No - Say It Ain't So!
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Say It Ain't So!, Ch 2"I woke up one morning feeling...
8 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is great writing. That you are a thoughtful Trump will finally give you away. I hope you can stay in his shoes until you get things straightened out and fix it so Trump returned can't totally screw it up again. Can you believe he fired the people in charge of Air Traffic Control!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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This is great writing. That you are a thoughtful Trump will finally give you away. I hope you can stay in his shoes until you get things straightened out and fix it so Trump returned can't totally screw it up again. Can you believe he fired the people in charge of Air Traffic Control!
Comment Written 17-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2025
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It's trying times we live in.
Thank you for the very nice review, but hold on to your seat!
Comment from Faith Williams
The bit with the press secretary had me chuckling. I like the way you give the reader Tom's background information. It's well done and believable.
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Suggestions to consider:
'Dr. Schweitz was the only person to call me by my first name. I insisted on it at our first meeting the morning of my awakening. I didn't feel right, my physician being in a subservient role. I needed him to be honest.' Maybe switch around that middle sentence so there aren't so many sentences starting with 'I'? My physician in a subservient role didn't feel right to me.
'Even at his age, 64 last January, I (would) want to have to race or wrestle him, especially considering my present condition.' Should this be wouldn't?
"Until he was killed?" I said, (looking) at him intently. Maybe switch out for a stronger verb? Scrutinized? Studied?
'We'll be going to New York City soon, and Brussells... ' I believe Brussels has one 'l'.
"Oh, one more thing." I (looked) at him closely. A stronger verb perhaps?
'(I) took a moment but Tom finally replied.' Should that be 'it' at the beginning of the sentence?
Looking forward to seeing where you lead us.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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The bit with the press secretary had me chuckling. I like the way you give the reader Tom's background information. It's well done and believable.
 Â
Suggestions to consider:
'Dr. Schweitz was the only person to call me by my first name. I insisted on it at our first meeting the morning of my awakening. I didn't feel right, my physician being in a subservient role. I needed him to be honest.' Maybe switch around that middle sentence so there aren't so many sentences starting with 'I'? My physician in a subservient role didn't feel right to me.
'Even at his age, 64 last January, I (would) want to have to race or wrestle him, especially considering my present condition.' Should this be wouldn't?
"Until he was killed?" I said, (looking) at him intently. Maybe switch out for a stronger verb? Scrutinized? Studied?
'We'll be going to New York City soon, and Brussells... ' I believe Brussels has one 'l'.
"Oh, one more thing." I (looked) at him closely. A stronger verb perhaps?
'(I) took a moment but Tom finally replied.' Should that be 'it' at the beginning of the sentence?
Looking forward to seeing where you lead us.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2025
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Thank you for the fabulous review!
And you are right about Brussels.
Comment from Wendy G
The last sentence is the key - he needs to act like the president while undoing all the damage of the current president - that will indeed be a fine balancing act! Vey imaginative.
Wendy
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2025
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The last sentence is the key - he needs to act like the president while undoing all the damage of the current president - that will indeed be a fine balancing act! Vey imaginative.
Wendy
Comment Written 15-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2025
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Thank you. I'm accelerating these posts in order to stay relevant, Trump is so whirlwinding the destruction of a working government.
Comment from Karen Cherry
I love what you are doing with it. It all seems pretty plausible le for a science fictiony story. 42% here and overcast. the same tomorrow. Good work here. Karen
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2025
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I love what you are doing with it. It all seems pretty plausible le for a science fictiony story. 42% here and overcast. the same tomorrow. Good work here. Karen
Comment Written 15-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2025
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Thank you.
So that's how you do it!
42 degrees? (41 here in the Arkansas Ozarks)
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:-)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I love how your chapter immediately pulls me into the inner workings of the presidency. The humor and tension really move the story along. I'm really curious to see where this whole identity shift leads. You've got a fantastic mystery here - keep going!
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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I love how your chapter immediately pulls me into the inner workings of the presidency. The humor and tension really move the story along. I'm really curious to see where this whole identity shift leads. You've got a fantastic mystery here - keep going!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Thank you. It was really fun to write.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Puurfekt second chapter great details and very good introduction on the principal characters that will run this conspiracy. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Puurfekt second chapter great details and very good introduction on the principal characters that will run this conspiracy. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Thank you. This one is close to home.
Comment from jim vecchio
A lot more happened in this story than occurred to me when I got stuck inside the joke wall on Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. Nobody knocked or called on me. I would've still been there except Richard Nixon stuck his head in there and helped pull me out.
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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A lot more happened in this story than occurred to me when I got stuck inside the joke wall on Rowan and Martin's Laugh In. Nobody knocked or called on me. I would've still been there except Richard Nixon stuck his head in there and helped pull me out.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Hah!
Thank you for the great review.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh dear! Can a butler really get sent on missions to Brussels? I like the interchange and hopefully, Tom will be the right man.
And wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air if people could just say that they don't know?
I also liked that he has to give that threat about the punishment for saying "felon" to reassure everyone that it's really Trump.
Now I wonder how the real Trump is doing in the other guy's body...
I took a moment but Tome finally replied. (Tom)
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Oh dear! Can a butler really get sent on missions to Brussels? I like the interchange and hopefully, Tom will be the right man.
And wouldn't it be a breath of fresh air if people could just say that they don't know?
I also liked that he has to give that threat about the punishment for saying "felon" to reassure everyone that it's really Trump.
Now I wonder how the real Trump is doing in the other guy's body...
I took a moment but Tome finally replied. (Tom)
Comment Written 14-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 14-Feb-2025
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Grrr. My finger just won't lay off the 'e' in Tom. I've taken off dozens of them.
Thank you for the great review!
Tom was to just tag along with.
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😂 Tom wants your to write a TOME!
