Independence
An elderly couple copes with aging issues33 total reviews
Comment from Teri7
This is very sad, but also very true for so many people that are aging. I have to say that my husband and I are in that group also. Thanks to the Good Lord, we make it each day by His grace and mercy! Thanks for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
  |
This is very sad, but also very true for so many people that are aging. I have to say that my husband and I are in that group also. Thanks to the Good Lord, we make it each day by His grace and mercy! Thanks for sharing. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 18-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2025
-
I’m glad you guys are managing. One of my biggest issues is arthritis. I’ve had it since I was born and it never gets better. It only gets worse. I’ve had multiple surgeries due to it and that’s why I’m confined to a wheelchair. I wish you and your husband, the best of luck
Thank you for this nice review
Comment from Michele Harber
Wow, did this hit home! We're going through this with my father-in-law right now. He's a very proud, independent, self-sufficient man, but he's having memory issues that don't necessarily indicate dementia, but certainly give his family cause to worry. His driving ability is suffering, as is his sense of direction. He gets lost a lot, and does unsafe moves behind the wheel that he doesn't even recognize as unsafe. Of course, the only way we'd get his car keys away is by force, and none of us is ready to go there yet.
His home, while only moderately sized, has become a money pit, and is more than he can handle. We'd all like to see him go into assisted living for his own safety, or to a local self-contained apartment complex which has everything from a grocery to a movie theater and, with all its public rooms, would offer him what he misses most: companionship. However, he only wants to stay in the home he loves.
Your incisive words are so on the money, describing to a T a situation that so many of us fact. We want him to have the independence that's so important to him, but we worry that it puts his life in danger. This is the definition of a no-win situation, where every option will hurt him either physically or emotionally. You've described both sides of this story so beautifully, with such understanding, and done so in perfect rhyme and meter. Excellent job!
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
 |
Wow, did this hit home! We're going through this with my father-in-law right now. He's a very proud, independent, self-sufficient man, but he's having memory issues that don't necessarily indicate dementia, but certainly give his family cause to worry. His driving ability is suffering, as is his sense of direction. He gets lost a lot, and does unsafe moves behind the wheel that he doesn't even recognize as unsafe. Of course, the only way we'd get his car keys away is by force, and none of us is ready to go there yet.
His home, while only moderately sized, has become a money pit, and is more than he can handle. We'd all like to see him go into assisted living for his own safety, or to a local self-contained apartment complex which has everything from a grocery to a movie theater and, with all its public rooms, would offer him what he misses most: companionship. However, he only wants to stay in the home he loves.
Your incisive words are so on the money, describing to a T a situation that so many of us fact. We want him to have the independence that's so important to him, but we worry that it puts his life in danger. This is the definition of a no-win situation, where every option will hurt him either physically or emotionally. You've described both sides of this story so beautifully, with such understanding, and done so in perfect rhyme and meter. Excellent job!
Comment Written 11-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
-
Hi Michele
You really do the best reviews. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my poem and giving me the honor of a six star rating.
I’m sorry you’re going through this with your father-in-law. I presume that might mean your mother-in-law‘s dead? Or maybe they got divorced
Anyhow, I did not want to go to assisted living either. My house had all the memories of my husband in it. I lost my independence, my house, my husband, all at once.
But now looking back on it, I think she was right because I’ve had at least two times where this facility has saved my life. Two of my brushes with death last year were due to life-threatening seizures and they found me both times and called 911. I think one of the times I pressed my pendant that they give everyone (well actually they charge for it ). But anyway it’s like a call button in the hospital. You press your button and it’s just like a hospital they might come in 10 minutes. They might come in an hour, so when I had the life-threatening seizure, where nobody else was here I did press the pendant and that’s why they came. I pressed it before I actually had the seizures. I kinda get an indicator the seizures are coming.
The other life-threatening seizure my son was here and he went down and got the nurse from here. And then they called 911.
So, there are some positives to assisted living and another one that your father-in-law would like is there is a dining room which serves food. There is a bistro where you can get free fruits, cookies, fig, newtons, and there are a lot of activities and field trips
There’s also a shuttle, which will take you to doctor appointments between nine and three on Mondays and Tuesdays. After that you’re on your own and I have 10 specialist plus my primary doctor so I use it a lot.
And there’s a sign-up sheet for people to go somewhere on the other days and once there’s enough people to go, the shuttle will take them
I guess I’ll end my diatribe here and say I’m glad this poem helped you think about your options and I think it did. Let me know if it didn’t.
-
Hi Michele
You really do the best reviews. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my poem and giving me the honor of a six star rating.
I’m sorry you’re going through this with your father-in-law. I presume that might mean your mother-in-law‘s dead? Or maybe they got divorced
Anyhow, I did not want to go to assisted living either. My house had all the memories of my husband in it. I lost my independence, my house, my husband, all at once.
