Hues of Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Senryu(plastic people sob)"Senryu Collection
18 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
And the irony is so often this is true. Would it not be better show concern for those living? Best wishes with an entry that meets all requirements.
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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And the irony is so often this is true. Would it not be better show concern for those living? Best wishes with an entry that meets all requirements.
Comment Written 26-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2013
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Hi,
Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Contest id already over,
Have a great day!
Comment from TAB_that's me
This is a great senyru for the contest. It has the perfect syllable count. I think you have a great chance of winning.
~Teresa~
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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This is a great senyru for the contest. It has the perfect syllable count. I think you have a great chance of winning.
~Teresa~
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
Comment from tfawcus
Having a bit of difficulty working this one out! Guess you are saying that the people that turn up to funerals to sob at the passing of a friend or relative might have done better to pay them more attention while they were alive.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Having a bit of difficulty working this one out! Guess you are saying that the people that turn up to funerals to sob at the passing of a friend or relative might have done better to pay them more attention while they were alive.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
Comment from Sylvia Page
plastic people sob
while they prate at funeral
masquerade at death
I am quite impressed with this Senyru - masquerade at death!
Very well composed.
Sylvia
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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plastic people sob
while they prate at funeral
masquerade at death
I am quite impressed with this Senyru - masquerade at death!
Very well composed.
Sylvia
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
Since the point of going to a funeral is to show respect for a lost loved one AND to support those left behind, it does seem to be ingenuine when they fail to do so. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Since the point of going to a funeral is to show respect for a lost loved one AND to support those left behind, it does seem to be ingenuine when they fail to do so. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
Comment from visionary1234
Beautifully done senryu! Most people take the easy way out and make them obviously funny. Yours has much more subtlety. VERY good entry! I wish you luck!
:)Sharyn
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Beautifully done senryu! Most people take the easy way out and make them obviously funny. Yours has much more subtlety. VERY good entry! I wish you luck!
:)Sharyn
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
Comment from Charlene0513
It really seems that way doesn't it. But then again if they talk trying only to remember the good times then all is not lost. Very good flow and rhythm to your poem.
Charlene
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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It really seems that way doesn't it. But then again if they talk trying only to remember the good times then all is not lost. Very good flow and rhythm to your poem.
Charlene
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
Comment from MarjorieAnne
Yes, this resonates as the bitter truth. Syllable count is correct and P alliteration effective. Weak points include "while they" and repetition of "at". We assume "they" refers to the same people, yet it doesn't seem possible to sob and prate at the same time, which is what "while" suggests.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Yes, this resonates as the bitter truth. Syllable count is correct and P alliteration effective. Weak points include "while they" and repetition of "at". We assume "they" refers to the same people, yet it doesn't seem possible to sob and prate at the same time, which is what "while" suggests.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
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You're welcome
Comment from Matoshka
Your picture fit your words so well. Hiding behind dark glasses often disguises the intent of the person. A great entry. Blessing
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Your picture fit your words so well. Hiding behind dark glasses often disguises the intent of the person. A great entry. Blessing
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)
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So very welcome, my friend, a great statement. Blessings
Comment from mauial
Plastic people, haven't heard that since the sixties hippie movement. Love the poem and the image that comes through with the choice of words.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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Plastic people, haven't heard that since the sixties hippie movement. Love the poem and the image that comes through with the choice of words.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2013
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thank you so much:)