The Bard of Bel Air
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Lucy's New Job"A homeless man sees more than people realize.
15 total reviews
Comment from l.raven
Hi Michael, been off a couple days...running to catch up...GO Lucy...she got Harpsters mother and brother out...and now working on Winston...she a cool chick...moving on...as always a great story told...Luff Linda xxoo love
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
  |
Hi Michael, been off a couple days...running to catch up...GO Lucy...she got Harpsters mother and brother out...and now working on Winston...she a cool chick...moving on...as always a great story told...Luff Linda xxoo love
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
-
Well, I know you did catch up. Thank you again, mikey
Comment from Sankey
Really good work, mate. Get sleazier and sleazier and more fun to read as we go along. Thanks again.
Some spags.
W(-h)ere you able to convince them
I guess
m(M)om's been
put you up near my house or my partner(')s.
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
|
Really good work, mate. Get sleazier and sleazier and more fun to read as we go along. Thanks again.
Some spags.
W(-h)ere you able to convince them
I guess
m(M)om's been
put you up near my house or my partner(')s.
Comment Written 15-May-2014
reply by the author on 16-May-2014
-
This is more fun to write than the other ones. I'm not good with science (lazy) so the last story gave me headaches!
Comment from ravenblack
Ahh, so now the wheels are in motion. I have a feeling that the wheels are going to fall off those black Humvees soon. Definitely have the Bard directly involved in the final confrontation.
|
Ahh, so now the wheels are in motion. I have a feeling that the wheels are going to fall off those black Humvees soon. Definitely have the Bard directly involved in the final confrontation.
Comment Written 12-May-2014
Comment from CR Delport
Mmm, I wonder what Winston is up to now. At least Lucy got Harpster's parents out of danger. This Winston is sure one dodgy character. This is another well written chapter.
|
Mmm, I wonder what Winston is up to now. At least Lucy got Harpster's parents out of danger. This Winston is sure one dodgy character. This is another well written chapter.
Comment Written 12-May-2014
Comment from Nosha17
This was an exciting chapter, I half expected someone to get shot, glad they didn't. Your characters are so intricately drawn and so likeable, you feel as if you know them intimately. That is the skill of the writer. Great write. Faye
|
This was an exciting chapter, I half expected someone to get shot, glad they didn't. Your characters are so intricately drawn and so likeable, you feel as if you know them intimately. That is the skill of the writer. Great write. Faye
Comment Written 11-May-2014
Comment from seaglass
Its very good, believable and easy to follow. You gotta make it exciting by giving Lucy some close calls where theings don't quite work out like their planned. But you know that already.
|
Its very good, believable and easy to follow. You gotta make it exciting by giving Lucy some close calls where theings don't quite work out like their planned. But you know that already.
Comment Written 11-May-2014
Comment from Tatarka2
I thought this chapter was a bit hard to follow, to be honest. The first half seemed to me to be more "told" than "shown," which seems unlike your style and detracts from this action-oriented tale. Also, "I never let myself grieve" doesn't sound like the way people talk. I'd take a look at that, as well as the presentation of this character as it's depicted here. She's a bit confusing, and it's hard to put together how she fits in.
|
I thought this chapter was a bit hard to follow, to be honest. The first half seemed to me to be more "told" than "shown," which seems unlike your style and detracts from this action-oriented tale. Also, "I never let myself grieve" doesn't sound like the way people talk. I'd take a look at that, as well as the presentation of this character as it's depicted here. She's a bit confusing, and it's hard to put together how she fits in.
Comment Written 10-May-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Very nice progress. All set to go. I do think Winston would have questioned Lucy a bit more before taking her on, to be sure she's willing to be a criminal to get money. That did seem to be missing.
|
Very nice progress. All set to go. I do think Winston would have questioned Lucy a bit more before taking her on, to be sure she's willing to be a criminal to get money. That did seem to be missing.
Comment Written 10-May-2014
Comment from Nichola
I like the dialogue. So far, it seems believable and the characters also are believable. I also like the characters names that you have chosen. They are unique.
Nichola
|
I like the dialogue. So far, it seems believable and the characters also are believable. I also like the characters names that you have chosen. They are unique.
Nichola
Comment Written 10-May-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
All the pieces are in place now. Well done!!!! You managed to move everything around and rearrange the board without losing interest or momentum. Ptretty damn good! NG
|
All the pieces are in place now. Well done!!!! You managed to move everything around and rearrange the board without losing interest or momentum. Ptretty damn good! NG
Comment Written 10-May-2014