Blind Trust
Viewing comments for Chapter 34 "Free at Last"A woman is stalked by a fan
17 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
What an excellent flow, Annabelle. You've taken us smoothly through the next logical step in the yarn.
The only nit I can pick is this paragraph. Isn't there a way to avoid the use of 'knowing/knowing/know'. Three uses in the same paragraph seems like a lot.
Donnie studied the expression on Nathan's face. "How do you feel about our last session with Norman? Are you comfortable with knowing them? Knowing what they know?"
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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What an excellent flow, Annabelle. You've taken us smoothly through the next logical step in the yarn.
The only nit I can pick is this paragraph. Isn't there a way to avoid the use of 'knowing/knowing/know'. Three uses in the same paragraph seems like a lot.
Donnie studied the expression on Nathan's face. "How do you feel about our last session with Norman? Are you comfortable with knowing them? Knowing what they know?"
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2010
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CRASH! OMG! Freddie! Oh, it's so good to see you. It's been ages, buddy. So good to see you back. FS just isn't the same without you.
Thanks for the comments. I did that 'know' thing deliberately and it looks like it flopped.
Will catch. Thanks so much for the comments and for coming back!
Hugs,
Annabelle
Comment from Ritsal
Hi, I've been away from the site for awhile and haven't reviewed the other chapters. I wasn't familiar with the term "alters." It was obviously explained in a prior chapter. In any event, I enjoyed the fast paced read. It sounds like an exciting novel, and I look forward to more.
Best wishes,
Rita
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Hi, I've been away from the site for awhile and haven't reviewed the other chapters. I wasn't familiar with the term "alters." It was obviously explained in a prior chapter. In any event, I enjoyed the fast paced read. It sounds like an exciting novel, and I look forward to more.
Best wishes,
Rita
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Twinnie! Oh, thank you so much for the great pumps! I think that's the first time I've ever been on the first page. You da best, girlfriend!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from joelh605
Hmm - no nits, and I can see where the writers' block came from. It's tough to imagine N1 and N2 resolving their conflict. Since N2 has done the heavy lifting, his sense of competence - and an inner sense of entitlement, writ large in Cathy's case - are nearly insurmountable.
It occurs to suggest, from a seat in the bleachers, that the "real" person is going to be more than a committee, but rather an amalgam; N1 began by "knowing" he was a committee, but never being aware of any of the other members. Odd how this position of ignorance winds up entitling him to be the operative identidty, eh?
From up here where the air is thin and understanding even thinner, the though bubbles up of a debate where N2 raises each of these points, with the idealized consummation where N1 "defeats" N2 by assuming his knowledge and traits. Once N1 can, as himself, do what the committee has been doing for him, then even N2 should re-merge into the inner geist.
??
Just me using the last two cents I've got.
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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Hmm - no nits, and I can see where the writers' block came from. It's tough to imagine N1 and N2 resolving their conflict. Since N2 has done the heavy lifting, his sense of competence - and an inner sense of entitlement, writ large in Cathy's case - are nearly insurmountable.
It occurs to suggest, from a seat in the bleachers, that the "real" person is going to be more than a committee, but rather an amalgam; N1 began by "knowing" he was a committee, but never being aware of any of the other members. Odd how this position of ignorance winds up entitling him to be the operative identidty, eh?
From up here where the air is thin and understanding even thinner, the though bubbles up of a debate where N2 raises each of these points, with the idealized consummation where N1 "defeats" N2 by assuming his knowledge and traits. Once N1 can, as himself, do what the committee has been doing for him, then even N2 should re-merge into the inner geist.
??
Just me using the last two cents I've got.
Comment Written 08-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 08-Feb-2010
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LOL! They're spot on, Joel. And I'm STILL not sure how to do this with the maximum amount of realism. I have another chapter about ready to go. Like your suggestion about the 'nuggie', which I utilized, btw, I'd like you to keep up with the 'honest injun' ideas. I count on that, buddy! Thanks so much!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from c_lucas
I feel like I have missed a chapter. Stanley was just starting therapy, now he is free to continue his life. This is very well written.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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I feel like I have missed a chapter. Stanley was just starting therapy, now he is free to continue his life. This is very well written.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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They only leave the posts up for three days, Charlie, so a lot of people do that. They used to stay up thirty days, but now they only stay up for the length of time for the cert to run out. Sorry you missed some of the chapters.
Hugs and thanks,
Gayle
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You're welcome, Gayle. Sorry I missed some. Charlie
Comment from fictionwriter
Another great chapter. I would have liked to see more about how he came to grips with his alters. It was so skimmed over that I feel cheated. This was the interesting part and I really wanted to see it. Good job.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Another great chapter. I would have liked to see more about how he came to grips with his alters. It was so skimmed over that I feel cheated. This was the interesting part and I really wanted to see it. Good job.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Oh, we just skimmed this chapter because once Nathan gets home, he and Norman are going to get down to it and I ...well, I think you'll be satisfied with the way I did it. Hope, hope!
Thanks for the fine R&R and your encouragement.
