Reviews from

The Best Bargain

The Most Memorable 100 Euros I've Ever Spent.

14 total reviews 
Comment from redrider6612
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This wasn't bad, but it lacked a twist at the end to make it memorable.

a suggestion:

My heart was beating rapidly.--passive

Overall, a decent effort. Keep working at it. Micro fiction takes skill acquired by practice. Best wishes in the contest.


 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

Comment from NeuralSplyce
Excellent
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Looks good. No SPAG spotted and no suggestions for improving the story.

These girls looks Eastern European and not some nice Dutch girls. Should have bargained for a better price.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

Comment from WRITER1
Excellent
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I would say you got a really good deal. That is wonderful that the government makes sure that these valuable commodities are clean.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

Comment from Agrona
Excellent
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LOL yup I know about the Amsterdam district. My step mom told accidentally entered that place, while on vacation there. If you are not a guy, you better not stumble into that district LOL

Interesting little story. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

Comment from warbler
Excellent
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You used all of the words and they worked well in your story. I enjoyed reading it. The photo works very well with the story. It was unique.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
    Thanks for reading my story, warbler. I appreciate your comments.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
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Writer,

Two for the price of one...such a bargain...that is unless they have other "things" to offer that might be detrimental to your health...But quite a story anyhow!

Carol

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
    Lol. Very true, Carol. It is Amsterdam, after all, lol. Thanks for a fun review.
Comment from Cooper Watt
Excellent
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Nice! And I must say, that's the sexiest damn picture I've ever seen on Fan Story. Holy mother, them girls is hot! Anyway, good luck with the contest, my friend, I like your tack.... Regards.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 09-Mar-2010
    Thanks, Coop. Yeah, the photo has a certain style to it, lol.
Comment from JeffreyStone
Excellent
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We know now where you get your inspiration. But as you surely know, sometimes you get more than you bargain for in those Red Light districts. An interesting read and use of the required words. I don't believe it was explicit or required an adult warning. JeffreyStone

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
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The Blonde was a virgin. (LOL) This is very well written with a smoothness to it, making for an easy read.Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    Lol, You never know.
reply by c_lucas on 08-Mar-2010
    You're welcome.
Comment from fastdigits
Excellent
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A tale superbly told of the
oldest profession in the world
through the eyes of an impressionable
man in this dream sequence that you
have manufactured, two for one, really.
Well done and good luck

 Comment Written 08-Mar-2010


reply by the author on 08-Mar-2010
    One can dream, can't they? Lol. Thanks for a fun review.