Can You See The Real Me?
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "We can't get Junior killed.."A collection of ten Novella styled stories
5 total reviews
Comment from Rick Gardner
Again a total foreign world you have been in, dangerous and interesting exploration of an underground habitat. An ongoing experience, which you obviously thrived in. More to come?, is a disaster on the list of what is next.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Again a total foreign world you have been in, dangerous and interesting exploration of an underground habitat. An ongoing experience, which you obviously thrived in. More to come?, is a disaster on the list of what is next.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2025
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Thanks for the review, Chapter 2 has some danger in it.. but for a James Bond like twist, try Chapter 10
Comment from Abigail May
I loved this story. My only main note is that the intro may be a little long versus the bulk of the text. Like the author, with his eagerness to get underground, I felt the same as a reader. That anticipation made the pacing of the first third of the piece feel somewhat slow. I loved getting into the bulk of the text though, where the author is working underground. The text dig a great job of placing the reader in that environment, heightened senses and all!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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I loved this story. My only main note is that the intro may be a little long versus the bulk of the text. Like the author, with his eagerness to get underground, I felt the same as a reader. That anticipation made the pacing of the first third of the piece feel somewhat slow. I loved getting into the bulk of the text though, where the author is working underground. The text dig a great job of placing the reader in that environment, heightened senses and all!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks for the review and helpful suggestions
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really enjoyed reading this chapter! The way you captured the underground experience felt so real. Your descriptions of the mine and the tasks done really painted a clear picture for me. I loved how you brought Blackie and Paul to life. The mix of humor was terrific.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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I really enjoyed reading this chapter! The way you captured the underground experience felt so real. Your descriptions of the mine and the tasks done really painted a clear picture for me. I loved how you brought Blackie and Paul to life. The mix of humor was terrific.
Comment Written 13-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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thx again for the kind reviews, I'll try and post the another chapter tonight or tomorrow
Comment from pome lover
well, obviously you were able to do all that tedious, strenuous stuff because of your build and experience, but you were also dedicated and brave.
Your story was very interesting and informative. I do have a question, though. What did being around all that coal dust do to your lungs?
I can't think it was anything good.
Katharine
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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well, obviously you were able to do all that tedious, strenuous stuff because of your build and experience, but you were also dedicated and brave.
Your story was very interesting and informative. I do have a question, though. What did being around all that coal dust do to your lungs?
I can't think it was anything good.
Katharine
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2025
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Thanks for your review and the rating. After working 5 months underground, I have no issues with my lungs. But it took about a month for all the black soot to wash out from my pores, no mater how many showers or how hard I scrubbed.
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well that was good about your lungs!
Comment from lancellot
Very interesting. You are a braver man than me. I would never go underground, unless I'm already dead.
notes:
"Blackie, we can't get Junior killed on his first day[.]"
-add
"Son we expect a day's worth of work for a day's pay, you'll be working with Paul {today". At} this
-today." At
, "What if I couldn't hack it?". I had invested three years
- "What if I couldn't hack it?" I had invested three years (Also, better to use italic for thoughts.)
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Very interesting. You are a braver man than me. I would never go underground, unless I'm already dead.
notes:
"Blackie, we can't get Junior killed on his first day[.]"
-add
"Son we expect a day's worth of work for a day's pay, you'll be working with Paul {today". At} this
-today." At
, "What if I couldn't hack it?". I had invested three years
- "What if I couldn't hack it?" I had invested three years (Also, better to use italic for thoughts.)
Comment Written 12-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2025
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Thanks for the review and detailed comments. I will clean it up
