High School Horror
Everyday Horror2 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I can see how this would be a horrific situation to be in and one that should never happen.
The write could do with a little clean up and polish in places on a technical standpoint.
I made some notes-The 70's contained it's own - 70s doesn't need the apostrophe. the possessive form of its has no apostrophe either.
We had no cell phones power stirring in cars had not been invented to much earlier then that and televisions were still big and sat on the floor on four lets like your chair and couch. - you should have a couple of commas in here to separate the list out. Also stirring should be steering.
to much earlier then that - too much, than that.
floor on four lets - legs.
grades higher then mine. - than rather than then.
There are a lot of missing commas throughout the piece. Sometimes, reading it aloud can offer you the insight into where to place them.
much ran out into the crowd hallway.- crowded?
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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Hi there,
I can see how this would be a horrific situation to be in and one that should never happen.
The write could do with a little clean up and polish in places on a technical standpoint.
I made some notes-The 70's contained it's own - 70s doesn't need the apostrophe. the possessive form of its has no apostrophe either.
We had no cell phones power stirring in cars had not been invented to much earlier then that and televisions were still big and sat on the floor on four lets like your chair and couch. - you should have a couple of commas in here to separate the list out. Also stirring should be steering.
to much earlier then that - too much, than that.
floor on four lets - legs.
grades higher then mine. - than rather than then.
There are a lot of missing commas throughout the piece. Sometimes, reading it aloud can offer you the insight into where to place them.
much ran out into the crowd hallway.- crowded?
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 10-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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thanks
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is such an unsettling story. You've really captured the feeling of fear and confusion that comes with being a young person in an uncomfortable situation. I could feel your discomfort. I can't believe he offered you candy! Not very original. It's really emotional and raw, and I think you've done a great job sharing the vulnerability and confusion that you felt at the time. Well done!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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This is such an unsettling story. You've really captured the feeling of fear and confusion that comes with being a young person in an uncomfortable situation. I could feel your discomfort. I can't believe he offered you candy! Not very original. It's really emotional and raw, and I think you've done a great job sharing the vulnerability and confusion that you felt at the time. Well done!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
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thank you...I seem to be atractive to men you just wanna stay away from. I've other stories similiar to that one. One is about a minister who lived in a house across from us. We shared a drive with him and the church. I never told my parents about any of the things that happened until long after they were over and I was an adult able to handle men like that.