The Glass Cat Eye
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Challenge of Good and Evil"Talking to the dead has its consequences
19 total reviews
Comment from Paradox Tremors
I've been away too long from reading this. I thought I've read this chapter and posted my comments--once more, I'm either dreaming I did or your writing is so good my mind can imagine what it is your next word will be as I read this. I hope you're still planning to get this published and turn it into a series (and when you're famous I can say I knew you "when).
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2011
  |
I've been away too long from reading this. I thought I've read this chapter and posted my comments--once more, I'm either dreaming I did or your writing is so good my mind can imagine what it is your next word will be as I read this. I hope you're still planning to get this published and turn it into a series (and when you're famous I can say I knew you "when).
Comment Written 05-Aug-2011
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2011
-
Hey, thanks, but you didn't have to read and rate if you didn't want to. I just wanted to know what you thought of the Doc and demon fight scene in my last chapter...chapter 10. But thank you anyway.
-
I read for the enjoyment of the story and rate what I think the story deserves -- 'nuff said, okay on that (lol). I love this story and I'm sorry I came back to it so late. And another thing, a great story doesn't need any member cent pumps to sell it, it's the writing that sells it, okay. If the story wasn't good, I wouldn't have come back to it, understand? You're a great writer and don't sell yourself short (please). I went back to reread a couple of chapters to refresh my memory--I noticed I didn't leave a review the last time so I did tonight. I've finished chapter 9 and now on my way to chapter 10.
Comment from adewpearl
I like your clear synopsis of former chapters - this is useful when I haven't read in a while.
Excellent action verbs like cut/strain/force/battle/irritate bring the scene to life and add to the intense emotion of this scary situation
She lay there in a fetal position... this line captures her state of mind so very well
Good use of natural-sounding dialogue that conveys the intense feelings of the speakers well
I can feel Esther's frustration as she tries to dial Steven
Excellent dialogue between Steven and Esther as she relates the danger she is in and he sounds outraged at her situation
Brooke
reply by the author on 27-May-2011
 |
I like your clear synopsis of former chapters - this is useful when I haven't read in a while.
Excellent action verbs like cut/strain/force/battle/irritate bring the scene to life and add to the intense emotion of this scary situation
She lay there in a fetal position... this line captures her state of mind so very well
Good use of natural-sounding dialogue that conveys the intense feelings of the speakers well
I can feel Esther's frustration as she tries to dial Steven
Excellent dialogue between Steven and Esther as she relates the danger she is in and he sounds outraged at her situation
Brooke
Comment Written 27-May-2011
reply by the author on 27-May-2011
-
Thank you so much for your reading and wonderful review. I'm writing the last chapter now.
Comment from lola29
This is a very long chapter, and I spent as much time as I could with the editing, which is my two cents worth. You're a terrific writer!
The sound of muffled distant voices woke her, causing alarm and fear. Whimpering, Esther tried to raise herself, but discovered she was bound.
In the blackness of her prison,
(.) She settled for three 1)"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - give the Bible book & chapter
new paragraph--She pulled at the rope
If she couldn't raise herself, how was she able to roll?
The paragraph beginning Doc called is very confusing.
After ordering dinner from room service, Doc
He read the English interpretation aloud:
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
Setting aside his laptop (,)
Connelly entered, looking for
He set the books on the table
new para - he put both both palms to his head
you can't bail out on me now (.)
Something big is going down (remove comma)
Now listen to me!
over a decade (,) and I'm this close
new para - I'm not going to let
Steve--
Steven stood, staring at the storm
reply by the author on 25-May-2011
|
This is a very long chapter, and I spent as much time as I could with the editing, which is my two cents worth. You're a terrific writer!
The sound of muffled distant voices woke her, causing alarm and fear. Whimpering, Esther tried to raise herself, but discovered she was bound.
In the blackness of her prison,
(.) She settled for three 1)"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" - give the Bible book & chapter
new paragraph--She pulled at the rope
If she couldn't raise herself, how was she able to roll?
