Comment from Charlene0513

Good

To robina1978,
You have created a very fun-filled, jam-packed day as the two dragons enjoy sledging for the day.
Good description!
But I noticed these errors:
1)"Shall we ["maybe"-omit] put Nicci and Artie......
2)When the(y) knew it, Mareng and......
3)The trees looked beautiful and eerie with all their branches covered in snow.
The snow covered branches looked beautiful.(shorten/do not be repetitious)
4)[.] ;[S]some of people and some of dogs.(continuous statement)
5)College proved not anymore difficult ["then"-omit](than) before,.....
6)Come ["half"](mid) February...
7)Not long before the [S]summer break,.....
8)but they behave strang(e)ly holding hands....
9)["Booths"](Both) started giggling and laughing....
Charlene
P.S.These changes I made is only to help you become a better writer not to criticize your work.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2011

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2011

Thanks so much for your excellent and thoughtful review. Take care, Ine

Comment from Jean Lutz

Excellent

Timely writing for some along the eastern U.S. seaboard. The first snowfall of the season arrived in record depths. Romance is entering in even for dragons.

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2011

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011

Thanks for your kind and thoughtful review, Ine. Yes it is sometime, don't know when yet-LOL.

Comment from elgone

Exceptional

This is a very well written and compelling story. I love the characters and I really, genuinely care about them. You have made them real to me. Teenage Dragons! Imagine that. It could be turned into a marketing bonanza!

But more seriously, you write very well, especially well in a second language. I am still in awe of that. I realize you have some help here and there, but the story I am reading is from you, regardless whose exact words end up in the post. Your creativity is amazing. This could be a great children's story franchise, engendering movies or cartoons. I mean, I'm enthralled with it. Maybe I'm still a kid at heart as many of us still are, but you have to believe in the power of this story.

E

 Comment Written 02-Nov-2011

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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine. What a honour a six and specially coming from you. Thanks so much, you just made my day.

Comment from rchitwood

Excellent

Seems these two are learning about certain facts of life.I am glad they never got hurt on the sliegh.Youe story once again is very creative good imagination and would make a good children's book>It held my attention and is well written.Blessings Rita

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.

Comment from gazzagodbod

Excellent

ooo good work my friend love this story the picture works perfectly great work thank you so much love your work gazzagodbod

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.

Comment from BigTomNY

Excellent

Great chapter here and really made me want more. i will go back when i have time and read all your chapters for this here!! Great job!!

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Hello robina

Love your cute story about your dragons.
Yes it was indeed fun to read.
I remind me of a poem I wrote about our Siberian Huskies when they use to pull a sled.

What you call a sledge we call a sled

Gert

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine. Do you have Siberian Huskies? Someone allready told me you call it different.

reply by Gert sherwood on 31-Oct-2011

Hi
Yes we used to have these amazing and beautiful dogs
Gert

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011

Nice- not any more I gather.

reply by Gert sherwood on 01-Nov-2011

Stooped breeding the Huskies when the last five died one at a time
It was to heartbreaking
Gert


Huskies
Gert

reply by the author on 01-Nov-2011

so you bred with them. If 5 die it is heartbraking. We bred one Border Collie litter wit one female Border that got a 7 th place at Crufts at age 2 in the open class with 38 in total. She looked sweet , was not exactly completely right built and her character was not as one would wish. But the litter turned out to be an improvement.

Comment from Hareem.S

Excellent

This is a ver nice story for kids. Lol, they are so innocent, they dont know where they came from and they are graduallu being introduced to kissing etc. A well written story. Enjoyed reading it.

.S I wrote a poem"why I write like I do" it is specifically addressed to my reviewers, thought I'd tell u

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine. I read it when I finally found the booth for voting.

reply by the author on 31-Oct-2011

Thanks for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine. I read it when I finally found the booth for voting.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I just noticed the neat dragon picture--good one for your story. I liked your stressing how isolated the woods were, but I am glad no one was hurt on the escapade. -Joan

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2011

Thanks so much for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine

Comment from wiljacro

Excellent

HI! robina, this is turning into a really interesting story for kids, and will be a good tale for Mum, Dad or Grandma to read to them as a bedtime treat,and they are sure to complain that they want more, when told it is time to go to sleep.So, it looks like you are going to have to hurry and finish the story! wiljacro.

 Comment Written 31-Oct-2011

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reply by the author on 31-Oct-2011

Thanks so much for your kind review. Blessings and take care, Ine.
Have not heard too many complaints yet-LOL-are huge deliveries for me those chapters.