Summer Tantrum
A little poem about a big temper8 total reviews
Comment from Amy Greta
If every student in my summer school class could vote, your haiku would have won the contest. I wanted to teach personification and making connections, so we read the Lune contest entries. Yours was the favorite, but not at first; at first they "didn't get it", but we took a good 10 minutes to analyze; the purr of thunder and the purr of a big cat, the "in a flash" as lightning OR a sudden move from a predator, and roars and claws as in thunder and lightning OR as a lion or tiger. They "got it" and your poem opened up new doors of imagination for my at risk inner city youth. Here are two of their poems:
(BOY):
Soccer always in
my mind and my favorite team
is the Real Madrid
(GIRL):
As birds sing on trees
I start to think about life
Nature is beauty
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015
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If every student in my summer school class could vote, your haiku would have won the contest. I wanted to teach personification and making connections, so we read the Lune contest entries. Yours was the favorite, but not at first; at first they "didn't get it", but we took a good 10 minutes to analyze; the purr of thunder and the purr of a big cat, the "in a flash" as lightning OR a sudden move from a predator, and roars and claws as in thunder and lightning OR as a lion or tiger. They "got it" and your poem opened up new doors of imagination for my at risk inner city youth. Here are two of their poems:
(BOY):
Soccer always in
my mind and my favorite team
is the Real Madrid
(GIRL):
As birds sing on trees
I start to think about life
Nature is beauty
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much for your generous and thoughtful review! Your kind words and the two beautiful poems written by your students were both very touching and inspiring to me. I am constantly learning and growing in my writing, and encouraging comments like this make me even more enthusiastic to "keep on penning and posting". Poetry and writing, or any similar creative art form, can be such an awesome way of expressing oneself and tapping into the unique God-given talents that each of us has in our possession. May God bless you and your class always! Best wishes in all your future endeavors, and may your journeys and successes be life changing and soulfully enriching!!!
Comment from BeasPeas
It's true. Summer can change on a dime from sunny, to cloudy, to stormy. Perfect dramatic image to accompany your words. Use of the word "claws" is a good description for lightning. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015
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It's true. Summer can change on a dime from sunny, to cloudy, to stormy. Perfect dramatic image to accompany your words. Use of the word "claws" is a good description for lightning. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 26-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2015
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Thank you so much for your very thoughtful review and comments. Have a wonderful (hopefully storm free) Fourth of July weekend!
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Nice haiku. I like the imagery and the flow of each line. Has the 5/3/5 syllables count. Kigo focus on- summer storm. Has two juxtaposed ideas- purrs and roars ideas. Good job!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Nice haiku. I like the imagery and the flow of each line. Has the 5/3/5 syllables count. Kigo focus on- summer storm. Has two juxtaposed ideas- purrs and roars ideas. Good job!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful review! Your comments are appreciated. Have a wonderful weekend.
Comment from Leineco
This piece is an excellent example of the Lune's potential to impart powerful imagery in a very condensed form! To be both succinct <and grand, while encompassing the character of poetic language is truly artistic.
Rarely, in these short form poem contests, do I see one (let alone three) really powerful pieces submitted! (Yours, plus Wheat Never Wanders and Summer Breeze) Voting will be difficult indeed!!!
Great write!!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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This piece is an excellent example of the Lune's potential to impart powerful imagery in a very condensed form! To be both succinct <and grand, while encompassing the character of poetic language is truly artistic.
Rarely, in these short form poem contests, do I see one (let alone three) really powerful pieces submitted! (Yours, plus Wheat Never Wanders and Summer Breeze) Voting will be difficult indeed!!!
Great write!!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Thank you for your generous review! Your comments are very much appreciated. Enjoy your upcoming weekend of hopefully dry weather (unless, of course, you are in one of those sadly parched areas of the country). Many blessings!
Comment from ruzu27
What a nice poem. You are so right and everyone of us knows it. We all have felt nature's purring and we are also familiar with the roaring.
You have chosen an excellent picture for your Lune which is absolutely correct.
Wishing you good luck in the contest.
Ruth
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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What a nice poem. You are so right and everyone of us knows it. We all have felt nature's purring and we are also familiar with the roaring.
You have chosen an excellent picture for your Lune which is absolutely correct.
Wishing you good luck in the contest.
Ruth
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Good Morning, Ruth. Thank you so much for your thoughtful review, comments and well wishes. Hope you enjoy a wonderful, tantrum-free weekend!
Comment from justafan
Well done. The poem matches the art perfectly :) I wish you luck in the contest. This should do well, if not win.
Always justafan,
Missy
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Well done. The poem matches the art perfectly :) I wish you luck in the contest. This should do well, if not win.
Always justafan,
Missy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful review, kind words and well wishes. Have a beautiful day!
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi....
_ This is such a great representation of summer storm.
_ Great photo for presentation as well.
_ You have a great entry. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Hi....
_ This is such a great representation of summer storm.
_ Great photo for presentation as well.
_ You have a great entry. Good luck in the contest.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful review and comments. God's blessings to you also. Have a wonderful weekend!
Comment from MsPetra
Well done as far as keeping true to form is concerned. I also liked that it is coherent and actually said something. I liked it!
Please keep writing. I will be looking forward to other offerings from you.
Take care.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Well done as far as keeping true to form is concerned. I also liked that it is coherent and actually said something. I liked it!
Please keep writing. I will be looking forward to other offerings from you.
Take care.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much for your thoughtful review and comments. Your feedback and encouragement is very helpful and greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful, sunny summer day!