Dr. Howler's Nightmares
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Rage!"A collection of most unusual bedtime stories
19 total reviews
Comment from ellie6
A harrowing but uplifting story. He got his revenge, even if he had to pay with his life. There is never ever any excuse for that kind of abuse. Chilling. but well described. One little grammar thing - 'the platform I will take my last look around from' how about- 'the platform from which I will take my last look around.' Or does that sound too stilted?
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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A harrowing but uplifting story. He got his revenge, even if he had to pay with his life. There is never ever any excuse for that kind of abuse. Chilling. but well described. One little grammar thing - 'the platform I will take my last look around from' how about- 'the platform from which I will take my last look around.' Or does that sound too stilted?
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support. Glad you enjoyed this tale.
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
That picture of the innocent child remains with the reader throughout the rest of the story.
One can sense the real emotion behind what is written. Such hurt and anger can only be written about by someone who has some experience of the situation.
Does one ever come through such experiences unscathed?
Is it possible to blur the memory with later kindness and love, or is the heart too bruised to recover.
I can really only review this write from an emotional perspective experienced by your painting of a desperate scenario. You write well!
Warmly,
Juliette
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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That picture of the innocent child remains with the reader throughout the rest of the story.
One can sense the real emotion behind what is written. Such hurt and anger can only be written about by someone who has some experience of the situation.
Does one ever come through such experiences unscathed?
Is it possible to blur the memory with later kindness and love, or is the heart too bruised to recover.
I can really only review this write from an emotional perspective experienced by your painting of a desperate scenario. You write well!
Warmly,
Juliette
Comment Written 27-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
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Thank you for your comments and support. Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Comment from valerieellis
Wow! This is exceptional! What a raw and amazing writing. No, it is not pleasant or easy to read but it is REAL and evoked strong emotions. I am sorry you had to endure even a single day of abuse! I find it interesting how those who have been hurt or abused seem to be able to write eloquently. Perhaps it is our way of finding a voice... Thank you for sharing. God bless :-)
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Wow! This is exceptional! What a raw and amazing writing. No, it is not pleasant or easy to read but it is REAL and evoked strong emotions. I am sorry you had to endure even a single day of abuse! I find it interesting how those who have been hurt or abused seem to be able to write eloquently. Perhaps it is our way of finding a voice... Thank you for sharing. God bless :-)
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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I survived that ordeal and lived to tell about it. Appreciate your comments and support very much indeed.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Brett. I hear ya brother. I don't think you were here when I posted my first series "Childhood Series" earlier this year but many of the scenes are the same. No kid should have to start life out in the horrid fashion. Well done mate, cheers Fez
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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G'day Brett. I hear ya brother. I don't think you were here when I posted my first series "Childhood Series" earlier this year but many of the scenes are the same. No kid should have to start life out in the horrid fashion. Well done mate, cheers Fez
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Will have to check that one out. Always appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from dmt1967
I am sorry you had to go through this my friend. The trouble with parents like this, they don't see anything wrong with their behavior, but we as children and grown ups suffer even when they are dead, Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
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I am sorry you had to go through this my friend. The trouble with parents like this, they don't see anything wrong with their behavior, but we as children and grown ups suffer even when they are dead, Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
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Appreciate your comments and support indeed.
Comment from Halfree
Not quite sure how to review this; it certainly has the ring of truth so I accept it as written. Think your use of the short one or two sentence paragraph very effective; the burning rage comes through. All in all well done. The paragraph about six long years....very effective. OK, so I ramble...very nicely done...good and disturbing read.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
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Not quite sure how to review this; it certainly has the ring of truth so I accept it as written. Think your use of the short one or two sentence paragraph very effective; the burning rage comes through. All in all well done. The paragraph about six long years....very effective. OK, so I ramble...very nicely done...good and disturbing read.
Comment Written 16-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2015
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Appreciate your comments and support indeed.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
Tears are filling my eyes as I'm reading your notes about the story you wrote. My dad was never very nice to me because he wanted a son not me. Still his actions toward me weren't nearly as bad as the things you went through. How terrible it must have been for you when your dad treated you so awful until you were ten. What made him stop?
Kat
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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Hi Brett,
Tears are filling my eyes as I'm reading your notes about the story you wrote. My dad was never very nice to me because he wanted a son not me. Still his actions toward me weren't nearly as bad as the things you went through. How terrible it must have been for you when your dad treated you so awful until you were ten. What made him stop?
Kat
Comment Written 15-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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He died from 4 heart attacks and several Strokes. Thanks for your comments and support. Believe me he was never my Dad, just my biological sperm donor. I was later adopted by the man I consider to be my Dad.
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was a most impressive and powerful piece of writing. But one thing puzzles me. Where and when is this supposed to have taken place? In the USA, since 1976, the youngest age of offence of any executed person was sixteen.
