Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "A Graveyard Moon"Murder Mystery
57 total reviews
Comment from Author Unknown
Now this priest isn't the killer is he??????????? Wow. Curiosity rules and so does my stupid back. Typical cops, one minute kind, then hard as an ice cube. I have one tiny suggestion. ? I love this phrase, 'tighter than a duck's ass'...but 'tick's ass' is more like it to me. My dad used to say 'tighter than a tick's ass'. LOL! No biggee. Just me. I'm getting tired. AND I love 'bricks for brains'...great phrase. I hope this character comes into play! :) X. A.
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
Now this priest isn't the killer is he??????????? Wow. Curiosity rules and so does my stupid back. Typical cops, one minute kind, then hard as an ice cube. I have one tiny suggestion. ? I love this phrase, 'tighter than a duck's ass'...but 'tick's ass' is more like it to me. My dad used to say 'tighter than a tick's ass'. LOL! No biggee. Just me. I'm getting tired. AND I love 'bricks for brains'...great phrase. I hope this character comes into play! :) X. A.
Comment Written 16-Dec-2013
reply by the author on 17-Dec-2013
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Hi, buddy. You know, it's funny, I went online and actually did a search for 'tighter than' and it came up a duck's behind. There was some kind of explanation for it based on the duck's anatomy that intrigued me at the time. But a 'tick' is more common for sure. Thanks for the insights which will all go into my pool for revisions. I so appreciate your efforts. xxx Bev
Comment from Jean Lutz
Starts right out by introducing a detective -- intimidating in size and native tracking DNA. Does it get any better? Then a killer with the knowledge of a mortician???? Wow!
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2012
Starts right out by introducing a detective -- intimidating in size and native tracking DNA. Does it get any better? Then a killer with the knowledge of a mortician???? Wow!
Comment Written 07-Oct-2012
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2012
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Thank you, Jean. I really appreciate you reading and reviewing. Wish I could still give you the bucks! You are most kind. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Joy Graham
Wow! Great story, Bev. I am fascinated. You are talented to take on different types of story styles. First paranormal and now crime scenes and murder mystery. I would be scared to write about murder. My son in law is a police officer and he loves to watch cop shows but rarely finds one that is based on reality. Anyway, good job my friend. You have me hooked!
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2012
Wow! Great story, Bev. I am fascinated. You are talented to take on different types of story styles. First paranormal and now crime scenes and murder mystery. I would be scared to write about murder. My son in law is a police officer and he loves to watch cop shows but rarely finds one that is based on reality. Anyway, good job my friend. You have me hooked!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2012
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Oh, I wish I had access to your son. I would have my own personal cop expert! He's right about all the cop trash. I watch the I.D. network and get to see and hear from real life cops, warts and all. It's been very valuable for my writing.
Love ya, buddy
Bev
Comment from Rattler
Great read again. Poor Priest..
Just a few helpful notes.
"Inform Officer Newstead..." If Newstead works for the Sheriff he would be called "Deputy" not "Officer" I worked for both..
You use Officer in a few places. Also if someone is the Detective investigating they are referred to as Detective no matter what agency they work for. Except for the Sheriff.
Just a few comments, you can disregard if you like, I just wanted to point them out for your.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
Great read again. Poor Priest..
Just a few helpful notes.
"Inform Officer Newstead..." If Newstead works for the Sheriff he would be called "Deputy" not "Officer" I worked for both..
You use Officer in a few places. Also if someone is the Detective investigating they are referred to as Detective no matter what agency they work for. Except for the Sheriff.
Just a few comments, you can disregard if you like, I just wanted to point them out for your.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2012
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THANK YOU! I was looking for just such information because I felt my use of the titles was off. I really appreciate the good advice and great review, Rattler. Cheers! Bev
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Anytime:)
Comment from Janice65
A very well written chapter. The story flows well and the reeader does not lose track of who is who. The characters are all well defined in their appearance,speach and demenor. Excellent and I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
A very well written chapter. The story flows well and the reeader does not lose track of who is who. The characters are all well defined in their appearance,speach and demenor. Excellent and I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, Janice. I really appreciate the very generous review and words of support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from HittorX
I enjoy your material. Where do you get your plot ideas? I like that sheriff for some reason, not sure why. Poor priest, LOL. Anyway, I enjoyed this, keep it up!
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
I enjoy your material. Where do you get your plot ideas? I like that sheriff for some reason, not sure why. Poor priest, LOL. Anyway, I enjoyed this, keep it up!
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2012
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Hi, Thomas. Thanks for your great review. Years of reading mysteries and watching crime dramas, I guess. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from Tina55
Ooooo..another excellent, tense addition to your story, Bev. Great language and dialogue. I love your characters, too. Each exudes their own strengths and personalities...bravo!
I especially like your pacing. I often struggle not to reveal too much too soon. :-)
Keep up the good work!
Love
tina
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
Ooooo..another excellent, tense addition to your story, Bev. Great language and dialogue. I love your characters, too. Each exudes their own strengths and personalities...bravo!
I especially like your pacing. I often struggle not to reveal too much too soon. :-)
Keep up the good work!
Love
tina
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Thank you so much, Tina. I am thrilled by your generous review. I really am challenged by good pacing, so to read that you liked the pacing of this chapter really makes me feel good. Thanks for the support and interest, my friend. Love, Bev
Comment from mumsyone
Great writing, Bev! Good description and dialogue, and even though I haven't read the first two chapters, I gleaned enough from this one to figure out what is going on.
Hugs, Lois
Surprised, and relieved,(no comma) by the absence of the odor of blood, he proceeded to the back of the house.
white hosiery and heels, the killer (had) placed her on top of the bed linen.
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
Great writing, Bev! Good description and dialogue, and even though I haven't read the first two chapters, I gleaned enough from this one to figure out what is going on.
Hugs, Lois
Surprised, and relieved,(no comma) by the absence of the odor of blood, he proceeded to the back of the house.
white hosiery and heels, the killer (had) placed her on top of the bed linen.
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Hi, Lois. Thank you so much for this great review. And I've made the suggested changes - appreciate your time and interest. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Jen Gentry
Girl I am so impressed with this write that I will just have to read more of it. I am so thrilled to have read this most captivating and most professionally written chapter that I have read in a long time you pulled me in and held me with your vivid imagery and awesome story line if I had a six I would give it to you now
BLessings
JEnny
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
Girl I am so impressed with this write that I will just have to read more of it. I am so thrilled to have read this most captivating and most professionally written chapter that I have read in a long time you pulled me in and held me with your vivid imagery and awesome story line if I had a six I would give it to you now
BLessings
JEnny
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Thank you much, Christa. I really appreciate this great review and your wonderful words of support. It's fun to write a story knowing that people are enjoying what you've visualized. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from WilliamDeen
Well done! A very enjoyable read from start to finish. You really grabbed the reader at the beginning and paced it well to keep interest. Good descriptions, details, and dialogue all mixed together well. Thanks for sharing. billy
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
Well done! A very enjoyable read from start to finish. You really grabbed the reader at the beginning and paced it well to keep interest. Good descriptions, details, and dialogue all mixed together well. Thanks for sharing. billy
Comment Written 20-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 20-Mar-2012
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Thanks so much, billy. I really appreciate the kind review and support. Warm regards, Bev