I Called Her Mom
Final Journey22 total reviews
Comment from amel
"her beauty, like a sunset as the last flames of gold caress the coming of night".
I could feel through this line how deep your love is to the woman you beloved and respect so much. Your chosen words are awe some, fast digits.
Her attitude reminds me of my beloved grandmother who never told about her desperate times, she kept it herself:
"She never spoke of the desperate times she faced in Poland, only jokingly thinking of coming to America, meet her white knight, a fantasy of a young girl who dreamed impossible dreams, which did come true."
ooooh you made me sat in tears. This story touching me soooo much. Having read this story I felt like I would kiss her feet (This is the way I did to my parents and grandparents as a courtesy every time I met them). What a wise lady she is. Thank you for sharing me, fast digits. Now I know something new. So sad I don't have my six . How so sad. This should be six stars.
love, amel
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
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"her beauty, like a sunset as the last flames of gold caress the coming of night".
I could feel through this line how deep your love is to the woman you beloved and respect so much. Your chosen words are awe some, fast digits.
Her attitude reminds me of my beloved grandmother who never told about her desperate times, she kept it herself:
"She never spoke of the desperate times she faced in Poland, only jokingly thinking of coming to America, meet her white knight, a fantasy of a young girl who dreamed impossible dreams, which did come true."
ooooh you made me sat in tears. This story touching me soooo much. Having read this story I felt like I would kiss her feet (This is the way I did to my parents and grandparents as a courtesy every time I met them). What a wise lady she is. Thank you for sharing me, fast digits. Now I know something new. So sad I don't have my six . How so sad. This should be six stars.
love, amel
Comment Written 19-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 19-Mar-2010
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As always, thank you for stopping by and for your understanding and gracious review.
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Comment from adewpearl
laying peacefully - lying
thinking of coming to America, meet - thinking of coming to America and meeting
You have used the contest words without forcing anything and you have written a poignant and thoughtful portrait in tribute to the narrator's mother - this is quite lovely. Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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laying peacefully - lying
thinking of coming to America, meet - thinking of coming to America and meeting
You have used the contest words without forcing anything and you have written a poignant and thoughtful portrait in tribute to the narrator's mother - this is quite lovely. Brooke
Comment Written 16-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2010
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As always, thank you so much for stopping by and for your helpful comments. I'll bear them in mind for my next writing, look over my posting more closely.
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Comment from Phoenix Rising
Beautiful words and thoughts to a mother whose spirit lives on in the heart. Lovely emotions well expressed in this 100 word short story enty.
Best of luck to you fastdigits.
Phoenix Rising
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Beautiful words and thoughts to a mother whose spirit lives on in the heart. Lovely emotions well expressed in this 100 word short story enty.
Best of luck to you fastdigits.
Phoenix Rising
Comment Written 10-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Thank you for stopping by and kind review.
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Comment from redrider6612
This was okay, but it wasn't really a complete story. There were a lot of words that needed trimming, and there's no twist at the end. Micro fiction must be tight and lean, with a minimum of description. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This was okay, but it wasn't really a complete story. There were a lot of words that needed trimming, and there's no twist at the end. Micro fiction must be tight and lean, with a minimum of description. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
Comment from NeuralSplyce
The story has some poetic moments, but some of the lines felt too contrived to get the key words in. I didn't notice any SPAG or ways to improve on the story.
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The story has some poetic moments, but some of the lines felt too contrived to get the key words in. I didn't notice any SPAG or ways to improve on the story.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
Comment from Ann Smith
How sad but how true that each of us is going to face this part of our journey someday. You told the story well and with clear detail. I like the story of coming to America to meet her white knight. I especially like the last line. Good luck with the contest. ann
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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How sad but how true that each of us is going to face this part of our journey someday. You told the story well and with clear detail. I like the story of coming to America to meet her white knight. I especially like the last line. Good luck with the contest. ann
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
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Comment from WRITER1
A lovely tribute to this woman who you loved. This is a good entry for the contest. It is hard to write about something with so little words. You did well.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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A lovely tribute to this woman who you loved. This is a good entry for the contest. It is hard to write about something with so little words. You did well.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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Thank you for stopping by
Comment from patwannabe
author, this is beautiful. What a lovely tribute to your mother. She sounds like an angel.
One error, it would be a good idea to change "laying" to "lying" to make your sentence correct.
Thank you for sharing her with us, pat
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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author, this is beautiful. What a lovely tribute to your mother. She sounds like an angel.
One error, it would be a good idea to change "laying" to "lying" to make your sentence correct.
Thank you for sharing her with us, pat
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
Beautifully written story of a life of struggle.
There are some striking images contained in the story such as; 'lying in her final bed of wood.'
Inspirational, and a good contest entry.
Juliette
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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Beautifully written story of a life of struggle.
There are some striking images contained in the story such as; 'lying in her final bed of wood.'
Inspirational, and a good contest entry.
Juliette
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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Thank you for stopping by
Comment from Agrona
A beautiful little story, good use of the 10 words. I also like your picture choice. Well done and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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A beautiful little story, good use of the 10 words. I also like your picture choice. Well done and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2010
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
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Thank you for stopping by