I've Lost My Brother!
Where has Tommy gone?35 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
At my "advanced" age I still do nanny care -- or "love-giver". This reminds me so much of three little ones I know. They would love this story.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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At my "advanced" age I still do nanny care -- or "love-giver". This reminds me so much of three little ones I know. They would love this story.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2014
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Gosh, Jean, thank you so much for going in and finding this story, and reading it now the promotion is finished. I am so pleased you liked it. I am doing a series of these stories. Thank you so much for the lovely review, I hope those 3 little ones will enjoy it too. :) Sandra.
Comment from amanda98653
A lovely write, Sandra:) I really like this one, a unique story that's full of imagination.
Some suggestions:
1. water to keep the sun out of his eyes and stood up.
no comma
2. "Reggie realised it was Tommy Mouse he could hear, and ran to catch up with him."
Reggie realised the voice came from Tommy Mouse, and ran to catch up with him.
3. ""I must find him or (else) Mum will be cross with me for not going with him." "
4. ""Why would I laugh? Why didn't you tell me straight away?" Reggie the Rat sounded quite alarmed. "
no comma
hugs
Amanda
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
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A lovely write, Sandra:) I really like this one, a unique story that's full of imagination.
Some suggestions:
1. water to keep the sun out of his eyes and stood up.
no comma
2. "Reggie realised it was Tommy Mouse he could hear, and ran to catch up with him."
Reggie realised the voice came from Tommy Mouse, and ran to catch up with him.
3. ""I must find him or (else) Mum will be cross with me for not going with him." "
4. ""Why would I laugh? Why didn't you tell me straight away?" Reggie the Rat sounded quite alarmed. "
no comma
hugs
Amanda
Comment Written 08-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 08-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, Amanda, I am thrilled that you liked it. I will certainly sort your suggestions out. This one is also in my rhyming version in the Hedgerow book, and called, 'Lost in the Woods' it's still in my portfolio. :) Sandra. xxxx
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oh okie! I will check it out:)
lots of hugs
Comment from Treischel
A very cute story that has playful elves in it. A lesson on worry and friendship. Well told story. Children should love it, your characters are delightful.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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A very cute story that has playful elves in it. A lesson on worry and friendship. Well told story. Children should love it, your characters are delightful.
Comment Written 02-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, Tom. I am having the stories illustrated soon. So fingers crossed the book will do well. :) Sandra. xsx
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, Sandra, you did an excellent job writing this story about tommy and timmy mouse and their introduction to the elf world. I enjoyed reading it...
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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this is very well written, Sandra, you did an excellent job writing this story about tommy and timmy mouse and their introduction to the elf world. I enjoyed reading it...
Comment Written 01-Mar-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, sweetwoodjax, I am really pleased you liked it. :) Sandra. xsx
Comment from IndianaIrish
Sandra, I enjoyed your story very much. It has good conflict that'll keep a kid's interest and a happy ending. I did make a few notes for you to look at.
Peaceful here (there)
I thought you were lost?(.)
Have to ask you something(,) the eldest elf said
leave this place for ever (forever)
making the other two jump,(.)
Smiles,
Karyn : )
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Sandra, I enjoyed your story very much. It has good conflict that'll keep a kid's interest and a happy ending. I did make a few notes for you to look at.
Peaceful here (there)
I thought you were lost?(.)
Have to ask you something(,) the eldest elf said
leave this place for ever (forever)
making the other two jump,(.)
Smiles,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much, Karyn, for the help. I have made the corrections now. I am pleased you enjoyed the story! :) Sandra x
Comment from mfowler
You have a charming children's story here. It's just magical the way writers can mix animals and fantasy characters as if it's a natural phenomenon. The elves are worried if the mice will tell the humans where they are. The first critter to hide from a human would be a mouse. Nevertheless, you have to suspend reality to enjoy children's writing, which is of course all about imagination. Great narrative, excellent prose and a delightful setting.
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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You have a charming children's story here. It's just magical the way writers can mix animals and fantasy characters as if it's a natural phenomenon. The elves are worried if the mice will tell the humans where they are. The first critter to hide from a human would be a mouse. Nevertheless, you have to suspend reality to enjoy children's writing, which is of course all about imagination. Great narrative, excellent prose and a delightful setting.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 01-Mar-2014
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Thank you so much for this wonderful review. It's so nice to know you enjoyed it. :) Sandra xsx
Comment from angelface2
That is the cutest story I've heard (excuse me, read) in a long time. I think children would love it. Guess I am a kid at heart, because I did. LOL. Miss Sally
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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That is the cutest story I've heard (excuse me, read) in a long time. I think children would love it. Guess I am a kid at heart, because I did. LOL. Miss Sally
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you so very much, Miss Sally, what a lovely review! :) Sandra xsx
Comment from Ben Colder
This is a cute write and would do good in a book for children. You should consider publishing it. It is well written. Thank you for sharing. Blessings
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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This is a cute write and would do good in a book for children. You should consider publishing it. It is well written. Thank you for sharing. Blessings
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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That you so much, Ben. It will be going into a book, but not yet, I have another one coming on at the moment, just being illustrated. This one will be in the next book. Your review is very encouraging, thank you, Ben. :) Sandra
Comment from adewpearl
excellent detail of setting
dramatic way of letting us know Tommy's brother is missing
You build suspense well as they search and speculate
Fun fantasy element with the elves :-)
Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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excellent detail of setting
dramatic way of letting us know Tommy's brother is missing
You build suspense well as they search and speculate
Fun fantasy element with the elves :-)
Brooke
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Thank you so very much, Brooke, for your lovely review. :) Sandra.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi Sandra,
Kids should love this lively little romp. Your characters are adorable and the dialogue seems very natural for young kiddies. I really don't think they're going to keep the secret about meeting elves, lol.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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Hi Sandra,
Kids should love this lively little romp. Your characters are adorable and the dialogue seems very natural for young kiddies. I really don't think they're going to keep the secret about meeting elves, lol.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 28-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2014
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No, they don't, little monkeys! LOL. Thank you for your lovely review of this story. You realise, you have to keep the secret now!!!! :) Sandra xsx