Adrian
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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I thought this was a most impressive and powerful piece of writing. But one thing puzzles me. Where and when is this supposed to have taken place? In the USA, since 1976, the youngest age of offence of any executed person was sixteen.
Adrian
Comment Written 15-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from GE Parson
Bret, I know you couldn't care less about the 3 stars which are 4 more than this - whatever you all it - deserves.
The reason I am so offended by this piece of Obama shit, is because what you wrote does happen to unwanted children; and to make a joke out of it is beyond heartlessness.
As a Pastor and social worker I see this kind of wicked too often. I have broken down in tears as I would attempt to put my arms around a sweet little abused child only to have them
run away screaming in terror or just sit in total cold staring silence.
Brett you are too intelligent to write something like this as a Father's Day offering to FS. You still have time to use your God given word smarts, to pen a sweet Father's Day poem or prose. I look forward to it.
Jerry
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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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Bret, I know you couldn't care less about the 3 stars which are 4 more than this - whatever you all it - deserves.
The reason I am so offended by this piece of Obama shit, is because what you wrote does happen to unwanted children; and to make a joke out of it is beyond heartlessness.
As a Pastor and social worker I see this kind of wicked too often. I have broken down in tears as I would attempt to put my arms around a sweet little abused child only to have them
run away screaming in terror or just sit in total cold staring silence.
Brett you are too intelligent to write something like this as a Father's Day offering to FS. You still have time to use your God given word smarts, to pen a sweet Father's Day poem or prose. I look forward to it.
Jerry
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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First off this has nothing to do with Obama as you indicate. Nor was it written as a joke or a Fathers Day offering. Nor was this written to make light of the fact of child abuse. I lived the first half of this, and the revenge factor is what I have always wanted to do to this person because of it. I embellished the last half of this for dramatic affect. You are right, the stars do not bother me in the least. Your review on the other hand could not be any further off if it had to be.
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Ok Bret I owe you an apology.
What happened is as I read your story of such cruel abuse, I was wiping tears of anger, as I said I have seen so much of this cruelty as Pastor and social worker. Than when I read the words this is not entirely true, I lost it and failed to read on.
This being posted on close to Fathers day I put two and two together and obviously came up with ten. Associating your bent for writing horror stories I thought this was one of them and than I was angry for a different reason- the reasons of which I accused you.
So I am guilty of Proverbs 18:13"He that answers a matter before he hears it (all) it is folly and shame to him."
Bret I said I owe you an apology and so I apologize for my sharp tongue.
Jerry
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Apology accepted and incident forgotten. Fair enough?
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As the teen agers say "COOL MAN!"
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Brett,
Well you certainly nailed the emotional elements of rage in this strongly piece.
My birthday and all you did that day was ignore me - this is patently not the case as he called you, split your head open by hitting you with a plank of wood - so much so you would never forget it. I am pointing this out as you need to remain consistent with your story telling. be careful of making a statement and then negating it.
And, do you know, no, I am sure you do not know, or care why death would have been a preferred option for me when I was ten years old.- this should end with a question mark.
ten years old / I was ten years old / Ten fricking years old - again this is overkill. Three references in two lines - be careful of this.
So what if I was arrested for killing you. Who cares if I was tried, and as an adult no less, in a court of law. Yes I was convicted and yes I was sentenced to death. But, like I said who cares. - there should be some question marks in here at some point.
grey walled home - this should be gray
Cause, ready or not - 'Cause
I remember from a previous piece that the repetitive and consistency aspect came up. Be aware of this. I have lots of idiosyncracies myself that I have to watch for when I proof read and eliminate.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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Hi Brett,
Well you certainly nailed the emotional elements of rage in this strongly piece.
My birthday and all you did that day was ignore me - this is patently not the case as he called you, split your head open by hitting you with a plank of wood - so much so you would never forget it. I am pointing this out as you need to remain consistent with your story telling. be careful of making a statement and then negating it.
And, do you know, no, I am sure you do not know, or care why death would have been a preferred option for me when I was ten years old.- this should end with a question mark.
ten years old / I was ten years old / Ten fricking years old - again this is overkill. Three references in two lines - be careful of this.
So what if I was arrested for killing you. Who cares if I was tried, and as an adult no less, in a court of law. Yes I was convicted and yes I was sentenced to death. But, like I said who cares. - there should be some question marks in here at some point.
grey walled home - this should be gray
Cause, ready or not - 'Cause
I remember from a previous piece that the repetitive and consistency aspect came up. Be aware of this. I have lots of idiosyncracies myself that I have to watch for when I proof read and eliminate.
All the best
G
Comment Written 15-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2015
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Okay.