The paragraph beginning Doc called is very confusing.
After ordering dinner from room service, Doc
He read the English interpretation aloud:
His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
Setting aside his laptop (,)
Connelly entered, looking for
He set the books on the table
new para - he put both both palms to his head
you can't bail out on me now (.)
Something big is going down (remove comma)
Now listen to me!
over a decade (,) and I'm this close
new para - I'm not going to let
Steve--
Steven stood, staring at the storm
Comment Written 25-May-2011
reply by the author on 25-May-2011
-
Thank you.
Comment from JudyS
I seem have come into this story well after the beginning but I was able to piece together what is happening. Wonderful! I find the characters believable. The action and suspense have left me wanting to read more. Very well written, a great read.
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
|
I seem have come into this story well after the beginning but I was able to piece together what is happening. Wonderful! I find the characters believable. The action and suspense have left me wanting to read more. Very well written, a great read.
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
-
Thank you Judy. I really appreciate your comments.
Comment from forestport12
Gripping chapter. I liked how you simply stated she was not gagged and the reasons why. I love the scene as it unfolds. Since I'm not good with mechanical aspects, buy the dialogue felt believable, and the the way you ended the chapter made you hunger for more. Stan
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
|
Gripping chapter. I liked how you simply stated she was not gagged and the reasons why. I love the scene as it unfolds. Since I'm not good with mechanical aspects, buy the dialogue felt believable, and the the way you ended the chapter made you hunger for more. Stan
Comment Written 04-May-2011
reply by the author on 04-May-2011
-
Thank you so much Stan. I really appreciate your stopping by and commenting. Blessings to you my friend.
Comment from WilliamDeen
Good writing. A very enjoyable read from beginning to end with good action, details, dialogue, and descriptions. I like the characters also.
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
|
Good writing. A very enjoyable read from beginning to end with good action, details, dialogue, and descriptions. I like the characters also.
Comment Written 03-May-2011
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
-
Thank you WilliamDeen. I really appreciated your review.
Comment from MacNizzle
Ooh my heart is beating fast! lol I like that you have kicked up the action a notch. I was reading the other reviews and I actually think that Steven is your best character because he is flawed and his flaws are very apparent. I like the fact that he doesn't "believe" just yet. I think you should save that revelation for later - the ending climax perhaps.
There were a few places where POV was shifting -
The paragraph starting with "Back home, the Reverend and Mrs. West..." I thought may not be necessary because it does pull us out of Esther's POV section and is information that could be worked in through her or Steven's thoughts.
Also, the paragraph starting with "Doc was in his room busing himself with tracking the UPC" This info is also a POV shift and can be worked in through dialog when Doc is talking to Steven after Esther's phone call.
I am intrigued by where this is going. I thought Madame Reece was a good person but now I have doubts - one sign of an excellent story :) Cheers and happy writing M:)
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
|
Ooh my heart is beating fast! lol I like that you have kicked up the action a notch. I was reading the other reviews and I actually think that Steven is your best character because he is flawed and his flaws are very apparent. I like the fact that he doesn't "believe" just yet. I think you should save that revelation for later - the ending climax perhaps.
There were a few places where POV was shifting -
The paragraph starting with "Back home, the Reverend and Mrs. West..." I thought may not be necessary because it does pull us out of Esther's POV section and is information that could be worked in through her or Steven's thoughts.
Also, the paragraph starting with "Doc was in his room busing himself with tracking the UPC" This info is also a POV shift and can be worked in through dialog when Doc is talking to Steven after Esther's phone call.