But now looking back on it, I think she was right because I’ve had at least two times where this facility has saved my life. Two of my brushes with death last year were due to life-threatening seizures and they found me both times and called 911. I think one of the times I pressed my pendant that they give everyone (well actually they charge for it ). But anyway it’s like a call button in the hospital. You press your button and it’s just like a hospital they might come in 10 minutes. They might come in an hour, so when I had the life-threatening seizure, where nobody else was here I did press the pendant and that’s why they came. I pressed it before I actually had the seizures. I kinda get an indicator the seizures are coming.
The other life-threatening seizure my son was here and he went down and got the nurse from here. And then they called 911.
So, there are some positives to assisted living and another one that your father-in-law would like is there is a dining room which serves food. There is a bistro where you can get free fruits, cookies, fig, newtons, and there are a lot of activities and field trips
There’s also a shuttle, which will take you to doctor appointments between nine and three on Mondays and Tuesdays. After that you’re on your own and I have 10 specialist plus my primary doctor so I use it a lot.
And there’s a sign-up sheet for people to go somewhere on the other days and once there’s enough people to go, the shuttle will take them
I guess I’ll end my diatribe here and say I’m glad this poem helped you think about your options and I think it did. Let me know if it didn’t.
-
Hi Michele
You really do the best reviews. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my poem and giving me the honor of a six star rating.
I’m sorry you’re going through this with your father-in-law. I presume that might mean your mother-in-law‘s dead? Or maybe they got divorced
Anyhow, I did not want to go to assisted living either. My house had all the memories of my husband in it. I lost my independence, my house, my husband, all at once.
But now looking back on it, I think she was right because I’ve had at least two times where this facility has saved my life. Two of my brushes with death last year were due to life-threatening seizures and they found me both times and called 911. I think one of the times I pressed my pendant that they give everyone (well actually they charge for it ). But anyway it’s like a call button in the hospital. You press your button and it’s just like a hospital they might come in 10 minutes. They might come in an hour, so when I had the life-threatening seizure, where nobody else was here I did press the pendant and that’s why they came. I pressed it before I actually had the seizures. I kinda get an indicator the seizures are coming.
The other life-threatening seizure my son was here and he went down and got the nurse from here. And then they called 911.
So, there are some positives to assisted living and another one that your father-in-law would like is there is a dining room which serves food. There is a bistro where you can get free fruits, cookies, fig, newtons, and there are a lot of activities and field trips
There’s also a shuttle, which will take you to doctor appointments between nine and three on Mondays and Tuesdays. After that you’re on your own and I have 10 specialist plus my primary doctor so I use it a lot.
And there’s a sign-up sheet for people to go somewhere on the other days and once there’s enough people to go, the shuttle will take them
I guess I’ll end my diatribe here and say I’m glad this poem helped you think about your options and I think it did. Let me know if it didn’t.
-
OMG, Pam. I’m so glad people were there to help you when you needed it.
I fully understand that it’s hard to give up a place that holds so many memories. I also realize that assisted living takes away some degree of privacy. However, as you so perfectly point out, it also adds safety, amenities and, perhaps most importantly, companionship.
September marked a year since my mother-in-law passed away, and my father-in-law is desperately lonely. His four sons and their families spend as much time with him as we can, but none of us can be there 24/7, and we definitely worry about what could happen when he’s alone.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Pam, I can relate to your fictional story. I'm 67 and i live with my youngest daughter, her husband, and my grandson. I moved in when he was a baby and now he's 7 years old.
I'm in good health but sometimes I think about getting older and needing help.
You did a great job. It's clear and easy to follow. No errors. And it's thought provoking.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
|
Hello, Pam, I can relate to your fictional story. I'm 67 and i live with my youngest daughter, her husband, and my grandson. I moved in when he was a baby and now he's 7 years old.
I'm in good health but sometimes I think about getting older and needing help.
You did a great job. It's clear and easy to follow. No errors. And it's thought provoking.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
-
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem and for such nice comments. And I hope you live a long time and stay in good health the entire time.
I live in an assisted living facility and there are a lot of people that are 90 or older here. We had one resident here who died recently at the age of 104. Now she did need a lot of help but she was a sweet person.
And I’m amazed at how healthy some of these people are. one of the 90-year-olds offered to push me in my wheelchair I said no because I did not want her to get hurt
-
How do you like living there?
-
It’s OK because I have needed their services. I’m a lot safer here than I was at home. It’s expensive but I have long-term care insurance that will last me another three years and I probably won’t live that long seriously. I had four brushes with death last year Latest was December 9.
So after that runs out, I’m screwed because I can’t afford to pay to be here
-
I hope you feel better and live a long time, if that's what you want.
Do you have medicare and social security? I thought that pays for it, but I'm not an expert.
