Reviews from

Once Upon A time

150 words .......

32 total reviews 
Comment from jasmh
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi. Interesting. I got the message about greed and it's costs and I love happy endings.
It was a vexing little contest with the short length and a wild mix of words. Congratulations on getting them all in but I really couldn't follow the story.
Keep having fun with it

 Comment Written 12-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 12-Mar-2010
    jasmh,

    Sorry you didn't follow the short story...thank you for the review. Carol
Comment from melyuki
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

hi there to you , writer of tales, this is a cute little tale with a great message to deliver for all who read it. Greed gets you no where, except back in the hole where you crawled out from in the first place.. a grand little piece of intrigue, leading to a happy ending. hugs to you oh great writer of tales.. luv Melxxxx

 Comment Written 10-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Sis,

    Thank you for gathering the message I was so trying to send to the vast world...one reader informed me I made absolutely no sense. Fairytales usually don't... Smiles and hugs, Sis
Comment from NeuralSplyce
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That's pretty good, although the ending is a bit jarring. Great way to incorporate the key words into the song. Didn't see any SPAG or ways to improve on the story.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    NeuralSplyce,

    Thankyou for the kind review of my silly fairytale...appreciate your thoughts and comments. Smiles, Carol
Comment from Ann Smith
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is very creative with the words you had to use. I like the dialogue and the imagery. I like the poem within the story, it changes up the mood. The evil woman got what she deserved. Good luck with the contest. ann

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Ann,

    Thank you so much for your kind and generous words. I appreciate it very much...Carol
Comment from redrider6612
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This was pretty good. The twist on the end was unexpected. The ditty from the peddler seemed to be out of place--kind of contrived in order to fit in the required words. It wasn't clear why the witch wouldn't let the children play and what she was doing to stop them. In short, the story didn't make a lot of sense. Best wishes in the contest.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    redrider...

    Sorry it wasn't your cup of tea...Thanks for reading. Smiles, Carol
Comment from WRITER1
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a good story in a short little contest. Very good job on this. At least they got rid of the wicked old lady. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Donna,

    Thanks for the wonderful review and taking the time to read the fairytale. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from OldVet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Cute and imaginative.
Suggestions:
"Be on your way[. or !]" Not a comma here.
Not too sure about the hyphens in: Everyone lived happily-ever-after

Good luck!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Old Vet

    Thanks for catching my mistake...Appreciate it very much and the kind comments. Carol
Comment from Agrona
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Awesome! I love fairy tales and happy endings! You made excellent use of the 10 words! AND you even rhymed! Well done and good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Agrona,

    Thank you so much for the generous review. I truly appreciate the comments...smiles to you, Carol
Comment from patwannabe
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

author, this is wonderful. I didn't realize until I saw your author notes that you made up the poem. Great job. One spot that needs fixin': either put a comma "Black heart so cold, me (comma) you'll never hold (COMMA)" OR capitalize "THE"

Well done. Great entry in the contest. pat

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Pat,

    Thanks so much for the wonderful and kind review. I always appreciate your comments. Smiles to you, Carol
Comment from miss joyce
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Creatively written story that could be a child's book. Nice imagery and flowed well as with words and song. A pleasure to read. Good luck in contest!

 Comment Written 09-Mar-2010

reply by the author on 10-Mar-2010
    Miss joyce,

    Thanks for the kind review. Smiles, Carol
reply by miss joyce on 10-Mar-2010
    A pleasure!