I am intrigued by where this is going. I thought Madame Reece was a good person but now I have doubts - one sign of an excellent story :) Cheers and happy writing M:)
Comment Written 03-May-2011
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
-
Thank you for reading and keeping up with my novelette. However, I've been told this before, about the shifting POV, bo I guess I need to put this in my author notes: I am writing in what is called the "Third-person subjective, which means the narrator (me) conveys the thoughts of one or more characters. Unlike the "third-person limited which only conveys the thoughts of the protagonist. I pray that I will do the ending justice. I'm going to work hard on the ending. Thanks again for supporting me.
-
Thank you for reading and keeping up with my novelette. However, I've been told this before, about the shifting POV, but I guess I need to put this in my author notes: I am writing in what is called the "Third-person subjective, which means the narrator (me) conveys the thoughts of one or more characters. Unlike the "third-person limited which only conveys the thoughts of the protagonist. I pray that I will do the ending justice. I'm going to work hard on the ending. Thanks again for supporting me.
Comment from MS Writer
I enjoy reading this continuing suspensful story. The descriptions and characters are great. I did find a few things that you may want to take a look at:
his pocket for a tip while walking
?excuse my ignorance but what is a "tip"?
He wanted Steven to latch out at him,
?He wanted Steven to lash out at him,
tried to straiten her hand
?tried to straighten her hand
He had been sleep for a couple of hours.
?He had been asleep for a couple of hours.
just as it looked at that present time.
?Not sure which time you mean - now or in the past?
Great read!
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
|
I enjoy reading this continuing suspensful story. The descriptions and characters are great. I did find a few things that you may want to take a look at:
his pocket for a tip while walking
?excuse my ignorance but what is a "tip"?
He wanted Steven to latch out at him,
?He wanted Steven to lash out at him,
tried to straiten her hand
?tried to straighten her hand
He had been sleep for a couple of hours.
?He had been asleep for a couple of hours.
just as it looked at that present time.
?Not sure which time you mean - now or in the past?
Great read!
Comment Written 03-May-2011
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
-
Thank you MS Writer for taking the time to read and give comments. I went back and corrected at your suggestion. However, the American dictionary states, that "a 'tip' is a voluntary additional payment for service rendered." Example: tipping a cab driver, or a waiter in a restaurant. Or the guy who carries your luggage to your hotel room.
-
Wow, sorry I bothered you with "tip". It didn't register in my mind for some reason or other. I must have taken a stupid pill this morning!
-
No need to apologize; and lay off the pills. hehehe
Comment from dinoscribe
Revisiting the previous chapter is a good idea as it keeps every one up to speed. You imagery and dialogue is good. I'm glad to see that Doc and Steven are working well together. You keep the reader moving with the suspense that you crate in your writing. Good job there. Like the fact that Ester is still thinking straight, makes Stevens headlong behavior stand out more which makes the characters more individual. Good rhyme too, 'Three is the number...
Well written. :)
Would do me a favour and check out my book please? :)
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
|
Revisiting the previous chapter is a good idea as it keeps every one up to speed. You imagery and dialogue is good. I'm glad to see that Doc and Steven are working well together. You keep the reader moving with the suspense that you crate in your writing. Good job there. Like the fact that Ester is still thinking straight, makes Stevens headlong behavior stand out more which makes the characters more individual. Good rhyme too, 'Three is the number...
Well written. :)
Would do me a favour and check out my book please? :)
Comment Written 03-May-2011
reply by the author on 03-May-2011
-
Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate that you are following this story.
Comment from The Stranger
I guess that the answer Steven is looking for is within this cryptic message
"Three is the number to come into view
One is a dog; the other-a young girl
A raven's blood by a nearby creek
The third is a woman the name in a book."
Once he can unravel that, he should be able to make headways towards solving the puzzle
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
|
I guess that the answer Steven is looking for is within this cryptic message
"Three is the number to come into view
One is a dog; the other-a young girl
A raven's blood by a nearby creek
The third is a woman the name in a book."
Once he can unravel that, he should be able to make headways towards solving the puzzle
Comment Written 02-May-2011
reply by the author on 02-May-2011
-
Thanks Stranger for the review. Blessings.