Louise , part 2
Young man lead astray by lust and faith.38 total reviews
Comment from LJbutterfly
I most enjoyed the realistic dialogue between the two characters. Religious Tucker committed a greater sin than unsaved Louise. He committed murder, calling it an effort to save Louise's soul. He let her body float out to sea, and walked away without a care. What a powerful story, with a strong, unexpected ending.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
  |
I most enjoyed the realistic dialogue between the two characters. Religious Tucker committed a greater sin than unsaved Louise. He committed murder, calling it an effort to save Louise's soul. He let her body float out to sea, and walked away without a care. What a powerful story, with a strong, unexpected ending.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
-
Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Gretchen
Comment from Brett Matthew West
The little brat drowned her and felt no remorse for his actions. He just let her float down river and decompose. And, he calls that love? With friends like him who needs enemies? The twisted ending unexpected.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
|
The little brat drowned her and felt no remorse for his actions. He just let her float down river and decompose. And, he calls that love? With friends like him who needs enemies? The twisted ending unexpected.
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
-
Thank you so much! Gretchen
Comment from Wendy G
My goodness. That was not at all what I was expecting! Even if he doesn't get caught he is guilty of murder, and his father of knowing and covering it up. And there we have another hypocritical religious pastor. And forcing her under the water is not exactly what baptism is about, and nor will it be a means of salvation for Louise if she didn't choose it herself to affirm her own faith. Weird. The sad thing is that her life was over, and basically she was never valued at all. Characters were all well drawn, and it was an excellent story.
Wendy
Wendy
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
|
My goodness. That was not at all what I was expecting! Even if he doesn't get caught he is guilty of murder, and his father of knowing and covering it up. And there we have another hypocritical religious pastor. And forcing her under the water is not exactly what baptism is about, and nor will it be a means of salvation for Louise if she didn't choose it herself to affirm her own faith. Weird. The sad thing is that her life was over, and basically she was never valued at all. Characters were all well drawn, and it was an excellent story.
Wendy
Wendy
Comment Written 22-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
-
Thank you, Wendy. I'm so glad you liked this. Gretchen
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Letting a kid in love suspect you are going to hell can get you killed. That is a scary way to deal with what was in part one. Well written and creepy. You do have a knack for murder.
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
|
Letting a kid in love suspect you are going to hell can get you killed. That is a scary way to deal with what was in part one. Well written and creepy. You do have a knack for murder.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2023
-
I swear it's all my imagination. Lol. Couldn't hurt a fly. I talk the talk but when it comes to the walk ... not so much. Thank you for this. Gretchen
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I love it, Gretchen. You are so good. I'm enjoying your horror and thriller stories. You did a great job with tucker
Wonderful character development of Louise, Tucker, and his father. I hope you write more like this one.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
 |
I love it, Gretchen. You are so good. I'm enjoying your horror and thriller stories. You did a great job with tucker
Wonderful character development of Louise, Tucker, and his father. I hope you write more like this one.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
-
This is from the archives. Really wrote a lot darker years ago. Still like a spooky story though. Thank you so much for this. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Wow! What a climax! Seems like she was keen to move on, to whatever eternity she was headed. She needed more than just baptism. He was totally confused as well. Glad you finished this.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
|
Wow! What a climax! Seems like she was keen to move on, to whatever eternity she was headed. She needed more than just baptism. He was totally confused as well. Glad you finished this.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
-
Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed this. Gretchen
Comment from pome lover
well, if his father, a minister, had slapped him many times, no wonder he couldn't control himself. I did figure that would happen when he asked her to go in the water. I have to say, I like your other stories that I read earlier, better, but you are trying different types of stories, and this one showed the reality of like father, like son. A dark story.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
|
well, if his father, a minister, had slapped him many times, no wonder he couldn't control himself. I did figure that would happen when he asked her to go in the water. I have to say, I like your other stories that I read earlier, better, but you are trying different types of stories, and this one showed the reality of like father, like son. A dark story.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
-
This was from 2013. I've actually lightened up. Lol. Thanks for this. Gretchen
-
I love your "lightened up ones!
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Gretchen,
as usual, you didn't disappoint. I suspect that most men and probably more than a few women understand the strong draw of lust. It makes you do things you might otherwise not do. The boy obviously had no understanding of baptism, that if it's not a voluntary choice, it's not valid. I'm sure there are more than a few people who have gone overboard in their understanding of Christianity, wanting to do God's will, but not understanding what that will is. I myself was involved in a Christian fellowship that created a great deal of turmoil for me for years. That's neither here nor there. What matters is that you told a great story- again. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
|
Hello Gretchen,
as usual, you didn't disappoint. I suspect that most men and probably more than a few women understand the strong draw of lust. It makes you do things you might otherwise not do. The boy obviously had no understanding of baptism, that if it's not a voluntary choice, it's not valid. I'm sure there are more than a few people who have gone overboard in their understanding of Christianity, wanting to do God's will, but not understanding what that will is. I myself was involved in a Christian fellowship that created a great deal of turmoil for me for years. That's neither here nor there. What matters is that you told a great story- again. Well done gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
-
Thank you so much. I appreciate the feedback and the personal comments. Gretchen
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Oh my goodness Gretchen this is so awful, Tucker certainly took on the work of the Devil here and his Father was also complicit. Neither of them will go to Heaven where they sent Louise. Some people commit great sin in the name of God when they are the true sinners, I have experienced people like this and I condemn them. A fine post, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
|
Oh my goodness Gretchen this is so awful, Tucker certainly took on the work of the Devil here and his Father was also complicit. Neither of them will go to Heaven where they sent Louise. Some people commit great sin in the name of God when they are the true sinners, I have experienced people like this and I condemn them. A fine post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
-
Thank you, Dolly. It amazes how many people think they are the authority of God's Will. My thoughts , be the best person you can be. Try to reflect Him in everything you do. Simple. I appreciate the review. Gretchen
Comment from damommy
I never have enough sixes, darn it! I liked this very much. I could feel the tension building up as drowning her. Very good action. Wow! So far, I've like everything you write.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
|
I never have enough sixes, darn it! I liked this very much. I could feel the tension building up as drowning her. Very good action. Wow! So far, I've like everything you write.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2023
-
Thank you. Don't worry about sixes. I'm just happy you enjoyed reading. Gretchen