Comment from vickib

Exceptional

Hi Bev,
Thought I'd stop by and start your book. I enjoyed reading this first chapter. Interesting mix a bishop and an Indian medicine man. Great story telling, love your descriptions throughout the whole chapter. I love too the blanket as a physical link to his mother. I have a blanket like that. So I related right away. I know I've told you I grew up around the spirits of Indians on my families ranches and thought I was an Indian girl when I was little. My grandmother took me to so many Indian ruins and museums I can't even count. Anyway I'm going to try and catch up. But I'm slow you know. Also I wanted to congratulate you on your win. Yay! This must be like your baby by now. Ok looking forward to digging in to the mystery of what happened to Debra. Also thank you for the definitions of some of the terms. Needed those. But would have looked them up if they weren't there.
Love and congratulations again!
Vicki

 Comment Written 07-Apr-2014

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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2014

Dear Vicki... thank you so much for taking time out to read my opening chapter. I'm sure I'll find some things to change when I go back to begin the editing process. I always have considered you a very perceptive reviewer, so any suggestions you care to offer at any time are most welcome. Thanks, buddy!!

Love, Bev

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

I am happy to see that this story is well underway so I don't have to wait for the next chapter. What a beginning. This is an excellent hook. I wish that I had time tonight to get through a few chapters. This promises to be excellent.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2014

Thanks so much, w.j., for this awesome review. I really appreciate your encouragement and generosity. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Author Unknown

Excellent

Dear Lord, I'm 50 chapters behind. Oh Bev. Your opening para was great. You introduced the main character so well and by the end of this chapter we are drawn into the turmoil to come. Lovely work. I will keep trying to catch up. You've inspired me to start a book of my own. God help me. I'm so tired Bev, I don't know how far I'll get with anything. x. A.

 Comment Written 16-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 16-Dec-2013

Thanks for the awesome review, A. I'd be one of your first customers if you put together some of your short stories. With the right illustration, I think you'd have a real winner. I'm thrilled you liked the opening. Big Hug, Bev

reply by Author Unknown on 16-Dec-2013

Bless your heart. :) x

Comment from Ruucnor

Excellent

You have intrigued me again. I will have to read the whole thing now. I did notice one little thing that kinda bothered me "he rubbed pain gel in circles around his swollen knuckles"

pain gel sounds almost like it gives pain might try "analgesic gel" or "pain relief gel"

often arthritis suffers wrap their affected joints to help alleviate pain also just FYI

I appreciate the definitions after the chapter it was quite helpful.

I look forward to reading the next installment and figuring out who the man is on the phone or woman. I guess I just interpreted as a man or voiced it that way in my head.

 Comment Written 12-Dec-2013

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reply by the author on 13-Dec-2013

Thank you for going back to read this chapter, R. I like your suggestions, but wonder if some might trip on the analgesic gel? I like pain relief gel, and will change it. Thanks again! Bev

Comment from carey

Excellent

I decided to read a book on this site and I chose yours, I love the writing style and mysteries are my favorite genre.I look forward to the journey through your book. I promise to comment along the way.-Carey

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2013

Carey, thank you for choosing my novel to read. I'm really honored and would appreciate any improvements or insights you may want to share. Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Winslow

Excellent

Dear Writingfun,

This is very well written, vivid descriptions, excellent dialogue and a mystery to boot. However, I am a little confused by the ending and would have liked more clues. Was the woman who died related to his mother? Anyway I think the story is ripe for more details.

Warm regards,

Winslow

 Comment Written 14-Apr-2013

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reply by the author on 15-Apr-2013

Hi, Winslow. Thank you so much for the fab review. I really appreciate it. The connection between the two women is mostly in the nature of they way the priest deals with them. But I will certainly keep your good insight in mind for the next two chapter. Warm regards, Bev

Comment from justjo66

Excellent

I was curious about your work and went back to the
beginning of your story to hopefully learn from you.
I think you have a lot to teach me...so, I will study and
read your work. I will also read it because it caught
my attention at the first paragraph and held it until
the end of the page. This does not happen very often
with me. I will be trying to catch up.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2013

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reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013

Thank you for your interest, Jo. I think you will find that my writing grows more confident as I go along - at least I like to think it has. I am a total novice, so any suggestions you may have are most appreciated. This novel has been quite a learning experience for me thanks to superb feedback from reviewers and friends.

Thanks again and please have a wonderful weekend.

Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from eowyn0003

Exceptional

Very good. Outstanding read. Thank you for the Definition of terms at the bottom. The story made much more sense knowing what these terms meant. I can't wait to see what happens.

Lura

 Comment Written 20-Dec-2012

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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012

Thank you so much for reading from the beginning chapter, Lura. I appreciate your great review and shared insights. Blessings, Bev

Comment from Amenian Aypotheeno

Excellent

Well I have to say I am pleasantly surprised when I read through this piece. Excellently written, believe context, gripping story, great dialogue and ends of a cliff hanger where you want to read more!! You are obviously very skilled at story telling and plotline thinking, a great tension is portrayed here and it pulls you into the storyline quickly and immediately has you rooting for the rector so to speak! Excellent written skills and I am so glad I have stumbled across your work!

 Comment Written 17-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2012

Hi, AA. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I'm so happy you enjoyed the story. I'm enjoying writing it, and feel that comments and reviews like yours have helped me to build my skills with each chapter. Please know how much I value that! Warmest regards, Bev

Comment from Jean Lutz

Excellent

This gives me chills for several reasons. I, like Brian, don't like cold and damp. All year round I sleep with a cozy blanket. Then your introduction of the Native Americans gave me more pause to reflect some thoughts of my own the past few weeks. I live on land once owned by Indians near the Tangipahoa River. Settled here after Hurricane Katrina sent me in search of higher ground six years ago. Didn't have flood insurance because I was told it had never flooded here. Hurricane Isaac seems to have leveled the ground. I was spared but it flooded all around me. Now I am trying to get flood insurance which the government will soon be telling me that I must have. Alas, I have rambled with my own personal lament, but I have found myself wondering if it is because the native's blood cries out from the land. Sorry for the ramble, I will try to settle down and look forward to the rest of your story.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2012

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2012

I really enjoyed your sharing that Jean. I live fifteen miles from an Odawa reservation here in Northern Michigan. I have done some work clearing negative energies/haunted properties; and encounered more than once the Native American spirits who are very upset about the way the trees have been cleared to make room for subdivisions. Especially that it was done with no attempt to show any respect for their ways and that fact it was their land originally. So, you see I am very open to what you are talking about. I believe there are many areas in this country where the native spirits are angry and, even, vengeful. I don't blame them, either.

I plan to bring together Brian, Tony and his niece in a big way in the next ten or so chapters. I have a few things I want to say along the lines of what you and I are discussing.

You seem like a kindred spirit. That's so cool. Feel free to level with me on any other chapters you read. I'm going to do a thorough editing when I'm through with the novel anyway.

Thanks so much for reading and reviewing ... Bev

reply by Jean Lutz on 06-Oct-2012

I am just relieved you don't think I am crazy. Maybe it was kindred spirits that caused me to find your writing. I heard something about harvest moon and Native Americans on television the other day and have been doing a bit of research. Then clicked on a later chapter that intrigued me.