A Walk In My Shoes
Be careful! What goes around, comes around.36 total reviews
Comment from Rachelle Allen
You have a tight, riveting style which I enjoy very much, and what you did with the turn of events here is impressive! Note to self: don't hit-and-run a guy in a green Army coat and imagine your life will remain the same!
Best of luck in the contest! I expect to see this one in the Winner's Circle!! xoxo
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025
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You have a tight, riveting style which I enjoy very much, and what you did with the turn of events here is impressive! Note to self: don't hit-and-run a guy in a green Army coat and imagine your life will remain the same!
Best of luck in the contest! I expect to see this one in the Winner's Circle!! xoxo
Comment Written 27-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 28-Mar-2025
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Thank you for the fantastic review and stars. Yep! Karma will tell you: what goes around comes around. This was a re-post from some years ago.
Sandollar
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I bet it was just as well-received back then. xo
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
And don't you portray karma so well here in this thoroughly immersive read. We haven't got time for our feet to touch the ground but I love this pace that leaves us spinning, reminded of how quickly our lives can change and the whirlwind of responses that can follow. A woman with everything is left as a reborn carbon copy of the man with nothing she killed, this is creatively powerful.
Perhaps no need to precede: "He crashed into the windscreen" with "So she decided not to stop or slow down." As the impact was inevitable.
Thank you for sharing this original and entertaining story. Take care Debbie
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
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And don't you portray karma so well here in this thoroughly immersive read. We haven't got time for our feet to touch the ground but I love this pace that leaves us spinning, reminded of how quickly our lives can change and the whirlwind of responses that can follow. A woman with everything is left as a reborn carbon copy of the man with nothing she killed, this is creatively powerful.
Perhaps no need to precede: "He crashed into the windscreen" with "So she decided not to stop or slow down." As the impact was inevitable.
Thank you for sharing this original and entertaining story. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 27-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 29-Mar-2025
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Thank you very much for the review and the star rating. I appreciate the way you can break down and get to the essence of the work. This is a re-post. I wrote it several years ago. It has been well-received.
Sandollar
Comment from Wendy G
I wish I had a six for you for this moving story which makes its point very well. It's very well written, and quite thought-provoking. It's also very creepy seeing the way her life turned around - justice perhaps for her devaluation of human life. Well done.
Wendy
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2025
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I wish I had a six for you for this moving story which makes its point very well. It's very well written, and quite thought-provoking. It's also very creepy seeing the way her life turned around - justice perhaps for her devaluation of human life. Well done.
Wendy
Comment Written 27-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 27-Mar-2025
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Thank you so much for your great review. This is a re-post as well. I wanted to see if my story would still be well-received after so much time. I am pleased they are still enjoyable.
Sandollar
Comment from Harambe iz ur Daddy
This is quite an intriguing contest. Two of the entries in the contest appear to have been deleted, presumably by the site, which is unusual, and lots of people entered but their entries aren't visible (is that because the contest was 15 years ago?? That's the only thing that makes sense.)
This is well edited and my default suggestion would be more paragraph breaks. One paragraph for the entire opening sequence of events is quite something! Like one straight camera shot. If you meant to do that though, I suppose you might do well to stick with it, because it passes off the incident as part of the opening frame. But, if you were to insert one break early on, I would do it right before here: "Kira ran a tight ship."
If you are open to adding more paragraph breaks, here is where I would put them:
=> But the same green army blanket had also been on the old man this morning.
=> She didn't see the old man cross in front of her until it was too late to stop
=> She stared at the face, looking back at her
=> Memories of her old life flashed before her eyes
Thanks for sharing this notable writing piece,
🦍
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2025
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This is quite an intriguing contest. Two of the entries in the contest appear to have been deleted, presumably by the site, which is unusual, and lots of people entered but their entries aren't visible (is that because the contest was 15 years ago?? That's the only thing that makes sense.)
This is well edited and my default suggestion would be more paragraph breaks. One paragraph for the entire opening sequence of events is quite something! Like one straight camera shot. If you meant to do that though, I suppose you might do well to stick with it, because it passes off the incident as part of the opening frame. But, if you were to insert one break early on, I would do it right before here: "Kira ran a tight ship."
