haiku (endangered beauty)
a haiku about a rare butterfly7 total reviews
Comment from pattipac
Your lovely art work selection serves as the perfect introduction to your poem about the endangered Mt. Charleston blue butterfly, a desert treasure.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014
Your lovely art work selection serves as the perfect introduction to your poem about the endangered Mt. Charleston blue butterfly, a desert treasure.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014
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Hi pattipac, so glad you enjoyed this one. Rod
Comment from krys123
RodG, wow, the pictures so enhancing for this piece of poetry that is just amazing such a beautiful butterfly it is then you give it justice which your beautiful haiku. Your first line or satori really sums up the rest of your poem why your first two lines are very expressive and descriptive and are very connecting. Thank you so much for sharing in posting this for everyone and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014
RodG, wow, the pictures so enhancing for this piece of poetry that is just amazing such a beautiful butterfly it is then you give it justice which your beautiful haiku. Your first line or satori really sums up the rest of your poem why your first two lines are very expressive and descriptive and are very connecting. Thank you so much for sharing in posting this for everyone and may all your endeavors be good ones.
Alex
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Alex, for your most encouraging review and wonderful praise. Rod
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You are so welcome my friend
Comment from Jean Lutz
Already it looks a bit ghost-like to me. Thank you for using your talent to introduce me to it. Beautiful words and artwork and I wish you well with the entry.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
Already it looks a bit ghost-like to me. Thank you for using your talent to introduce me to it. Beautiful words and artwork and I wish you well with the entry.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, Jean, for your wonderful praise and best wishes. Rod
Comment from Quire's Gal
Hi Rod,
You have a very nice haiku. Your Satori is clear and effective and I love "dusky as the mouintin sky"
The reason for the 4 stars is your title needs to read like this...
haiku (endangered beauty)
edit this, send me a message and I will re-rate.
Good luck in the contest,
Drusilla1
Thanks for getting back to me Rod and I've upgraded your rating. As for my directions, I am sorry I was not clear as to the format needed for your title. It's kind of an unwritten law amongst haiku writers and I charged a higher fee to attract skilled haiku writers, but I should have made that clearer. All haiku are titled that way for your future reference.
Thanks for your feedback.
Drusilla1
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
Hi Rod,
You have a very nice haiku. Your Satori is clear and effective and I love "dusky as the mouintin sky"
The reason for the 4 stars is your title needs to read like this...
haiku (endangered beauty)
edit this, send me a message and I will re-rate.
Good luck in the contest,
Drusilla1
Thanks for getting back to me Rod and I've upgraded your rating. As for my directions, I am sorry I was not clear as to the format needed for your title. It's kind of an unwritten law amongst haiku writers and I charged a higher fee to attract skilled haiku writers, but I should have made that clearer. All haiku are titled that way for your future reference.
Thanks for your feedback.
Drusilla1
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Hi Drusilla, I know you created the contest, but no where in your directions does it say the title cannot be as I did mine. I reread the directions several times before posting to see if I had to do it as you suggest. I am not concerned about the rating, but I think your directions should have been made clearer. Rod
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is a beautifully presented haiku, and the satori works well as the first line. It does seem to me that the butterfly should be mentioned somewhere within the poem itself instead of depending on the picture and the title. But the whole package does make me sad that such a beautiful creature might become extinct. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
This is a beautifully presented haiku, and the satori works well as the first line. It does seem to me that the butterfly should be mentioned somewhere within the poem itself instead of depending on the picture and the title. But the whole package does make me sad that such a beautiful creature might become extinct. Best wishes, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Thank you, Jeanie, for such a kind--and honest--critique. I was relieved when the contest did not require the first line to be the title; otherwise, I am not sure how I could have put "butterfly" into the actual poem. Rod
Comment from rjuselius
"endangered beauty
dusky as the mountain sky
rests on desert bloom"
this is a lovely piece of poetic art! and a very good entry! i thoroughly enjoyed this poem! well-written and a nice one!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
"endangered beauty
dusky as the mountain sky
rests on desert bloom"
this is a lovely piece of poetic art! and a very good entry! i thoroughly enjoyed this poem! well-written and a nice one!
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Thank you so much, rebekka, for your wonderful critique. Rod
Comment from Fleedleflump
I adore your central line - what a beautiful, effective description. I've read several of these satori-first haiku and I have to say I really enjoy them. This is an excellent piece.
Mike
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
I adore your central line - what a beautiful, effective description. I've read several of these satori-first haiku and I have to say I really enjoy them. This is an excellent piece.
Mike
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Mike, i am so pleased you read and enjoyed mine. Thanks for your gracious praise. Rod