(haiku) as the rain falls down
fill my cup Lord17 total reviews
Comment from RADH!KA
-A very insightful poem ; shows the plight of the homeless when rain falls down and not having water to drink inspite of water all around.
-All constraints of the contest followed aptly
I enjoyed the read . Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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-A very insightful poem ; shows the plight of the homeless when rain falls down and not having water to drink inspite of water all around.
-All constraints of the contest followed aptly
I enjoyed the read . Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 08-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for your rating, review and very kind comments. Pharp
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Most welcome :)
Comment from marylou4
Your poem is an example of poetic excellence in style, content, and form.
Your imagery is magnificent.
I applaud your writing for adhering to all the technical requirements.
This poem was free of any errors.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Your poem is an example of poetic excellence in style, content, and form.
Your imagery is magnificent.
I applaud your writing for adhering to all the technical requirements.
This poem was free of any errors.
Thank you for sharing it with us.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2015
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Marylou,
You have been an inspiration to me from day one, for that I give God thanks. Thanks so much for the six star rating and for your endless support. Blessing to you my friend ........Portia
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very good poem that follows all the directions in the prompt.
-Everything interconnects nicely.
-The topic you chose is certainly appropriate for the theme of the contest.
-Good use of alliteration.
-Excellent satori line.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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-Very good poem that follows all the directions in the prompt.
-Everything interconnects nicely.
-The topic you chose is certainly appropriate for the theme of the contest.
-Good use of alliteration.
-Excellent satori line.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for a great review; greatly appreciated. Pharp
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You are very welcome for the review.
Comment from Bill Schott
This water themed haiku, as the rain falls down, uses its fifteen syllables to remind us that the rain falls on the just and the unjust, and also the fortunate and less fortunate.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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This water themed haiku, as the rain falls down, uses its fifteen syllables to remind us that the rain falls on the just and the unjust, and also the fortunate and less fortunate.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for your review and rating; greatly appreciated. Blessings............Portia
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is an excellent write, pharp, you did an excellent job writing this haiku about the homeless that always thirst for their next supper, such imagery here. good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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this is an excellent write, pharp, you did an excellent job writing this haiku about the homeless that always thirst for their next supper, such imagery here. good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for your review, rating and very kind comments; greatly appreciated. Blessings to you my friend...Pharp
Comment from Sis Cat
Now, this is what I call an effective, concrete haiku. Reminded me of the old saying, "Water, water everywhere, but not s drop to drink." Excellent satori. I see homeless scurry for shelter in the rain. Thank you for sharing and I wish you success in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Now, this is what I call an effective, concrete haiku. Reminded me of the old saying, "Water, water everywhere, but not s drop to drink." Excellent satori. I see homeless scurry for shelter in the rain. Thank you for sharing and I wish you success in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for your review, rating and best wishes; greatly appreciated. Blessings..........Portia
Comment from inside echo
Very well written. It is also a huge social issue that doesn't get near enough attention. Thank you for writing about such a powerful and relevant topic. Thirsty for many things. Your haiku meets the requirements perfectly. You wrote a wonderful, and needed poem. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing.
echo
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Very well written. It is also a huge social issue that doesn't get near enough attention. Thank you for writing about such a powerful and relevant topic. Thirsty for many things. Your haiku meets the requirements perfectly. You wrote a wonderful, and needed poem. Good luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing.
echo
Comment Written 06-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for your rating, review and very uplifting comments; greatly appreciated. Blessings to you.......Portia
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You are most welcome.
Comment from angel123
Your poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and it held my attention. It's clever and witty and you followed the contest rules.
Angel123
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Your poem is well written and I enjoyed reading it. It flows well and it held my attention. It's clever and witty and you followed the contest rules.
Angel123
Comment Written 05-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much my friend for your rating, review; I am glad you enjoyed reading it. Blessings Portia
Comment from ronnie k
"Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink" beautiful write it fit the style like a new pair of gloves LOL, meaning as much are maybe then an entertaining moment in this reviewer mind, thank you Ronnie k.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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"Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink" beautiful write it fit the style like a new pair of gloves LOL, meaning as much are maybe then an entertaining moment in this reviewer mind, thank you Ronnie k.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Thanks so much for your rating, and review; greatly appreciated. Blessings..........Pharp
Comment from kiwisteveh
I don't think I have seen a haiku before with such a clear statement of religious faith (although it could also be interpreted in other ways, your description suggests that this is correct.)
Your final brief satori line adds a lot of punch to this and also links strongly to the water theme. The paradox of being thirsty while there is rain all around forces the reader to examine this more closely for the real meaning.
Worth that rare sixth star, I think.
Steve
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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I don't think I have seen a haiku before with such a clear statement of religious faith (although it could also be interpreted in other ways, your description suggests that this is correct.)
Your final brief satori line adds a lot of punch to this and also links strongly to the water theme. The paradox of being thirsty while there is rain all around forces the reader to examine this more closely for the real meaning.
Worth that rare sixth star, I think.
Steve
Comment Written 05-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2015
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Wow, I am glad you got the picture without me utilizing artwork to get the message across. When I see those who are homeless, my heart goes out. Those who are homeless, yes they are thirsty, but for so much more; how about, God's love, hope, a job, a place to live, compassion, ok I'll stop now. Thanks so much for the six star rating, and most of all for getting the message intended. Blessings to you Portia