If you are open to adding more paragraph breaks, here is where I would put them:
=> But the same green army blanket had also been on the old man this morning.
=> She didn't see the old man cross in front of her until it was too late to stop
=> She stared at the face, looking back at her
=> Memories of her old life flashed before her eyes
Thanks for sharing this notable writing piece,
🦍
Comment Written 26-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2025
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You are correct. This contest was fifteen years ago. The site allows us to revive old works. I was curious to see how my story would be judged this many years later.
Thank you for your review and the exceptional rating. I appreciate it.
Sandollar
Comment from LJbutterfly
You should have won that contest. This story was thoroughly creepy. I'm glad you reposted it so more people could enjoy it. It is perfectly written and includes very clear descriptions and dialogue. The ending, with Kira looking up at her office window was chilling and unsettling. Great story.
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2025
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You should have won that contest. This story was thoroughly creepy. I'm glad you reposted it so more people could enjoy it. It is perfectly written and includes very clear descriptions and dialogue. The ending, with Kira looking up at her office window was chilling and unsettling. Great story.
Comment Written 26-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 26-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your fantastic review and the star rating. It was reposted, and it's still enjoyable, and yes, a little creepy. Thank you for the excellent critique.
Sandollar
Comment from Karen Cherry
Intriguing. Don't see you around much. You wrote this well.
I was with you start to finish. Hope you win. You redid an old Twilight Episode in grand style. Good Work, Karen
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Intriguing. Don't see you around much. You wrote this well.
I was with you start to finish. Hope you win. You redid an old Twilight Episode in grand style. Good Work, Karen
Comment Written 25-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your review and rating. I am an old Twilight Zone fan. I don't remember this one, although I wouldn't discount it. Mr.Serling and I thinking alike? I'm honored.
Sandollar
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It's not exactly the same but similar. We all have to get our ideas from somewhere. Karen
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a very interesting contest entry. It's very creative and very well written. I would say Karma is at work. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.
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They'd barely sat down before she laced into them. (down is an unnecessary extra word, it's understood)
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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This is a very interesting contest entry. It's very creative and very well written. I would say Karma is at work. I enjoyed reading and want to wish you luck with the contest.
Â
They'd barely sat down before she laced into them. (down is an unnecessary extra word, it's understood)
Comment Written 25-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your review and rating. Yeah, it's cosmic justice.
What goes around, comes around.
Comment from Kirsten Shonle
When I began reading the story, I thought it was only going to be about Kira and her job. I was surprised when she killed a man on her way to work. The she got scared of the picture of the man, made perfect sense. I love at the end that she turned into the homeless man and another blond woman has taken her place.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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When I began reading the story, I thought it was only going to be about Kira and her job. I was surprised when she killed a man on her way to work. The she got scared of the picture of the man, made perfect sense. I love at the end that she turned into the homeless man and another blond woman has taken her place.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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I am very happy you enjoyed the story. She got as they say what her hand called for. She was very cavalier about this man's life. Kira, clearly, was not a good person. Thank you for your review and the stars.
Sandollar
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is certainly creepy. The first shock is that she can't miss running the man down so she hits him and leaves. The next shock is having her car fixed without thinking about why it is damaged. The third shock is the picture that could not be there. And the finale is falling down the stairs and discovering she has turned into the man she killed. Truly a well-constructed, scary story.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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This is certainly creepy. The first shock is that she can't miss running the man down so she hits him and leaves. The next shock is having her car fixed without thinking about why it is damaged. The third shock is the picture that could not be there. And the finale is falling down the stairs and discovering she has turned into the man she killed. Truly a well-constructed, scary story.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your review and rating. Yes, this is creepy, but I wanted to stress the point of what goes around, comes around. I am glad you enjoyed it.
Sandollar
Comment from mermaids
Your story drew me in and held my interest. The main character is unlikable and it looks like she is learning a lesson the hard way. You have good character development and a creation of vivid scenes that make your tale stand out. Excellent writing here.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Your story drew me in and held my interest. The main character is unlikable and it looks like she is learning a lesson the hard way. You have good character development and a creation of vivid scenes that make your tale stand out. Excellent writing here.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2025
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Thank you for the wonderful review and the star rating. I am pleased you enjoyed my story. I believe in karma, so I wanted my villain to experience it totally.
Sandollar
