Consumed in Despair
To dream, or not to dream.8 total reviews
Comment from Nicki.B
Excellent poem for the recurring nightmare contest. I was reading through almost gasping to get out, you captured the feeling of despair so well. 'A haunting echo lost in dreams' is such a strong eerie statement along with 'the stars above like eyes that stare' this is an interesting one as I have only ever looked at stars as being pretty and that glow and look magical!! Well done
Good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
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Excellent poem for the recurring nightmare contest. I was reading through almost gasping to get out, you captured the feeling of despair so well. 'A haunting echo lost in dreams' is such a strong eerie statement along with 'the stars above like eyes that stare' this is an interesting one as I have only ever looked at stars as being pretty and that glow and look magical!! Well done
Good luck with the contest.
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
I like this. Your rhyming, well-metered verse includes some excellent imagery ("The stars above, like eyes that stare") and emphasises a typically reinforced sensation of being trapped and unable to escape from some dark force. Well done and good luck! Debbie
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I like this. Your rhyming, well-metered verse includes some excellent imagery ("The stars above, like eyes that stare") and emphasises a typically reinforced sensation of being trapped and unable to escape from some dark force. Well done and good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
Comment from Bill Schott
This saraband, Consumed in Despair, has the proper formatting and speaks to the downcast sense that follows us into sleep and haunts our dreams. Sad state.
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This saraband, Consumed in Despair, has the proper formatting and speaks to the downcast sense that follows us into sleep and haunts our dreams. Sad state.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2024
Comment from Colorado Owl
I enjoyed your poem. It's awful to be trapped in a dream. You express the feeling well. (I don't think you intended to title it, "dispair", rather than the correct spelling.)
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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I enjoyed your poem. It's awful to be trapped in a dream. You express the feeling well. (I don't think you intended to title it, "dispair", rather than the correct spelling.)
Comment Written 21-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the review and correction.
Comment from DonandVicki
I think that when we are alone it can cause loneliness and despair. Your poem brings out this feeling of hopelessness. Well written and you should do well in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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I think that when we are alone it can cause loneliness and despair. Your poem brings out this feeling of hopelessness. Well written and you should do well in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the review.
Comment from ESOSTINE
Some dreams can be hunting and awe-inspiring. I do dream dreams also with a few nightmares to battle with. It appears that I am stronger in my dreams than in real life. Winning every battle in my dreams. Thanks so much for sharing your work. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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Some dreams can be hunting and awe-inspiring. I do dream dreams also with a few nightmares to battle with. It appears that I am stronger in my dreams than in real life. Winning every battle in my dreams. Thanks so much for sharing your work. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the review.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A fine post for the contest. When we are consumed by fear, we often don't sleep well or have night terrors. A vivid picture painted here with your words.
These lines are out of metre:
(Visions, dark, my mind does consume)
Suggest:
(with visions, dark, my mind consumes)
(Trapped again in a hapless snare)
Suggest:
(I'm trapped inside a hapless snare)
Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2024
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A fine post for the contest. When we are consumed by fear, we often don't sleep well or have night terrors. A vivid picture painted here with your words.
These lines are out of metre:
(Visions, dark, my mind does consume)
Suggest:
(with visions, dark, my mind consumes)
(Trapped again in a hapless snare)
Suggest:
(I'm trapped inside a hapless snare)
Love Dolly x
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the review and great suggestions.
Comment from Regina Elliott
Excellent and chilling entry
for the contest, my very best
wishes to you. I could sense
the dread. I hope you have a
mellow November evening.
All the best to you.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Excellent and chilling entry
for the contest, my very best
wishes to you. I could sense
the dread. I hope you have a
mellow November evening.
All the best to you.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2024
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Thanks for the review.