Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Good job with the prompt. I like that each verse has its own theme. I like how you stated that escape is treason. Yes, you are right in that no one know the future. However to not try is an awful way to deal with what some may believe is their only way of doing so. Good job with a poem with a strong message. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thank you jannypan, I appreciate your fine comments. :-) Carolyn

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

Carolyn, you did well on this poem. It is scary that so many young people
lose hope and think suicide is the only way out. Very sad. I especially like
the last verse about standing strong and denying death's chill.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thanks so much for your insightful comments. :-)Carolyn

Comment from Rosalyne

Excellent

What a great post. We're not aware of what's ahead, but taking that journey in stride we can enjoy so much that awaits. Your last line is excellent and a great way to end the poem. Your note really speaks volumes. It's so sad when some don't see hope in life.
Bye
Rosalyne :)

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

That is so true, it is sad. Thanks for the comments Rosalyne, :-) Carolyn

Comment from Sanku

Excellent

Suicide is very depressing . what is more depressing is their inability to confide in any one.or is it that they have no one to confide?Whatever be the truth we have to drive home the message you are giving in this poem. Life is worth living.very well written and smoothly flowing.

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thanks Sanku, I appreciate all you have said. :-) Carolyn

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

interesting aaab cccd rhyming
good alliteration in phrases like stand strong and still
deny deaths chill - death's - add apostrophe for possessive
I like your evocative interpretation of the photo :-) Brooke

 Comment Written 21-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 27-Mar-2015

Thanks Brooke for the affirming comments in this review. :-) Carolyn

Comment from angelface2

Excellent

I feel sorry for the youth that feel suicide is the only answer. Life IS worth living. If only someone could touch their heart with a testimony of our living God and how he takes care of us, they would know. Nice poem, Carolyn. :>D Miss Sally

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2015

Thanks Miss Sally,
You are so right, they see friends and family so grief stricken when someone they know takes their life, that in many cases they are wanting that same attention. They just don't understand, self gratification can not be enjoyed by the dead.
:-) Carolyn

Comment from l.raven

Excellent

HI Carolyn, it truly is amazing how many teens take their lives in these times...and if they would just give life a chance...they would find it is worth living...very well written you...a great message in this poem...Love Linda xxoo luff

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2015

Thanks Linda for this affirming review. Suicide is such a waste, if only young folks could understand.
Love you... Carolyn

reply by l.raven on 20-Mar-2015

you are so welcome Carolyn..love xxoo

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Carolyn;
+ Poem is very relative, appropriate, reflective and complementary to the picture.
+ Imagery is quite distinct and clear and very expressive and vividly descriptive as it pertains to the mental and images and psychological feelings of the character in the poem.
+ Rhyming words are contingent to the meaning and concept of each line which is important for the rhyming is neither forced nor labored and helpful in the rhythmic flow. More importantly the model rhymes are done so well that it doesn't throw off the reading of the poem.
+ Rhythmic meter(mixed but effective), tempo, cadence and timing all were helpful in making the reading clear, fluid and easy.
+ Enjambment used what is the running on of a thought and concepts for one line, verse or couplet to the next without a syntactical break.
+ Good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 20-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2015

Thank you dear Alex.
I appreciate your wonderful and analytic review. It is very helpful to know that I am using correct form as I pursue this avenue of writing. You are very encouraging to me.
Thanks as well for the good luck wishes.
Carolyn

reply by krys123 on 20-Mar-2015

You are so sincerely welcome my dear friend, Carolyn.
Alex

Comment from LateBloomer

Excellent

Hello notesandmore, This is a poem that many will relate to, especially in our world of turmoil where the answers are not just black and white. Of note:

Never ending stream
Locomotive with no steam
Clear perception a dream
Future insecure

(The unsettling state of our world, sadly.)

As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2015

Thank you for the wonderfully insightful comments LateBloomer. I appreciate what you have said and thanks for the good luck wishes. :-) Carolyn

Comment from Spitfire

Exceptional

Perfect take on this picture. You've used the railroad and train as a metaphor. I can imagine teens often feel this way, adults too at times. The vanishing point, gravel, locomotive with no steam. Awesome take on this.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2015

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reply by the author on 20-Mar-2015

Thanks Shari,
I am so honored by the comments and the awesome award. When I saw the picture the poem flowed quickly. So glad you 'got' the message so well.
:-) Carolyn