Gayle
Comment from Dave M
Gayle,
I am sure this chapter was really difficult to write. Psychological dilemmas like this require a lot of research, and you had to get yourself a lot deeper into Nathan's abnormal mind than would have been needed for an adventure chapter.
I'm glad you finally posted it because it was delight to read, well worth a six-star rating.
Integration like this can be devastating. It's much like sudden self awareness. I would expect Norman to resurface and act as a very bad boy before it's all over.
Here are one suggestion and one passage I really liked:
"Well, hopefully we [we'll] answer some of that this morning."
"I can't remember the last time it rained." I love this paragraph. Nathan is obviously as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. But you don't say so, you show it in Nathan's babbling.
Dave
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Gayle,
I am sure this chapter was really difficult to write. Psychological dilemmas like this require a lot of research, and you had to get yourself a lot deeper into Nathan's abnormal mind than would have been needed for an adventure chapter.
I'm glad you finally posted it because it was delight to read, well worth a six-star rating.
Integration like this can be devastating. It's much like sudden self awareness. I would expect Norman to resurface and act as a very bad boy before it's all over.
Here are one suggestion and one passage I really liked:
"Well, hopefully we [we'll] answer some of that this morning."
"I can't remember the last time it rained." I love this paragraph. Nathan is obviously as nervous as a cat on a hot tin roof. But you don't say so, you show it in Nathan's babbling.
Dave
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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OMG! A sixer! Dave, thank you so much for that. I try to stay away from expository dialogue as much as I can.
Thanks so much for the great rating and for the encouragement. I can't thank you enough!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from FredCollingwood
It was well worth the wait. I don't tink there's much writer's block with you. You've posted all 34 chapters in a little over a month. And I've enjoyed every one I've read. Excellent writing.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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It was well worth the wait. I don't tink there's much writer's block with you. You've posted all 34 chapters in a little over a month. And I've enjoyed every one I've read. Excellent writing.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Well, you know where I've just been! What a wonderful way you have with words, Fred. Pure delight, no matter the subject.
I'll be around again!
Hugs,
Gayle
Comment from ZigzagMLT
Don't stop! We're waiting anxiously for more news from these characters!! Oh, I don't mean to add... there is block. Just write about not being able to write, and you'll see that something else will emerge... and then you work with things from there. It often works for me!
I loved this one, especially the elevator scene. Though I did find less detail in this shorter chapter than you've written in many of the others. Just an observation.
Two things: Well, hopefully we'll answer some
perhaps three dots or something to signal the change in chapter, location, time?
All the best with your next chapters. Know that you have an audience waiting to read you!
Thanks,
Zigzagmlt
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Don't stop! We're waiting anxiously for more news from these characters!! Oh, I don't mean to add... there is block. Just write about not being able to write, and you'll see that something else will emerge... and then you work with things from there. It often works for me!
I loved this one, especially the elevator scene. Though I did find less detail in this shorter chapter than you've written in many of the others. Just an observation.
Two things: Well, hopefully we'll answer some
perhaps three dots or something to signal the change in chapter, location, time?
All the best with your next chapters. Know that you have an audience waiting to read you!
Thanks,
Zigzagmlt
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Oh, Ziggy! You remembered me! It's been so long since I posted I figured everyone got tired of waiting. I feel so energized, I'm gonna go write another chapter!
Hugs and love,
Gayle
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YAY!! Z
Comment from patmedium
We all need a break now and then, Gayle.
You will move more freely now you've had a bit of time.
I hope you put it to good use and caught up with some other bits of your life which have been left on the shelf lately! LOL.
This is, as usual, on top form. I have felt well involved with this chapter... but I am feeling a strong doubt (as I feel sure I'm supposed to) about the norman energy.
Keep it up... I'm loving this book. Pat.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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We all need a break now and then, Gayle.
You will move more freely now you've had a bit of time.
I hope you put it to good use and caught up with some other bits of your life which have been left on the shelf lately! LOL.
This is, as usual, on top form. I have felt well involved with this chapter... but I am feeling a strong doubt (as I feel sure I'm supposed to) about the norman energy.
Keep it up... I'm loving this book. Pat.
Comment Written 07-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Hey Pat!
Thanks so much for the wonderful words and kind thoughts. Yes, I feel back in top form. I hate rain and it's rained for three days straight! GRRR!
Thanks so much!
Hugs,
Gayle
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A pleasure to read as usual. Pat.
Comment from Sasha
You managed to actually get me to feel sympathy for Nathan. But my gut tells me the story is just beginning and that Norman is up to no good. Great to have you back and that your writer's block is gone. I'm still entertaining my unwanted guest and hopefully she will be leaving sometime this week and I can get back to my book.
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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You managed to actually get me to feel sympathy for Nathan. But my gut tells me the story is just beginning and that Norman is up to no good. Great to have you back and that your writer's block is gone. I'm still entertaining my unwanted guest and hopefully she will be leaving sometime this week and I can get back to my book.
Comment Written 06-Feb-2010
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2010
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Feb. 5! She promised! Change the locks, or better still, move!
Ah, thanks so much for the encouragement. Just get these things, sometimes!
Yes, Norman is not going down without a fight. I'm just not sure who'll win!
Hugs and thanks,
Gayle