Paper Promises
A Free Verse40 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Jessica,
This is a well done free verse, using the week paper boat as a metaphor for love that is fleeting and full of fake promise. It shows how some people work very hard to act out a part but are still found out.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
  |
Hi Jessica,
This is a well done free verse, using the week paper boat as a metaphor for love that is fleeting and full of fake promise. It shows how some people work very hard to act out a part but are still found out.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Happy Holidays.
Joan
Comment Written 10-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 12-Dec-2024
-
Thank you so much, Joan!
-
No problem, Jessica.
Joan
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I really appreciate the way you've used the paper boat. There's something so delicate about it that perfectly works in your poem. The way you describe its construction really highlights its bold appearance and its eventual collapse. The simplicity of "a brush, a drop / of rain" to undo it all packs such a punch! I really admire how this poem pulls me in with its emotions. Beautifully done!
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
|
I really appreciate the way you've used the paper boat. There's something so delicate about it that perfectly works in your poem. The way you describe its construction really highlights its bold appearance and its eventual collapse. The simplicity of "a brush, a drop / of rain" to undo it all packs such a punch! I really admire how this poem pulls me in with its emotions. Beautifully done!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
-
Thank you so much, Michael!
-
Thank you so much, Michael!
Comment from Gayla putnam
What a good analogy! I pictured your words and reread the poem several times, pondering the meaning of each word. It is so beautifully written and has so many lines that made me think. I particularly liked The Thousand Promises and Crumble in the Breeze. gayla
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
|
What a good analogy! I pictured your words and reread the poem several times, pondering the meaning of each word. It is so beautifully written and has so many lines that made me think. I particularly liked The Thousand Promises and Crumble in the Breeze. gayla
Comment Written 10-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2024
-
Thank you, Gayla!
-
Thank you, Gayla!
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse, Paper Promises, sets adrift the idea that one person's issuance of devotion is easily pointed out to the sea of false promises and empty words.
|
This free verse, Paper Promises, sets adrift the idea that one person's issuance of devotion is easily pointed out to the sea of false promises and empty words.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was very powerful. Knowing beautiful words that can disappear once they are uttered is a sad thought. Yet, most of us, at one time or another, believe the illusion of the paper boat. Great poem. Gretchen
|
This was very powerful. Knowing beautiful words that can disappear once they are uttered is a sad thought. Yet, most of us, at one time or another, believe the illusion of the paper boat. Great poem. Gretchen
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I really liked this piece.
There's an rawness to it despite the precision with which it's written. It drew me in and the word placement as well as choice is very good.
Poetry should move and affect people, otherwise what's the point?
Very good
GMG
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
 |
Hi there,
I really liked this piece.
There's an rawness to it despite the precision with which it's written. It drew me in and the word placement as well as choice is very good.
Poetry should move and affect people, otherwise what's the point?
Very good
GMG
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
-
That really means a lot to me. Thank you so much!
Jess
Comment from CrystieCookie999
You do a marvelous job maintaining consistency in the speaker's tone and form. This poem is full of nuance and thoughtful phrases.
Favorite lines:
Your weightless word
will never know
the wind-
a paper promise
crumbles
in the breeze.
I sort of wanted to say 'crumples' instead of 'crumbles' - only because paper is more likely to disintegrate when it is wet or ancient.
|
You do a marvelous job maintaining consistency in the speaker's tone and form. This poem is full of nuance and thoughtful phrases.
Favorite lines:
Your weightless word
will never know
the wind-
a paper promise
crumbles
in the breeze.
I sort of wanted to say 'crumples' instead of 'crumbles' - only because paper is more likely to disintegrate when it is wet or ancient.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2024
Comment from Jim Wile
I love your use of the paper boat metaphor, Jess, to make a perfect statement about shallow, substanceless promises that come to nothing and are so easily shot down because they have no substance.
This is a beautifully written free verse that reads so well because of its iambic meter. Very good imagery too to show us the keen construction of the lies which once fooled you, but despite how carefully and precisely put together now, it doesn't take much to expose them for what they are. Very good job.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
|
I love your use of the paper boat metaphor, Jess, to make a perfect statement about shallow, substanceless promises that come to nothing and are so easily shot down because they have no substance.
This is a beautifully written free verse that reads so well because of its iambic meter. Very good imagery too to show us the keen construction of the lies which once fooled you, but despite how carefully and precisely put together now, it doesn't take much to expose them for what they are. Very good job.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
-
I appreciate that so much, Jim.Thanks, Bestie!
Xo
Comment from Teri7
Jessica, This is a very well written poem. You used great descriptive words and really great imagery to go with your words. love and blessings, Teri That artwork is so dainty looking!
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
|
Jessica, This is a very well written poem. You used great descriptive words and really great imagery to go with your words. love and blessings, Teri That artwork is so dainty looking!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2024
-
Thank you so much, Teri!
Comment from Mrs. KT
Hello, Jess!
Wonderful!
The emotive imagery your poetic offering invokes is powerful, resonating deeply in my mind's eye. Your words draw this reader in = the mark of exceptional writing...
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
|
Hello, Jess!
Wonderful!
The emotive imagery your poetic offering invokes is powerful, resonating deeply in my mind's eye. Your words draw this reader in = the mark of exceptional writing...
Thank you for sharing!
fondly,
diane
Comment Written 06-Nov-2024
