Cool for Life
1-6-1 paem6 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
We live and we learn. Good poem. Good alliteration with school/smoked. Good rhyme with school/cool/fool. Good choice of artwork. Great. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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We live and we learn. Good poem. Good alliteration with school/smoked. Good rhyme with school/cool/fool. Good choice of artwork. Great. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 05-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 05-Mar-2014
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Thank you sunnilicious, for your kind and encouraging review!
Comment from l.raven
OK!!! this one I like...how many kids in school start smoking just the be cool...you go to school to learn...well guess what!!! Learn!!!not to smoke fool...very well said and very well written
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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OK!!! this one I like...how many kids in school start smoking just the be cool...you go to school to learn...well guess what!!! Learn!!!not to smoke fool...very well said and very well written
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much l.raven, for your insight into my poem. Also for the kindness and encouragement!
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you are so very welcome...xxoo
Comment from Orphan33
Powerful little 1-6-1. Great little message too. Good luck in the contest. This has a great chance of winning. Really enjoy your work.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Powerful little 1-6-1. Great little message too. Good luck in the contest. This has a great chance of winning. Really enjoy your work.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement!
Comment from jmdg1954
school
smoked and toked to be cool
fool
Lots of truth to your poem. I remember kids starting to smoke in high school to be cool, part of the "in" group (and I'm 59).
Nicely done, good message. John
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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school
smoked and toked to be cool
fool
Lots of truth to your poem. I remember kids starting to smoke in high school to be cool, part of the "in" group (and I'm 59).
Nicely done, good message. John
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Still smoking:( Thank you for your kindness and encouragement!
Comment from mfowler
I like this a lot. You chose a simple thyme scheme to give you a great rhyme choice range. And I think the 'school-cool-fool' pattern is quite catchy. I found it catchy along with the simple message and narrative. Logical stuff really; smoke because it's cool while at school, you end up a tool. Yeah, sorta complex in its simplicity. Good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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I like this a lot. You chose a simple thyme scheme to give you a great rhyme choice range. And I think the 'school-cool-fool' pattern is quite catchy. I found it catchy along with the simple message and narrative. Logical stuff really; smoke because it's cool while at school, you end up a tool. Yeah, sorta complex in its simplicity. Good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you so much for this detailed review. and thank you for the kindness and encouragement!
Comment from tfawcus
The peer pressure is so strong, the stakes so high, the outcome so often tragic. It can be like a gill net. An easy way in and no way out again. How eloquently your short poem states the problem. It is a pithy well-considered warning .
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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The peer pressure is so strong, the stakes so high, the outcome so often tragic. It can be like a gill net. An easy way in and no way out again. How eloquently your short poem states the problem. It is a pithy well-considered warning .
Comment Written 27-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 27-Feb-2014
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Thank you for this kind and encouraging review!