Waiting By The Door
Praying for movement15 total reviews
Comment from joann r romei
Aww, this almost made me cry, and your actions are understandable, a lot of people keep rooms untouched as well as items. this was well written. No errors noted.
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Aww, this almost made me cry, and your actions are understandable, a lot of people keep rooms untouched as well as items. this was well written. No errors noted.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
Comment from Gayla putnam
It is a sad and incredible story about grief. You did a great job of telling how the boots personified your love. I could feel your emotion when you moved the boots. I would love to send this story to my friend who is going through what you have. gayla
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It is a sad and incredible story about grief. You did a great job of telling how the boots personified your love. I could feel your emotion when you moved the boots. I would love to send this story to my friend who is going through what you have. gayla
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from Tim Margetts
This is an incredibly moving tale and depicts how easily we can find grief links to one specific, often to others, insignificant item. A thing that embodies our memories.
It's good that you finally found the courage to move them as in itself, this symbolic act allows you to begin the journey of moving on.
I send out a warm hug.
Tim x
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This is an incredibly moving tale and depicts how easily we can find grief links to one specific, often to others, insignificant item. A thing that embodies our memories.
It's good that you finally found the courage to move them as in itself, this symbolic act allows you to begin the journey of moving on.
I send out a warm hug.
Tim x
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hi Patty!
*****I have pledged to rate in accordance with the criteria outlined on the Q&A page. I will award 4-stars based solely on grammar and lack of proofreading, never on content or creative choices.*****
I was directed to this by Julie Helms, who read it and said I had to as well. She was totally right. One can feel the heart and soul in this short work. It absolutely defines the word "poignant." I am truly sorry for your loss.
---There is a brilliance in using the boots to encapsulate your grief in this work. However, it is NOT metaphor; the boots are real and your interactions with them were as well. So, while it SEEMS as if the boots are personified or else used as some sort of symbol, they are truly literal in the sense of the effect that had on you. I hope you know what I mean. I find it exceedingly interesting to analyze them in this way and was surprised at this revelation.
---"I couldn't stop staring at them. Every day, I checked to see if they'd moved, sometimes dozens of times." --I just pulled this sentence out to illustrate your control of this story. Simple, direct language like this sets the tone.
---"Moving them felt impossible, like it would erase the last trace of him, like it would admit he was never coming back." --This pulls at the reader's heart strings.
---"They felt heavier than they should have, as though they carried all the weight of my grief." --Here you do dip into a bit of symbolism. I think this is the best line in the entire work.
You write very well. I was totally enthralled by this work. Although concise, it was no less powerful for its brevity. I am happy to award it with one of my 6-stars for the week. Well done, Patty! Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
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Hi Patty!
*****I have pledged to rate in accordance with the criteria outlined on the Q&A page. I will award 4-stars based solely on grammar and lack of proofreading, never on content or creative choices.*****
I was directed to this by Julie Helms, who read it and said I had to as well. She was totally right. One can feel the heart and soul in this short work. It absolutely defines the word "poignant." I am truly sorry for your loss.
---There is a brilliance in using the boots to encapsulate your grief in this work. However, it is NOT metaphor; the boots are real and your interactions with them were as well. So, while it SEEMS as if the boots are personified or else used as some sort of symbol, they are truly literal in the sense of the effect that had on you. I hope you know what I mean. I find it exceedingly interesting to analyze them in this way and was surprised at this revelation.
---"I couldn't stop staring at them. Every day, I checked to see if they'd moved, sometimes dozens of times." --I just pulled this sentence out to illustrate your control of this story. Simple, direct language like this sets the tone.
---"Moving them felt impossible, like it would erase the last trace of him, like it would admit he was never coming back." --This pulls at the reader's heart strings.
---"They felt heavier than they should have, as though they carried all the weight of my grief." --Here you do dip into a bit of symbolism. I think this is the best line in the entire work.
You write very well. I was totally enthralled by this work. Although concise, it was no less powerful for its brevity. I am happy to award it with one of my 6-stars for the week. Well done, Patty! Good luck in the contest!
Patrick
Comment Written 03-Dec-2024
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story is so emotionally charged it brought tears to my eyes. Based on your well chosen words, I could almost feel your anxiety and anticipation, as I envisioned the boots. I wish you the best in the contest.
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This story is so emotionally charged it brought tears to my eyes. Based on your well chosen words, I could almost feel your anxiety and anticipation, as I envisioned the boots. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2024
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Patty,
This such a sad story. I am sorry for your loss. This story flows smoothly to completion. The reader can feel the raw emotion exuding in this poem.
Well done and good luck in your contest.
Cecilia
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Patty,
This such a sad story. I am sorry for your loss. This story flows smoothly to completion. The reader can feel the raw emotion exuding in this poem.
Well done and good luck in your contest.
Cecilia
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024
Comment from Pam (respa)
I am very glad I have a six star to award you, Patty. Lovely artwork and touching story to go with it. The loss of a loved one is so hard. My only experience was losing both of my parents within 3 months of each other. They were both had bad health, and I was glad they didn't suffer, but it didn't make it any easier.
I can understand why you wouldn't want to touch the boots or put them away. As you said in your piece, "They were him." You do an amazing job describing the boots and show how they "were him." I can understand your feelings when you decided to put the boots away after a year. Very good concluding paragraphs, and I can understand your feelings. I hope it helped to write this story. It is deserving of a win in the contest. Good luck!!
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I am very glad I have a six star to award you, Patty. Lovely artwork and touching story to go with it. The loss of a loved one is so hard. My only experience was losing both of my parents within 3 months of each other. They were both had bad health, and I was glad they didn't suffer, but it didn't make it any easier.
I can understand why you wouldn't want to touch the boots or put them away. As you said in your piece, "They were him." You do an amazing job describing the boots and show how they "were him." I can understand your feelings when you decided to put the boots away after a year. Very good concluding paragraphs, and I can understand your feelings. I hope it helped to write this story. It is deserving of a win in the contest. Good luck!!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
This is a truly touching flash story which focuses around a pair of boots, normally quite insignificant, but, in this case, carrying all the weight of grief and sorrow. A beautiful entry for the contest and I wish you luck, Patty. Take care Debbie
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This is a truly touching flash story which focuses around a pair of boots, normally quite insignificant, but, in this case, carrying all the weight of grief and sorrow. A beautiful entry for the contest and I wish you luck, Patty. Take care Debbie
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024
Comment from DonandVicki
I could relate to your true story; I still have my father's shirt in my closet. He was a medium and I am a 2x, so I just keep it there to remind me of him. Well written.
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I could relate to your true story; I still have my father's shirt in my closet. He was a medium and I am a 2x, so I just keep it there to remind me of him. Well written.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024
Comment from zanya
This is a great title for the True Story Contest and a most evocative and moving story of a precious pair of boots that hold precious memories - Our grief can emerge in so many different ways.
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This is a great title for the True Story Contest and a most evocative and moving story of a precious pair of boots that hold precious memories - Our grief can emerge in so many different ways.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2024