Hugs!
-
Yes to both. But they don’t come close to paying for this
Comment from harmony13
Great poem of what is like to be elderly! The author's words are clear,
descriptive and creative. I pondered on these words and after reading
these words I agree with this author, it does get harder all the time. My faith in God is what keeps me going. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is perfect! Thank you also for the author's notes.
Great Poem!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
|
Great poem of what is like to be elderly! The author's words are clear,
descriptive and creative. I pondered on these words and after reading
these words I agree with this author, it does get harder all the time. My faith in God is what keeps me going. The poem flows and connects well. The artwork is perfect! Thank you also for the author's notes.
Great Poem!
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
-
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing my poem and for letting me know that you liked it.
You provide a detailed comments and that’s what makes a great review
Comment from TPAC
A sound statement, prevailing upon our lives events, having made a family: watch them dissolve away through time. Age twisting those factors, whom caring for whom: super effort, in my given viewpoint.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
|
A sound statement, prevailing upon our lives events, having made a family: watch them dissolve away through time. Age twisting those factors, whom caring for whom: super effort, in my given viewpoint.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
-
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my poem and to let me know your feedback. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Ulla
It makes me sad when I read your poem and notes. I know it's true what you're saying for most elderly people in the Western world. But not everywhere though. Here in Spain, where I live, the younger generation takes care of their elderly whenever they can. Ulla xcx
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
|
It makes me sad when I read your poem and notes. I know it's true what you're saying for most elderly people in the Western world. But not everywhere though. Here in Spain, where I live, the younger generation takes care of their elderly whenever they can. Ulla xcx
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
-
Most countries, including the non-developed world countries take care of their elders much better than the US does
We have to lose all of our money before we can go into a nursing home. Or lose it while we’re in the nursing home. Everything we saved, our whole lives is gone. I am facing that possibility in a short term of three years. And yes, it stresses me. It saddens me and it makes me angry.
Thank you for the great review
Comment from Mia Twysted
It starts wonderful and then ends sad. The roles of parents and children reverse as time goes on and everyone gets older. Things sometimes have to be done.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
|
It starts wonderful and then ends sad. The roles of parents and children reverse as time goes on and everyone gets older. Things sometimes have to be done.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
-
Thank you so much Mia for reading and reviewing my poem and giving me the honor of a six star rating
I am going through this right now. It’s like my daughter is the parent and I’m the child. Although we do exist on an adult level basis too.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Independence, follows this couple's life through the family dynamic as it changes from raising kids to being taken care of by the same people. One will see how their investment in love will pay back in the end.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
|
This poem, Independence, follows this couple's life through the family dynamic as it changes from raising kids to being taken care of by the same people. One will see how their investment in love will pay back in the end.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
-
Thank you, Bill for a great review
Comment from mermaids
Your words capture what many older adults are going through. As a nurse in a nursing home, I see this all the time and it is difficult to have to change to assisted living or a nursing home. We all enjoy our homes. You also show a path in life where we age and health issues and dementia can come along. Excellent poetic form that tells a true story and I wish you well.
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
|
Your words capture what many older adults are going through. As a nurse in a nursing home, I see this all the time and it is difficult to have to change to assisted living or a nursing home. We all enjoy our homes. You also show a path in life where we age and health issues and dementia can come along. Excellent poetic form that tells a true story and I wish you well.
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2025
-
First of all, bless you mermaids for being a nurse in a nursing home. It is a noble profession.
My husband was in a nursing home that killed him with neglect
I have to pause for a moment sorry
Thank you also for reading and reviewing my poem and giving it an excellent rating
And for your wonderful comments
-
My condolences on the loss of your husband. I wish we could do better regarding our patients in nursing home. Where I work is a good place but there is still much I wish could be improved upon. Elaine
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really sad, Pam. But not all of us can cope on our own, or be completely independant, much as we want to be. I'm sorry you are in this position, but I do believe our children do love us, and only want to best for us all. There are so many of us here who are past the independant stage and can relate to your poem. It is a very poignant poem, taking us from being the main carer, to being cared for. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
|
That was really sad, Pam. But not all of us can cope on our own, or be completely independant, much as we want to be. I'm sorry you are in this position, but I do believe our children do love us, and only want to best for us all. There are so many of us here who are past the independant stage and can relate to your poem. It is a very poignant poem, taking us from being the main carer, to being cared for. Love and hugs, my friend. Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Feb-2025
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2025
-
That is so true Sandra. I’ve had arthritis since birth, but never gets better. It always gets worse and that is the main reason. I’m in a wheelchair. Luckily neither my daughter or my son has arthritis although my son is having a problem with his shoulder and he may end up with arthritis because of that so I think my daughter will not be having to struggle as much as I do.
Thanks for the great review. Love and hugs back at you.
