I See You
Flash fiction the power of YOU15 total reviews
Comment from Jim Wile
This one really hit home with me, Jess, for I have been here before. This is what depression looks like: staring at yourself in the mirror and seeing only your weaknesses and failures and none of your strengths and qualities. It's such a horrible place to be--facing your worst enemy who only wants to bring you down and keep you there.
But eventually we look up and see ourselves in a better light and know that we've been too hard on ourselves and really are trying.
This second person POV was the perfect vehicle for this message, which was so beautifully and accurately written.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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This one really hit home with me, Jess, for I have been here before. This is what depression looks like: staring at yourself in the mirror and seeing only your weaknesses and failures and none of your strengths and qualities. It's such a horrible place to be--facing your worst enemy who only wants to bring you down and keep you there.
But eventually we look up and see ourselves in a better light and know that we've been too hard on ourselves and really are trying.
This second person POV was the perfect vehicle for this message, which was so beautifully and accurately written.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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On point, as always, Jim. Thank you so much!
Xo
Jess
Comment from njcoleman
Wow! Jessica, you truly have massive talent. This is a powerful piece of work.
And this line: "every whisper of cruelty I called honesty".
As I'm reading, I'm thinking "this could be me talking to myself"! I was wondering, hoping almost, that it would end up there.
Awesome, work!!!
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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Wow! Jessica, you truly have massive talent. This is a powerful piece of work.
And this line: "every whisper of cruelty I called honesty".
As I'm reading, I'm thinking "this could be me talking to myself"! I was wondering, hoping almost, that it would end up there.
Awesome, work!!!
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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I'm so honored. Thank you, my friend! Xoxo
Comment from estory
This narrative takes us on the difficult journey through a troubled relationship, from those feelings of anger and even hate, those outstretched hands holding someone at bay, to the moment when the eyes lock and there is compassion, there is forgiveness, there is an acknowledgement that the narrator bears some responsibility for the damage. And the repair begins. The emotion comes through in the voice, but somehow it is lacking the other side of the relationship. I think it would be better if you expanded this into more of a story, with a dialogue between these two people, hashing out the emotional struggle in conversation. estory
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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This narrative takes us on the difficult journey through a troubled relationship, from those feelings of anger and even hate, those outstretched hands holding someone at bay, to the moment when the eyes lock and there is compassion, there is forgiveness, there is an acknowledgement that the narrator bears some responsibility for the damage. And the repair begins. The emotion comes through in the voice, but somehow it is lacking the other side of the relationship. I think it would be better if you expanded this into more of a story, with a dialogue between these two people, hashing out the emotional struggle in conversation. estory
Comment Written 02-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2025
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estory, thank you so much for this feedback. A twist is revealed in a line at the end, indicating to whom the narrative is speaking. I'm now wondering if it might be too subtle.
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I think this is better as a story with two characters, discussing this situation through dialogue, expressing their emotions, with all the tension stretching and breaking between them. estory
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I often have conversations with myself. You did a great job revealing emotion with this contest entry. Thank you for sharing it with us and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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I often have conversations with myself. You did a great job revealing emotion with this contest entry. Thank you for sharing it with us and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much. Xo
Comment from Begin Again
Terrific job, Jessica. I could see the emotion and the tide coming in and flowing out until the truth in yourself was shown. Great entry. I enjoyed it very much.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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Terrific job, Jessica. I could see the emotion and the tide coming in and flowing out until the truth in yourself was shown. Great entry. I enjoyed it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much, Carol. Xo
Comment from June Sargent
We all need to have this conversation with ourselves from time to time. We can only beat ourselves up so much. Then we need to lick our wounds and heal. Only we can see our own potential from within. Without judgment,
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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We all need to have this conversation with ourselves from time to time. We can only beat ourselves up so much. Then we need to lick our wounds and heal. Only we can see our own potential from within. Without judgment,
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2025
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Thank you so much, June. Xo
Comment from Nicki.B
Wow this gave goosebumps what an excellent flash story on the power of 'You.
You really took this deep with the core of existence, I was reading through each paragraph, grasping by everyone word. I think it's a piece that most people will relate to in poem way or another.
I love that it ends with positivity and hope.
Well done read this few times I really enjoyed it
Good luck with the contest!
Well done
Nicki x
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Wow this gave goosebumps what an excellent flash story on the power of 'You.
You really took this deep with the core of existence, I was reading through each paragraph, grasping by everyone word. I think it's a piece that most people will relate to in poem way or another.
I love that it ends with positivity and hope.
Well done read this few times I really enjoyed it
Good luck with the contest!
Well done
Nicki x
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
You're so crafty, Jess (literally). You had me completely taken in by this tirade of verbal abuse, believing what an obnoxious person this must be although, simultaneously, thinking you were coming on a bit strong! Then your tone started softening and the unravelling began and I thought, maybe, there is a way back for this poor, beleaguered individual:) Never did I see the final, clever twist at the end. And I think this revelation was further disguised by the title of the prompt which made me think of a second person. This is superb, Jess, and a virtual six from me. I was completely immersed. Take care Debbie
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You're so crafty, Jess (literally). You had me completely taken in by this tirade of verbal abuse, believing what an obnoxious person this must be although, simultaneously, thinking you were coming on a bit strong! Then your tone started softening and the unravelling began and I thought, maybe, there is a way back for this poor, beleaguered individual:) Never did I see the final, clever twist at the end. And I think this revelation was further disguised by the title of the prompt which made me think of a second person. This is superb, Jess, and a virtual six from me. I was completely immersed. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
Comment from patcelaw
Many times in life, we will find that there are times that we are our own worst enemy and we do not know how to get a hold of the person we call ourselves. I think many people will wind up very seriously depressed if they don't know really who they are or what they're here for. Patricia.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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Many times in life, we will find that there are times that we are our own worst enemy and we do not know how to get a hold of the person we call ourselves. I think many people will wind up very seriously depressed if they don't know really who they are or what they're here for. Patricia.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was very stirring. I think one of the hardest things to do is to forgive yourself for your "flaws". We constantly compare others success stories and blow their achievements up in our minds, while we minimize our own. This was an amazing piece of writing. Gretchen
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This was very stirring. I think one of the hardest things to do is to forgive yourself for your "flaws". We constantly compare others success stories and blow their achievements up in our minds, while we minimize our own. This was an amazing piece of writing. Gretchen
Comment Written 01-Apr-2025
