Cornfield Frankenstein
He's not your average monster26 total reviews
Comment from karenina
This form is harder than it looks. I still remember the first time I tried it. Holy cow! I ended up grabbing a legal pad and writing the pattern of repeating lines down the left side of the page, like a Kindergartner:
Stanza 1
A
B
C
D
Stanza 2
B
E
D
F
Stanza 3
E
G
F
H
Stanza 4
G
I (or A)
H
J (or A, or C)
A fine author here, the late Alvin T. Ethington) -- fondly remembered --patiently guided me through the process (and my near nervous breakdown)--
It was the beginning of a great friendship, and I miss his brilliance and persistence helping me conform to the Pantoum form. I also miss his genius writing-- (Look for his name under Eternal Flames and treat yourself!
Okay. That was way off-topic. My point is this is a great job. Clearly, as I'm reviewing this very late, I see that you won the contest. This is original, substantive, effectively haunting -- and (to state the obvious) appealed to the voters for sure!
I'd point out that the Pantoum begins in ABAB...but each quatrain moves to BCBC, CDCD, etc... with the special presentation in the final quatrain.
That should confuse us all mightily!
I wish Alvin were here to explain...
Congrats!
It's Thursday. Sixes are a distant memory...
Karenina
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
  |
This form is harder than it looks. I still remember the first time I tried it. Holy cow! I ended up grabbing a legal pad and writing the pattern of repeating lines down the left side of the page, like a Kindergartner:
Stanza 1
A
B
C
D
Stanza 2
B
E
D
F
Stanza 3
E
G
F
H
Stanza 4
G
I (or A)
H
J (or A, or C)
A fine author here, the late Alvin T. Ethington) -- fondly remembered --patiently guided me through the process (and my near nervous breakdown)--
It was the beginning of a great friendship, and I miss his brilliance and persistence helping me conform to the Pantoum form. I also miss his genius writing-- (Look for his name under Eternal Flames and treat yourself!
Okay. That was way off-topic. My point is this is a great job. Clearly, as I'm reviewing this very late, I see that you won the contest. This is original, substantive, effectively haunting -- and (to state the obvious) appealed to the voters for sure!
I'd point out that the Pantoum begins in ABAB...but each quatrain moves to BCBC, CDCD, etc... with the special presentation in the final quatrain.
That should confuse us all mightily!
I wish Alvin were here to explain...
Congrats!
It's Thursday. Sixes are a distant memory...
Karenina
Comment Written 21-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2024
-
You know, K, the worst part about this was that I kept thinking of better lines to write than what I already had, but then to remember to do both for every change was difficult. I finally read it over I bet fifty times to make sure about I had it right. Other than that it was a lot of fun and I would do another in a heart beat. Thanks for the kind comments that you always so graciously leave with me. You're the best yet and I can prove it!! Love, debi
-
I LOVE the form. It's challenging but oh so satisfying when finished!
We should co-author one sometime...
That'd be a blast!
I double-dog dare ya!
-
I can't think of anything I would love more.
-
I would ask you to do one for tomorrow but I know you are not able to, so we will try it another time soon. I have a couple cool ideas. But if you do to please share them with me sometime, ok?
-
Oh, no hurry! It's just a thought...
Sometime next year is fine.
-
LOL, Okey dokey.
Comment from Dr. Nad
Hey sis, sorry I don't have more time to tell you how wonderful this poem is. Just look into my heart and know that I love it and you. I'm getting kind of close to submitting some thing. Thanks for submitting this.
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2024
 |
Hey sis, sorry I don't have more time to tell you how wonderful this poem is. Just look into my heart and know that I love it and you. I'm getting kind of close to submitting some thing. Thanks for submitting this.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2024
-
Well it is good to see you are reading my posts anyway. LOL ! But I do appreciate the familiar comments and the six stars. Thanks again, dear bro!
Love, Debi
-
Well it is good to see you are reading my posts anyway. LOL ! But I do appreciate the familiar comments and the six stars. Thanks again, dear bro!
Love, Debi
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Haha. This guy looks more like Michael Jackson than a scare crow. Your poem obeyed all the rules of a Pantoum Poem. I wonder what kind of technology that pops him up.
Well done and congratulations for winning the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
|
Haha. This guy looks more like Michael Jackson than a scare crow. Your poem obeyed all the rules of a Pantoum Poem. I wonder what kind of technology that pops him up.
Well done and congratulations for winning the contest.
Comment Written 13-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2024
-
Thanks so much, Lisa. I appreciate your awesome comments as much as I do your friendship. You are always so caring and fun and caring.
