No - Say It Ain't So!
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "NO! Say It Ain't So! Ch 24"I woke up one morning feeling...
7 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Sadly, it sounds as if you know the President Personally. Some of what he says sounds exactly like your dialogue. Sorry it too so long to get to this. Husband, dog and I took a rest vacation and ended up seeing some horrific tornado damage.
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Sadly, it sounds as if you know the President Personally. Some of what he says sounds exactly like your dialogue. Sorry it too so long to get to this. Husband, dog and I took a rest vacation and ended up seeing some horrific tornado damage.
Comment Written 21-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 21-Mar-2025
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Happy for your vacation!
There's a lot of Trump out there. And he is pretty transparent.
Thank you for your very nice review.
Comment from Faith Williams
Tom's quote here is huge: "I was a bit amazed at the power I suddenly wielded." It will be interesting to see if power changes Tom. Also, it opened my eyes to the choice of The Hobbit.
Suggestions to consider:
On my first pass at this passage, I was confused who was speaking at one point.
"How could I not?" I figured any other response would set off her alarms. "Imagine how hard it's been to anticipate."
"I do. Trust me on that."
(Maybe add some narration or a dialogue tag to join these two sentences.)
"Do you have a theory? How to predict. Anticipate?"
"No, Ma'am. This is all flying blind."
McGyver. I believe it's spelled MacGyver.
Of course, Trump would be asking questions about the ring of power. And totally ignore it's destructiveness.
Interesting fact I recently came across: Did you know the correct way to spell the plural of dwarf is dwarfs? And that it is only because of Tolkien, it is now acceptable to spell it dwarves?
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Tom's quote here is huge: "I was a bit amazed at the power I suddenly wielded." It will be interesting to see if power changes Tom. Also, it opened my eyes to the choice of The Hobbit.
Suggestions to consider:
On my first pass at this passage, I was confused who was speaking at one point.
"How could I not?" I figured any other response would set off her alarms. "Imagine how hard it's been to anticipate."
"I do. Trust me on that."
(Maybe add some narration or a dialogue tag to join these two sentences.)
"Do you have a theory? How to predict. Anticipate?"
"No, Ma'am. This is all flying blind."
McGyver. I believe it's spelled MacGyver.
Of course, Trump would be asking questions about the ring of power. And totally ignore it's destructiveness.
Interesting fact I recently came across: Did you know the correct way to spell the plural of dwarf is dwarfs? And that it is only because of Tolkien, it is now acceptable to spell it dwarves?
Comment Written 17-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2025
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Did not know about Tolkien's influence regarding dwarfs - interesting. I just noticed that Word underlined dwarves in red. Cool!
Thank you for your great review!
Comment from lyenochka
I was about to review but got distracted with housework. Well, back to poor Tom taking care of both Trump and Phil and trying not to be too noticed. But there is a lot of suspicions now that he's the president's favorite no matter which personality he is. I wonder how it is in real life. I'm pretty sure the real Trump wouldn't be interested in Bilbo as it takes too much attention to keep track of all the characters.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2025
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I was about to review but got distracted with housework. Well, back to poor Tom taking care of both Trump and Phil and trying not to be too noticed. But there is a lot of suspicions now that he's the president's favorite no matter which personality he is. I wonder how it is in real life. I'm pretty sure the real Trump wouldn't be interested in Bilbo as it takes too much attention to keep track of all the characters.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2025
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Thank you. You're probably right about Trump lacking the faculties to read The Hobbit, but maybe being read to.. like King Saul being sung to.
Comment from jim vecchio
Well, you're continuing the tale without a hitch. All that talk about McDonad's reminded me of the time I morphed into Ronald McDonald.
Unfortunately, I was in Burger King t the time and got trampled. Then I morphed into the Burger King but found myself in McDonld's.
I finally was reunited with my cowboy hat at Arby's.
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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Well, you're continuing the tale without a hitch. All that talk about McDonad's reminded me of the time I morphed into Ronald McDonald.
Unfortunately, I was in Burger King t the time and got trampled. Then I morphed into the Burger King but found myself in McDonld's.
I finally was reunited with my cowboy hat at Arby's.
Comment Written 14-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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Thank goodness for the hat. Otherwise you might be 124 years old. smiley face here
Thank you for the review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This was such a read! Your dialogue is perfect! I love how you capture Trump's voice in such a natural way. The wit had me grinning the whole time - especially the elf DNA bit! The safe house scene was smooth and interesting. You balance humor and suspense so well! Can't wait to see what happens next!
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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This was such a read! Your dialogue is perfect! I love how you capture Trump's voice in such a natural way. The wit had me grinning the whole time - especially the elf DNA bit! The safe house scene was smooth and interesting. You balance humor and suspense so well! Can't wait to see what happens next!
Comment Written 14-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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Thank you!
Your reviews mean a great deal to me.
Comment from Wendy G
Lol. What a chapter! So now he'sinterested in elves and dwarves and a gold ring. Dear me. I suppose maybe he might start to read more widely, and perhaps even read some biographies of som great and wise leaders. Perhaps his next story could be "The Emperor's New Clothes" (very apy!) Who knows? Somehow too you're going to have to get him to reverse the "Gulf of America" idea, and the annexing of Greenland, adopting Canada, etc. Perhaps he could think that if the rest of the world wanted him to be their leader, they would ask, or beg or grovel, and that if they don't do that, maybe he should keep his hands away from them.
Wendy
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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Lol. What a chapter! So now he'sinterested in elves and dwarves and a gold ring. Dear me. I suppose maybe he might start to read more widely, and perhaps even read some biographies of som great and wise leaders. Perhaps his next story could be "The Emperor's New Clothes" (very apy!) Who knows? Somehow too you're going to have to get him to reverse the "Gulf of America" idea, and the annexing of Greenland, adopting Canada, etc. Perhaps he could think that if the rest of the world wanted him to be their leader, they would ask, or beg or grovel, and that if they don't do that, maybe he should keep his hands away from them.
Wendy
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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This morning the news is that he's ordered the Defense Dept to draw up plans to take over the Panama Canal. The real Trump is crazier than my Trump.
Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
They call it noon because that's lunchtime? I may have to Google "noon" because I don't get it.
You make him sound crazy with the elf and dwarf DNA, but then...
Next he'll have his aides trying to come up with a magic ring he can use to govern. It's as good as anything else, I suppose.
I wonder if this will end with Phil being the president for four years.
See ya soon!
xo
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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They call it noon because that's lunchtime? I may have to Google "noon" because I don't get it.
You make him sound crazy with the elf and dwarf DNA, but then...
Next he'll have his aides trying to come up with a magic ring he can use to govern. It's as good as anything else, I suppose.
I wonder if this will end with Phil being the president for four years.
See ya soon!
xo
Comment Written 14-Mar-2025
reply by the author on 14-Mar-2025
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Thank you for your very kind review.
I don't know 'what' I was thinking on the 'noon' thing. I'm sure I had a concept of an idea.
The craziness will be made clear soon. But realistically, the switching could cause it. (What am I saying, 'realistically'?) smiley face here
