Comment from Lovinia

Excellent

Hi Anupam

Your senryu is very cryptic ... and it seems to go over my head. Seems you are saying the desolate and difficult winter muffled the interference of one nation and the world could find some peace for the moment. Do I interpret BLACK HOUSE as President Obama's in the USA?? or perhaps you refer to Pakistan?

The senryu is rather graphic and intriguing ... one just needs to understand where the comments refer to..... perhaps a little more information in your notes? Of course one is not required to explain their senryu ... up to you. I think this is just too subtle, yet potent in its intent.


nosy nation sleeps
as white snow covers black house
world celebrates peace

Your word usage of "sleeps" - seems to imply an impotency of that country during the winter.

You show clever wit here. Some senryu poets write so that the reader may ponder for a long time before getting the message. This is a good idea when presenting to those familiar and knowledgeable in the pure form of this poetry..... perhaps a more general audience may need some help, or clues in deciphering.

Great work. Excellent entry for the contest. I wish you the nest of luck. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo

 Comment Written 04-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Mar-2014

Hi, Lovi. :-)
Thank you to this great review and honestly sharing your thoughts. You guessed it right. I am referring to the white house here...and intentionally wrote it as 'black' to show the tendency of USA to to interfere too much in world politics. This winter was too harsh on them, and I contrasted the nosy tendency of America with pure, white snow.
Perhaps the world might enjoy this frozen state, and peace exist everywhere. :D

Reviewers have interpreted it differently. I should have used a pic of white house,,LOL. If I had written it with "USA" in it, Americans here would have gone crazy....rewarding me with one star..hehe!
Thanks once again. :-)
Have a nice day!

reply by Lovinia on 04-Mar-2014

Hi Anupam

Yes, I can see your potential difficulty with ratings. A brave one .... though it seems Russia may want the distinction of the nosy neighbour at the moment. LOL

I actually really liked how you worded your second line and understood your reference. I also like that you didn't post with an image.... though again when many are not familiar with this form then it could be confusing. I like your gutsy statement with bite. Good luck. Hugs - Lovi xoxoxo

Comment from Smoothiecool

Excellent

good luck in the contest
you have all the correct components for this
you allow your reader to see and feel that as the snow covers all nosy nation can't fight out so peace is but for a short time
good alliteration in
nosy, nation
flows well
cheers Smoothiecool

 Comment Written 03-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

Thank you for this lovely review.

reply by Smoothiecool on 17-Apr-2014

welcome..SC

Comment from Leineco

Excellent

Olympics over
sleeping bear brushes off snow
hunting prey again



Nice senryu
(a subtle recognition of what's happening in the Ukrain)

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

Thank you for this lovely review.

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Hmmm, given recent developments, your references confuse me.
A nosy nation sleeps? Nosy implies anything but sleep.
White snow covers black house? I could read this as a reference to a black man inhabiting the White House.

Your notes confuse me further. Sorry, I'm just trying to understand.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

Thank you for this lovely review.

Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER

Excellent

nosy nation sleeps 'n' alliteration entices
as white snow covers black house Black house=White House?
world celebrates peace Putin/Hitler=no difference

A powerful juxtaposition well presented.

Regards:

 Comment Written 02-Mar-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Apr-2014

Thank you for this lovely review.