Get Over It
Very Short Story (A contest entry)36 total reviews
Comment from Tonulak
I always appriciate a unique, creative approach to a prompt. But when I read through and got to the notes I was confused. In the opening you say "migraines", but in the notes you say "migrants", I kept thinking I was going insane and read it three times. If you are using "migraines" sort of symbolically, it really didn't work, or maybe it's spag. Anyway it threw off my enjoyment. Still, high marks for creativity--Ted
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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I always appriciate a unique, creative approach to a prompt. But when I read through and got to the notes I was confused. In the opening you say "migraines", but in the notes you say "migrants", I kept thinking I was going insane and read it three times. If you are using "migraines" sort of symbolically, it really didn't work, or maybe it's spag. Anyway it threw off my enjoyment. Still, high marks for creativity--Ted
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thanks for your review, Ted. I was using 'migraines' as a wordplay to suggest what a headache migrants seem to be for the authorities sometimes. Sorry that didn't work for you!
Comment from michaelcahill
Just enjoyed this immensely. Wonderfully creative and biting. Hahaha. Too sharp and witty for the voters it seems. Well, a great piece to add to your many others. Would love to see some more prose from you. This had great pace and was a fun read. mikey
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Just enjoyed this immensely. Wonderfully creative and biting. Hahaha. Too sharp and witty for the voters it seems. Well, a great piece to add to your many others. Would love to see some more prose from you. This had great pace and was a fun read. mikey
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thanks, Mikey, for your kind words and encouragement!
Comment from JM
This reminds me of a story I wrote where "profiles" and "prejudice" were part of the story. I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I'm sorry to say I didn't get the "Migraines". Nonetheless, a great write
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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This reminds me of a story I wrote where "profiles" and "prejudice" were part of the story. I thoroughly enjoyed your story. I'm sorry to say I didn't get the "Migraines". Nonetheless, a great write
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thanks for your review, JM. I was using 'migraines/migrants' as a wordplay to suggest what a headache migrants seem to be for the authorities sometimes. Sorry that didn't work for you!
Comment from Tsukuyomi969
Cultural erasure, customs, the prejudice against Arcadians...these are all thought provoking ideas, and I really think you could expand this into something great. I was a little confused by the term "Migraines". Did you mean migrants, or were you going for the metaphor of headaches? Either way, it worked for me, because I liked this a lot. Good work, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Cultural erasure, customs, the prejudice against Arcadians...these are all thought provoking ideas, and I really think you could expand this into something great. I was a little confused by the term "Migraines". Did you mean migrants, or were you going for the metaphor of headaches? Either way, it worked for me, because I liked this a lot. Good work, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Thanks for your review, Tsukuyomi. I was using 'migraines' as a wordplay to suggest what a headache migrants seem to be for the authorities sometimes. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pyrrho
Reads like Brave New World meets 1984 in spades. All Arcadians are equal, but some Arcadians are more equal than others. Does that ring a bell Mr. Pavlof
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Reads like Brave New World meets 1984 in spades. All Arcadians are equal, but some Arcadians are more equal than others. Does that ring a bell Mr. Pavlof
Comment Written 24-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Many thanks for stopping by to review, Pyrrho
Comment from Leineco
Chilling future vision! And yet. . .somehow - believable.
Interesting choice - Arcadia. Land of unspoiled, harmonious wilderness. I can see how they would have a hard time assimilating into the every growing cacophony of mankind. I guess she'll have to be stress, noise and pollution customized :-(
Just curious. . .why Migraines instead of Migrants; Migraine Officer instead of Migration Officer? Cause it's all about the brain. . . and resulting headaches?
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Chilling future vision! And yet. . .somehow - believable.
Interesting choice - Arcadia. Land of unspoiled, harmonious wilderness. I can see how they would have a hard time assimilating into the every growing cacophony of mankind. I guess she'll have to be stress, noise and pollution customized :-(
Just curious. . .why Migraines instead of Migrants; Migraine Officer instead of Migration Officer? Cause it's all about the brain. . . and resulting headaches?
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2014
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Thanks, Lorraine. I used 'migraine' as a play on words to highlight the point that migrants can sometimes be a huge headache to the authorities .
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Ah!
Comment from nelliesellie
I love the picture. I love the story. It is just the opposite of what we are doing now. The story wants people to be all the same. We cherish differences more that we should. We need the different people to respect each other and to get along. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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I love the picture. I love the story. It is just the opposite of what we are doing now. The story wants people to be all the same. We cherish differences more that we should. We need the different people to respect each other and to get along. Great work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Many thanks for your review, comments and good luck wishes, Nelliesellie
Comment from Acquired Taste
Okay then, a bit of sarcasm, pointed tongue-in-cheek - perhaps a look at what will happen all too soon? Like this short story - scary when it's "others" in that place - oh wait...it's me.
Good luck. AT=/
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Okay then, a bit of sarcasm, pointed tongue-in-cheek - perhaps a look at what will happen all too soon? Like this short story - scary when it's "others" in that place - oh wait...it's me.
Good luck. AT=/
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Many thanks for stopping by to review, AT
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, tfawcus, you did an excellent job writing this. when I read Migraines I didn't know where you were going with this one, but in the notes I see it's about migrants. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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this is very well written, tfawcus, you did an excellent job writing this. when I read Migraines I didn't know where you were going with this one, but in the notes I see it's about migrants. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Many thanks for stopping by to review, Sweetwoodjax
Comment from IndianaIrish
I enjoyed your story very much, tfawcus, and I was so interested to find out where she was and what would happen to her. I do have a question ... why is the line--'Anna Kronisma,' she wrote, 'Born 2092. 28 years old. Citizen of Arcadia.'--have quotations when she is writing the line and not speaking it? Best wishes to you in the contest.
Smiles,
Indy:-)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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I enjoyed your story very much, tfawcus, and I was so interested to find out where she was and what would happen to her. I do have a question ... why is the line--'Anna Kronisma,' she wrote, 'Born 2092. 28 years old. Citizen of Arcadia.'--have quotations when she is writing the line and not speaking it? Best wishes to you in the contest.
Smiles,
Indy:-)
Comment Written 23-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2014
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Many thanks for stopping by to review, Indy. You are right, that probably shouldn't have been in quotation marks. I appreciate you pointing it out.