Which Way Is Out
Wasted youth10 total reviews
Comment from barleygirl
Good job of showing a wasted life, due to bad choices. I like the message & the lesson in your poem, as well as the picture. The only thing I think could be stronger is this phrase: "path of bad" . . . maybe something more vivid, an image, SHOW us bad, in a creative way. Good luck!
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Good job of showing a wasted life, due to bad choices. I like the message & the lesson in your poem, as well as the picture. The only thing I think could be stronger is this phrase: "path of bad" . . . maybe something more vivid, an image, SHOW us bad, in a creative way. Good luck!
Comment Written 20-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello barleygirl, Thank you for the great review. With limited words and syllables available, I chose "path of bad." I don't know what other phrase I could use to describe this young man ...
drug abuse, alchohol abuse, burglary, credit card theft, auto theft, parental abuse, beating his girlfriend, and much more. It's difficult to sum this up in three syllables, but he is/was a bright young man. It is a shame that he couldn't direct his talents and energy into positive behavior, but getting over on people and taking the easy way out has always been his way. He is of no relation to me. I write about the world around me. Now you got the skinny, if you got the phrase, pass it on. Once again, thank you. Stop by my writing pad again.
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(((HUGS)))
Comment from Dean Kuch
A sad piece, this aptly describes what one must feel when realizing that their life has passed them by without their dreams being realized. To me, there is nothing more disheartening or distressing to reach the end of your rope with that hanging over your head.
Let's hope that that isn't one of the things we must face when our time comes...
Nicely done, evokes lots of emotions.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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A sad piece, this aptly describes what one must feel when realizing that their life has passed them by without their dreams being realized. To me, there is nothing more disheartening or distressing to reach the end of your rope with that hanging over your head.
Let's hope that that isn't one of the things we must face when our time comes...
Nicely done, evokes lots of emotions.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello Dean Kuch, thank you for the great review and for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate the time spent. Stop by my writing pad again. LateBloomer
Comment from wierdgrace
I know a few I would like to read this poem too, and many many years ago, I could have been that person, great poem for the contest, and I do wish you luck.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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I know a few I would like to read this poem too, and many many years ago, I could have been that person, great poem for the contest, and I do wish you luck.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello wierdgrace, Thank you for the great review and for sharing your thoughts. This poem can be about so many of our young people today. I truly appreciate the time spent. LateBloomer
Comment from june prescott
Nicely written nonet in perfect form. This is a sad reflection of someone who took the wrong path in life. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Nicely written nonet in perfect form. This is a sad reflection of someone who took the wrong path in life. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello june prescott, Thank you for the great review and for sharing your thoughts. Yep, he took the wrong path a long, long time about before the age of 13. He now sits in jail, and the neighborhood is quiet once more. LateBloomer
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Too bad about that youngster, but glad your neighborhood is peaceful again. Cheers, JP
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the nonet
and is paired effectively with the illustration
good alliteration in look at your life
when/weep/wasted/wind/with/wondering which way - excellent alliterative grouping
Compelling tone of sorrow and regret
Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Your poem is in excellent syllable count for the nonet
and is paired effectively with the illustration
good alliteration in look at your life
when/weep/wasted/wind/with/wondering which way - excellent alliterative grouping
Compelling tone of sorrow and regret
Brooke
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello adewpearl, Thank you for the great review and for sharing your thoughts and expertise. It is an honor to receive a review from you. Sincerely, LateBloomer
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent message in this well-penned nonet. Nice turn from I weep to YOU weep.
path of bad -- great condensing
Nice use of alliteration with W. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Excellent message in this well-penned nonet. Nice turn from I weep to YOU weep.
path of bad -- great condensing
Nice use of alliteration with W. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello Spitfire, Sooner or later, those who are on the "path of bad" will weep or end up in the morgue. Stop by my writing pad again. LateBloomer
Comment from 4tun81
Your nonet tells the story of many a parent with teenagers gone bad. Nice alliteration. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Your nonet tells the story of many a parent with teenagers gone bad. Nice alliteration. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello 4tun81, thank you for the grerat review and for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate the time spent. LateBloomer
Comment from fastdigits
A Nonet artistically structured
as it veers down the screen in
remembrance of all those wasted
years that can never be recovered.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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A Nonet artistically structured
as it veers down the screen in
remembrance of all those wasted
years that can never be recovered.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello fastdigits, Thank you for the great review and for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate the time spent.
Comment from Tina McKala
Awesome nonet! Very original, I loved it's free rhyme structure. And the message is one of those that many people can relate to. Serious theme. Good luck in the contest! This piece has potential.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Awesome nonet! Very original, I loved it's free rhyme structure. And the message is one of those that many people can relate to. Serious theme. Good luck in the contest! This piece has potential.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Thank you, Tina McKala, for the great review and for sharing your thoughts. I truly appreciate the time spent. LateBloomer
Comment from kiwisteveh
Good solid nonet which should fare well in the voting.
Thought-provoking argument and one that many will relate to in the lives of those around them if not their own.
I particularly liked the strong closing.
Steve
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Good solid nonet which should fare well in the voting.
Thought-provoking argument and one that many will relate to in the lives of those around them if not their own.
I particularly liked the strong closing.
Steve
Comment Written 19-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2013
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Hello kiwisteveh, Thank you for the great review and for sharing your thoughts. This poem received one lonely vote. When it comes to contests, people like that those pieces that feel sweet or make you say ahhhhhh. kiwi, life is not always sweet and doesn't always leave a person with that warm and cuddly feeling, but I thank you for your insightful review. Stop by my writing pad again. I truly appreciate the time spent. LateBloomer