haiku (clementine)
sweet darling5 total reviews
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
Oranges are one of those fruits that there are so many kinds and you always have your favorite and prefer one kidn of the other, same with apples. Great job and good luck in the contest
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Oranges are one of those fruits that there are so many kinds and you always have your favorite and prefer one kidn of the other, same with apples. Great job and good luck in the contest
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
You have met the contest requirements nicely. This is packed with juicy imagery and I love the satori word play. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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You have met the contest requirements nicely. This is packed with juicy imagery and I love the satori word play. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much for reading and responding to my work.
Comment from RYME4U
These orange slices look so delicious. You have done well with this fruit haiku.I like the clever reference to the old song "Clementine" Great job!
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These orange slices look so delicious. You have done well with this fruit haiku.I like the clever reference to the old song "Clementine" Great job!
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your picture looks so real--good enough to eat. You met the criteria of 17 or fewer syllables. I am not sure if "lush" and "luscious" are enough different in meaning that it sounds like repeating lush. However, I did not deduct any 'points; because you (and others may see a difference). I like the 'play' on words with the 'oh' and 'my' darling' and the title 'clementine.' One thing I would amend is the way you have the title. I do not know how stringent the judges are with that now, though. The rules say to state it like this:
haiku(clementine)
I had an entry disqualified because I wrote the tile wrong several weeks ago. I believe the rules say one thing now, and most sponsors still hold to writing it a certain way. Anyway, good job and good luck in the contest.
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I like the changes. Good job.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Your picture looks so real--good enough to eat. You met the criteria of 17 or fewer syllables. I am not sure if "lush" and "luscious" are enough different in meaning that it sounds like repeating lush. However, I did not deduct any 'points; because you (and others may see a difference). I like the 'play' on words with the 'oh' and 'my' darling' and the title 'clementine.' One thing I would amend is the way you have the title. I do not know how stringent the judges are with that now, though. The rules say to state it like this:
haiku(clementine)
I had an entry disqualified because I wrote the tile wrong several weeks ago. I believe the rules say one thing now, and most sponsors still hold to writing it a certain way. Anyway, good job and good luck in the contest.
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I like the changes. Good job.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thanks, jannypan, for your helpful review and comments. I went back and changed the title, and I substituted "sweet" for "lush".
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I reread it. I like it better now.
Comment from Ricky1024
Loved ad piquant the song...
So get along little pony and
get bucking and when that
FUC**** contest!
Thanks for ad memories!!
24.
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Loved ad piquant the song...
So get along little pony and
get bucking and when that
FUC**** contest!
Thanks for ad memories!!
24.
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 16-Oct-2014
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Thanks, Ricky, for reviewing and responding. And I was thrilled by the "six stars"...