Comment from Kahlani

Good

What a delightful story about the surprise return of your sister. This is a very nostalgic story and I could practically feel the sorrow that you felt when your sister left. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024

Thank you. Good day!

reply by Kahlani on 04-Dec-2024

Good day. 🙂

reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024

reply by the author on 05-Dec-2024

:) :)!

Comment from lancellot

Good

You write a touching story about a meaningful memory and time in your life. It is a good entry for the contest.

There are some edits needs with an eye on punctuation, sentence and paragraph structure. Also, spacing.

notes:

and after shopping all day she finally came back just as we were sitting down to a plain supper{,}

-change to a period

Then her eyes went huge, then her face began to change, and she began to cry.

-Then, her eyes went huge, her face began to change, and she began to cry.

Coming to the window I saw then what she had seen...

-Coming to the window I saw what she had seen...

and my {hearts'} longing was realized at last as I saw in a flash that my sister had come home!!!

-heart's

 Comment Written 02-Dec-2024

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reply by the author on 03-Dec-2024

Thank you for your help. I'll work on this a little more and you're welcome to check it out later. Ciao!