No - Say It Ain't So!
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "NO! Say It Ain't So, Ch. 7, 8"I woke up one morning feeling...
6 total reviews
Comment from Harry Craft
He sat waiting for the frozen Jimmie Dean to be ready. This was my favorite line in the whole story Wayne. That is great sausage lol! I truly enjoyed reading this story. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2025
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He sat waiting for the frozen Jimmie Dean to be ready. This was my favorite line in the whole story Wayne. That is great sausage lol! I truly enjoyed reading this story. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 26-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2025
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Thank you very much. I appreciate the feedback.
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You are so welcome Wayne!
Comment from lyenochka
Okay, things are getting more complicated but in numerous places you got me laughing out loud. I really do think it would be fine to do it third person as you add more POVs. I have seen people do the changing between multiple POVs as Jim Wile does it with a Name at the top of each changed POV. I still think you can show what is in a person's thoughts by using italics. Great job with this!
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2025
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Okay, things are getting more complicated but in numerous places you got me laughing out loud. I really do think it would be fine to do it third person as you add more POVs. I have seen people do the changing between multiple POVs as Jim Wile does it with a Name at the top of each changed POV. I still think you can show what is in a person's thoughts by using italics. Great job with this!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2025
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Thank you. Do you mean thoughts of other voices in italics, persons not the 1st person POV?
"I see you're up early?" Mrs Kravetts.
italics (which I can't make here) "Don't see it's any of your business," Mrs. Kravetts thought.
Like that?
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I think you can keep it all in third person and just show the thoughts in italics:
"I see you're up early," observed Mrs Kravetts.
Don't see it's any of your business.
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Anything you want in italics just use and open angle bracket and "i" close angle bracket .and end the text with open angle bracket slash "i" close angle bracket. Like THIS
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My keyboard does not have angle brackets.
[]{}()
Thank you, though.
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That looks good. Would it work in first?
"I see you're up early," I said.
Don't see it's any of your business. (italics)
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I think so. It seems to be a fairly common convention to use italics - to me, anyway.
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What?! What are the characters over your comma and period? Shift+those characters give you < >
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I couldn't make it work. Websites say the <> are not open/closed angles but greater than, less than characters. They show angle brackets as large as a slash.
But using the one on the period and comma keys didn't work for me, either.
Thank you for helping, though.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
With luck, Betty will kill the real Trump while Phil is home paying his bills. But there is the problem of getting rid of the VP, so he doesn't replace Trump. Phil needs to get back into the Trump body to fix more of the things Trump did wrong. So, how did the switch take place?
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2025
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With luck, Betty will kill the real Trump while Phil is home paying his bills. But there is the problem of getting rid of the VP, so he doesn't replace Trump. Phil needs to get back into the Trump body to fix more of the things Trump did wrong. So, how did the switch take place?
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2025
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Thank you for your very nice review. No one knows why or how the switches happen. No scientist knows they are happening. It's an unexplained metaphysical phenomenon.
Comment from Wendy G
An imaginative (and yet realistic) read. His confusion and horror were well expressed. The dialogue is realistic and thoughtful. I think the two chapters together worked well.
Wendy
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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An imaginative (and yet realistic) read. His confusion and horror were well expressed. The dialogue is realistic and thoughtful. I think the two chapters together worked well.
Wendy
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Thank you very much! And for the six stars!
Fortunately, these chapters were both short.
Comment from jim vecchio
It was good thinking to combine the two chapters.They read well, weren't overly long. The pizza reminded me of the time I sent for take-out pizza. The pizza man came, I morphed into him, he sat down, enjoyed my pizza, and when he was done, we morphed back. I never got to taste that pizza. Oh, well, keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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It was good thinking to combine the two chapters.They read well, weren't overly long. The pizza reminded me of the time I sent for take-out pizza. The pizza man came, I morphed into him, he sat down, enjoyed my pizza, and when he was done, we morphed back. I never got to taste that pizza. Oh, well, keep up the great work!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Hilarious!
I hope you ordered another one.
Thank you for your great review.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This was wonderful! The dialogue is natural. It makes it all feel more real. The pacing is excellent. The difference between Trump's obliviousness and Phil's panic is fantastic. Such a entertaining chapter!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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This was wonderful! The dialogue is natural. It makes it all feel more real. The pacing is excellent. The difference between Trump's obliviousness and Phil's panic is fantastic. Such a entertaining chapter!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2025
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Thank you! You made my day.
(I can get two's from the MAGA element all day and feel fine now!)