Thanks also for the congrats. Love, Debi
Comment from Gunner Lil
The picture used for this poem is great.
The poem is an easy read that I read twice.
It has a excellent flow and the pace is just right.
Thank you for sharing!
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
|
The picture used for this poem is great.
The poem is an easy read that I read twice.
It has a excellent flow and the pace is just right.
Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
-
Thanks so very much, Gunner. This was a little bit of a challenge but it was fun all the same. I thank you so very much for the kind comments.
I appreciate them very much. Love, Debi
Comment from bob cullen
This is creativity at its finest. I love the photo. And he's the best dressed scare crow I've ever seen. Does he move at all when the breeze blows? And do the crows in the area require counselling after encountering him. A brilliant design and an even more brilliant poem.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
|
This is creativity at its finest. I love the photo. And he's the best dressed scare crow I've ever seen. Does he move at all when the breeze blows? And do the crows in the area require counselling after encountering him. A brilliant design and an even more brilliant poem.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
-
Thanks Bob, and I certainly appreciate the wonderful review and comments for this one. It was fun to write but just had to make sure when you edited one line, you didn't forget about the other. LOL.
And wow, thanks for the generous six stars too, dear friend.
Comment from BehindTheEyesofImani
Your poem has such wonderful imagery!! I found it intriguing that the scarecrow came to life in an eerily animated and robotic way, making me think of how many people today want robotic features on everything for their convenience even when it isn't necessary. The shadow cast from the moon suggests how spooky the night time is with this scarecrow around.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
 |
Your poem has such wonderful imagery!! I found it intriguing that the scarecrow came to life in an eerily animated and robotic way, making me think of how many people today want robotic features on everything for their convenience even when it isn't necessary. The shadow cast from the moon suggests how spooky the night time is with this scarecrow around.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
-
Thank you for the review.
Comment from jmdg1954
Hmph...,I was wondering why I read lines over throughout the poem. Duh... by definition.
Great poem author and best of luck in the contest. You have actual contender with this one.
Later,
John
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
|
Hmph...,I was wondering why I read lines over throughout the poem. Duh... by definition.
Great poem author and best of luck in the contest. You have actual contender with this one.
Later,
John
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
-
Thank you so very much, John. You are so sweet and I suppose that did seem strange if you didn't know the format and all of a sudden the lines were repeated. I appreciate all the kind comments for my poem. Thanks again.
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
This is grand. I imagine it was hard to write. I decided not to try. I wish you good luck in the contest. Have a nice week ahead. Love to you and yours, Karen :-)
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
|
This is grand. I imagine it was hard to write. I decided not to try. I wish you good luck in the contest. Have a nice week ahead. Love to you and yours, Karen :-)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2024
-
Karen, you are right about it being kinda hard, but it was fun to . The worst part was remembering that every time you wanted to change a line to make it sound better, you had to change them both. That and of course making sure the repeating line made sense in both stanzas. I think you would do great. Thanks for the very kind review.
-
You made it look easy. But I knew it was hard. My muse went and hid in the closet. The chicken livered wuss. Karen
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Your poem meets the standard of the pantoum style. Even I have seen the world famous Michael Jackson Thriller video. I haven't seen many videos, but I have seen that one. Your narrative of the monster is quite good. Your description draws a verbal visual of the creature for the reader and that is the objective. Nicely done.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
|
Your poem meets the standard of the pantoum style. Even I have seen the world famous Michael Jackson Thriller video. I haven't seen many videos, but I have seen that one. Your narrative of the monster is quite good. Your description draws a verbal visual of the creature for the reader and that is the objective. Nicely done.
Robert
Comment Written 11-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
-
Thank you Robert. I appreciate your very kind comments for this one. Even though I am a poet, this was a little bit of a challenge. But LOL, only because I am always finding lines or word I want to edit and improve, but every time you edit one, you had to do two. Haha. It was fine as long as you didn't forget one. Thanks again my friend. And I am glad you liked the video.
-
You're welcome
Comment from DonandVicki
I like this poetic form, the identical lines roll up as the poem goes on. A true "thriller" of a poem and the media that you used bring back memories of M. Jackson's "Thriller."
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
|
I like this poetic form, the identical lines roll up as the poem goes on. A true "thriller" of a poem and the media that you used bring back memories of M. Jackson's "Thriller."
Comment Written 10-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2024
-
Hi Don and Vicki, you guys know me as mostly a poet but even this prompt was a little unusual for me with trying to keep it straight all the different lines that needed to be repeated. I was constantly editing and changing it so I had to make sure I did the one that I repeated too. So it was quite the challenge. But it was fun too. Thanks so much for your kind comments
-
Good Luck!!!