and I have to think it is therapeutic for you to write about that night with the fear and sadness still present, all these years later, as it would be for anyone.
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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It is very difficult for people not of color to understand the depth an incident of this nature must have on the victims, in this case you and your family. I can apologize for the ignorance and injustice that is present in some, but I can't even begin to fathom what must create monsters like these people.
You have a beautiful tone to your writing and I have to think it is therapeutic for you to write about that night with the fear and sadness still present, all these years later, as it would be for anyone.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 10-Aug-2016
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Yes, Mary, I did find writing this story to be therapeutic. The incident haunted me for over forty years and I have tried various stories, poems, paintings, and photos to address it. I feel I got it right this time by acknowledging the good neighbors who came to my family's aid. To me, their love outweighs the hatred of others. Thank you for your generous, six star review.