Reviews from

Jack and the Beanstalk

An acrostic fairy tale

23 total reviews 
Comment from Deborah Marie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a wonderful way to write an acoustic poem. I've bookmarked this one to learn from it and try to write one sometime soon. It is cute and I'm impressed by this well penned acoustic poem. It also brought a smile to my face, Deb

 Comment Written 30-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
    Thanks, Deb.

    I notice you've called this an 'acoustic' poem a couple of times now - the spelling you're looking for is 'acrostic' :o)

    Steve
Comment from Sally Carter
Excellent
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Very good Steve. I love your use of colloquialisms - chow, especially from Mum, kiboshed, and smithereens. I've always had a soft spot for smithereens!
I think I might have mother simply throwing "them" out? Makes more sense and scans better.
"twisty trunks" - wonderful sound and picture.
Maybe the meter goes slightly wonky on the somnolent and following line, but this is so well done I am quite prepared to read it with my performance ear tuned. I am sure it would work fine read aloud, with suitable expressions and voices.
A great addition to what I'm sure is a delightful book.
My best to you,
Sal

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2013
    Thanks, Sally and congrats on your recent reviewing win - good to see someone push rd off the top once in a while!

    I did have 'throwing them' out originally and then on re-reading it sounded like she was throwing out the smithereens...

    Roald Dahl does something similar in 'Revolting Rhymes' but he has more flexibility because they are not acrostics - those are super for performance - I may have done a couple with classes in Singapore many moons ago...

    When I checked again there are now five in this series, some of them go back a little way....
    Princess and the Pea, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks and Boy who cried wolf are the earlier ones. I'm looking at assembling them into a (FanStory) book - at least they will all be together then.


    Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Excellent
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This is a good series, Steve. But in my experience,
magic beans lead more to embarrassment
than glory. 'No hope left, just smithereens.'
That line tickled me.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 29-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thanks again, Lee.

    isn't 'smithereens' a wonderful word?

    Steve
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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Hello, my Kiwi friend, you may be on to something fantastic here! An anthology of fairy tales in verse ...

Done in your wonderful, casually pithy style - to my immense enjoyment.

Sonali :)

 Comment Written 28-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thanks, Sonali.

    Yes, I have five of these now - I may get them all together in one place one day.

    Steve
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
Excellent
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Those are all fairy tales that children have read for years and still enjoy. putting them is poetic form is a wonderful idea. God loves you and I do too.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thank you!

    Steve
Comment from w.j.debi
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a wonderful rendition of the fairy tale and the best use of the acrostic form that I have seen. The rhythm moves it along so well and the rhymes are wonderful. My brother used to have me read him this tale over and over. I like your version even better than the original...and I don't think you miss a detail.

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thanks so much for the glowing review and the six shiny stars.

    Steve
Comment from jgirlie152
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a most delightful take-off on JACK AND THE BEANSTALK.
You have given it great new life, as I remember this as a child and reading it to my own children. Excellent work.
Joan

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Joan, thanks a lot for the kind words and the six stars.

    Steve
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You're going to assemble these into a children's book eventually, aren't you, Steve? A great rendition of Jack and the Beanstalk, complete with Fee-Fie-Fum! :) Nancy

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thanks, Nancy.

    Yep, I have five of them now - one day..... they will all live happily ever after.

    Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well how did I miss the other poems. Must have been before I became a fan. Good aabbrhyme and good rhythm. I see 'evil eddie' has messed up your lines. No cure for that I'm afraid. Good job. Nancy

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thanks, Nancy

    I don't see evil Eddie - the lines are arranged to suit the acrostic words...

    When I checked again there are now five in this series, some of them go back a little way....
    Princess and the Pea, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks and Boy who cried wolf are the earlier ones. I'm looking at assembling them into a (FanStory) book - at least they will all be together then.

    Steve
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Thank you Steve for sharing this well-known fabled poem with fans, myself and other readers/writers. I enjoyed rereading this fairy tale of Jack and the beanstalk. It was short and concise in the riser neither force, labored or strained. The rhythm flowed very well which made it easy for me to read your poem. The imagery was playing but powerful and maybe have visions of the story. You have a good one and God bless.
AK

 Comment Written 27-Oct-2013


reply by the author on 29-Oct-2013
    Thank you, Krys

    Steve
reply by krys123 on 29-Oct-2013
    You're welcome Steve and I really enjoyed the fairytale